Is dressing a sexual or stress relief for you?

[AnnMarie Sweet]

When I was younger, crossdressing was a purely sexual thing; dress, get excited, do the 'thing', undress. Nowadays, while still a sexual thrill, I now take pleasure in doing the everyday things at home whilst dressed. I always wear sheer full-brief panties, sheer stockings or pantyhose, my favourite black slip, a calf-length black skirt, blouse and heels (don't feel 'complete' wearing anything else. But rather than a 'session' being over within an hour, as once was the case, I find it far more satisfying just to wear the clothes and enjoy all the sensations which are inherent to wearing lovely feminine attire - the flimsiness of my stockings, the 'slide' of slip on panties, the tightness of the slips' straps on my shoulders, the free-swish movement of skirt on stockinged legs, etc. Nothing else compares favourably to the exhiliration that comes with spending an entire evening in ladies-wear. Doing the 'thing' is not always the culmination of an evening for me; this is why I believe that the focus of the experience has shifted from sexual to stress-relief. I feel 'better' while dressed.

[Marissa Mae]

I echo Anne-Marie—I too feel better when dressed. But all my life long it has been sexual *and* stress relief—in short, just plain relief, all kinds. That hasn't changed with age.

I simply feel more like myself when feminine. When en drab, I feel drab—something's missing, some big part of me. When I am femme, that part, full of wonder and freshness and definitely sexy, descends on me like a ton of gifts.

Of course it's partly mental, and I've learned to feel like the woman I am even when en drab. (I think of it as going braless.) But the clothes, and the boobs, make, oh my! such a difference. They make me feel "right" at last.

So to me being dressed, and feeling femme, all the time would be preferable, because I feel best en femme in a whole spectrum of ways. It isn't possible for me to be femme 24/7 for various reasons, but it is my natural state.

Love, Marissa Mae

[Anne Bonny]

Sex is a normal part of life or should be for everyone.

Sex is separate from gender. Just as orientation and gender and our sex are all quite different things.

When I was young I did not understand what was happening to me and was very confused and deeply in the closet because I believed these desires were forbidden and bad, if caught I would never live it down it would be horrible so I was never caught. The internet did not even exist until I was about 25 years old so I thought I was unique. I mean I was male and I was enjoying trying on items of my sisters cast off clothing in secret when no one was around, what other male in the world would do that? Of course when I was young I wanted to have sex with a girl, and I had a healthy sexual desire so it was only natural to bring the dressing into my episodes of mastribation, I had no girl friends at this age, even as I fantasized about women but the two (sex and gender) do not go together. Each has a proper place. It took time but as I grew older and more mature and became more open everything began to fall into it's proper place again. I like anyone else who is not "dead" have a sexual appetite and a sexual orientation towards women, heterosexual. But I am also gender fluid and though mostly centered on the masculine side, when my gender flows to the feminine side the intense feeling of identification as a feminine person has me wanting to wear feminine clothing and be with women as a group, my interests shift a little too though my personality remains exactly the same. I suppose my mood shifts some..more passive and open more gentle or tend to be but it varies. So Dressing does not come and go with a sexual episode, it comes on separately and tends to last for several hours, perhaps most of a day and can continue nearly every day until my gender flows back to the masculine side. The enjoyment is just being able to be feminine because that is how I am feeling, how I am identifying. I feel closer to women and feel I share something more in common with women during these times than I do with men and it is not sexual it is just who I am or gender.

I find if I am very stressed out I tend not to have any desire in the feminine direction, I tend to hunker down in my masculine gender. When I am happy or perhaps only moderately stressed my gender can flow in either direction. I believe for myself when I am happy and not under stress I am as or perhaps more likely to flow to the feminine direction but my gender is fluid so I can be quite masculine and happy too.

[Marissa Mae]

Harking back to a point made a page or two previously ...

I don't think it's true that CDing can't involve hotly sexual emotions at a quite young age. Mine began at an age so young that some people might scoff and disbelieve it—though I imagine it's credible to a good many of us who may have started that early.

I think we mostly forget/suppress/refuse to recall how sexual some of our childhood experiences can be. Me as well, I suppose. Certainly I can't recall my own sexual awareness prior to age 8-9.

But for me at that age, it was certainly very hot when I'd sneak and dress in my mother's silky stuff—and bras, especially bras. I'd glory in the forbidden in a very sexual way nobody could mistake for anything else.

If that's TMI I apologize, but I think it's a point worth making. The experience, childhood or not, could be very potent.

Love, Marissa Mae

[Michelle Diane]

For me it's calming so I guess stress relief. it just feels natural to me to be dressed and that has a calming effect on me. Honestly can't think of a time when it was sexual in nature.

[Vicki OShea]

Sometimes it can be sexual, but mostly it's comfort. When I was younger it was all sexual. When I got to college and started getting more in touch with my femme side, that's definitely when it started to change for me. I had now had outfits instead of just some lingerie and liked presenting myself as a female. I found dressing now to be very comforting and relaxing (must be the yoga pants!). It brings out a more playful side of me and provides relief from stress. Probably because Vicki doesn't have a job, a mortgage, or any worries. She gets to shop, where pretty things, have fun, and flash a pretty smile at me when I walk past a mirror. She is my way of pampering myself I guess and she offers me unconditional love in return (which is good, 'cuz the dog just ignores me now).

[Paulette]

Now it's both. Used to be only sexual/tension release.

Sometimes it starts as one and changes. Sometimes it stays.

And every once in a while I just want to feel pretty - no sex; no tension - but that fades in a few hours.

[Rhanda]

I actually started with makeup and progressed to dressing. I have a sister that is six years older than I and in those days girls clothes were kept so that they could be used for material in quilting, that is the nicer stuff. Yes, it was all sexual. later after I was in high school I started to use makeup all the time and no one ever said anything about it. I didn't start to cross dress to any extent until I started wearing heels about five years ago.


Now it is something that I have to do to relax with myself. Sex has very little to do with it.

Rhanda

[Martha G]

It's basically tension relief. When I get tense, dressing as a woman and looking at least 10 years younger tends to relieve my stress.

I generally wish to dress when I get up tight and tense.

Others time when I am relaxed I don't have any wishes to dress at all. Forget it!

However I thoroughly enjoy dressing as a woman.

And when dressed I become a woman in my mind and tend to become feminine and womanly!

[DanielleM]

When I was younger, I was dressing for stress relief. I would get sexually excited and masturbate. A lot of times I would seek sexual relief from stress, it was all mixed up I guess. As I have gotten older, I dress more without the sexual angle involved.

[Wesley]

Like most everyone else, about the time my sexual maturity began to express itself (around the onset of adolescence) it caused sexual excitement.

And like most everyone else, after adolescence, the sexual component faded somewhat, and I began to underdress regularly. It brought about a "peaceful easy feeling," which I have quantified for years as stress reduction. I don't know that that is totally correct today as I look back. It was more of a feeling of a normal level of abnormality. Not in a malignant sort of way, but I suspect I reached a point where I had internalized wearing a bra and panties to the point that it felt normal and right. I never had a desire to be female, but just being on par with women when it came to wearing simple lingerie, (ie panties and small cup bra). . .

Today, If I don't put on a bra and forms, panties, flats or womens sneakers. . and often a silky undershirt, I feel out of sorts. If I want to go totally in drab, I have to force myself, but don't really dwell on it during the day.

Being able to take a moment during the day, and feel my breasts is quite comforting while in public but out of the area of attention. These days, most all of what I wear is women's but not overtly so. Women's jeans. . .ballet flats, knee high black hose. . Black Danskin women's hoodie. Unrecognized by 99.975% of people.

As for sexuality, It is still a component, especially as I am no longer married. . . (It was amicable and had NOTHING to do with crossdressing. . . ) However, it is not required, but it is nice.

[KymmieL]

I think dressing for me started as sexual, and still is somewhat. It has become a stress reliever. At times when I am stressed mostly at work all I can think about is getting home and slipping into a comfy skirt or dress maybe some lingerie.

Kymmie

[DanielleM]

Don't post very often but this subject... I see myself in so many of the responses. Sexual or Stress relief? Yes and yes... both. And not always at the same time. When I first started dressing, well, it felt good and sexual. I got off sexually while wearing any feminine clothing.... and it did become a ritual. Dress, feel feminine and sensual eventually masturbating. Did that on and off for many years. As I have gotten older and have come to understand the masculine/feminine balance of my personality, dressing has just become a part of me, less sensual. I feel dressing is more a feminine thing than sensual now tho it does come out on the rare occasion. If I don't dress occasionally, like the last couple of months, I feel a slowly rising stress that interferes with life. Dressing feminine has a calming, almost soothing effect. Brings me back in balance.

So, in retrospect, when I was younger, it was sexual but over time it has become more of a stress relief.

[Annie]

I think for me it is both. I certainly am interested in sex at times when I dress but I also find when I am apprehensive, nervous or just angry, I find it calming.

After an unusually brief and nasty exchange (about absolutely something silly and stupid) with my wife yesterday as she left for work, I went right upstairs to get my clothes to iron for the day. I was really ticked and went right for my dress, and heels. I put them on and suddenly felt calm. That was a first for me. I had never felt that before.

But there is a definite sexual component to dressing for me as well. I have not had the opportunity to experience it yet but then one needs to go out in public for that doesn't one?