Sexual Preferrence

A 'round table' for CDs, TGs and GG/SOs to talk with each other. We're all in this together, so let's make the most of it.

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Paulette
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Paulette »

. dup - sorry
Last edited by Paulette on Tue Aug 04, 2015 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Paulette
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Paulette »

This is a fun thread.

I know several women who are into breasts, on men or women, and penises, but cannot deal with another vagina. I know a trans-woman who was astonished to discover, after top, bottom, and feminisation surgery that she could not enjoy sex with men, but really did not want to be thought of as a lesbian even though it's women who turned her on.

Life is complex, and assumptions can really, really screw your pooch.

We are so hemmed in by social and sexual expectations that finding out sexual niche, let alone our sexual bliss, is difficult and rare. I wish us, all of us, all the best, but getting there is probably going to hurt.

One guy in a thousand will smell right to me. One woman in ten will do the same. So that makes me heterosexual, or mildly bisexual, maybe. Dressing, with forms, shapewear, and a nice nightgown does not make me want another man - it makes me a lesbian who wants a woman. Whatever.

There are too many variables. Find your main tracks, hang with a liberal/loose crowd, be careful of the extremes and fetishists, experiment a little, look at Fetlife to get an idea of the scope of sexuality. Find out what you want, and try it out.

There's lots of room for happiness in the world, but you have to pretty much know where your's is, and then look for it.

We're all different here, so look for the difference closest to your own.

Good luck, and stay safe.
~ Paulette
~ just lucky, I guess.
Marissa Mae
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Marissa Mae »

Yes, we as individuals and as a society are too hung up on labels. Also on what we think a woman is, what we think a man is, and how appealing or threatening those things seem to us.

And it's true that, on a very basic level, it's not going to matter to Mother Nature what we do or who or which we do it with. Still, we grow up, get bent or twisted, and seek the light each in our own individual way, and that becomes essential to us.

For myself, for reasons I've come to believe are pretty specific, men as sexual objects just don't rise above the horizon for me. (For that matter I prefer being with women socially, also.) I am hetero as a male, and a lesbian as a femme, and wouldn't like to trespass beyond those boundaries.

But I also know that's because my experiences shaped me that way. Had they not, my field of choices might have been much wider, and wilder.

Strange world from a gender viewpoint! And stranger still to think of all the choices that brought each of us to where we are today, and to our specific wants, dreads, likes, dislikes and so on!

Love, Marissa Mae
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Rikki
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Rikki »

Marissa,

I second your conversation. I love women (one in particular) and enjoy being with them along with being dressed as one. Most men I find to be a bore. My 2 cents.

Rikki
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Pam T.
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Pam T. »

I have always been gay and attracted to men. I have never been attracted to females in a sexual way. I have always been envious of them though, wishing I looked like them or had their bodies or etc but never had sexual feelings for females.
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Lacey Hadley
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Lacey Hadley »

Interesting topic and one that has many thoughts. I agree most probably 90+% of crossdressers identify that they are heterosexuals. Human sexuality and sexual preferences are not always so black and white clear. Through life you will find that a number of heterosexual males and females have 'experimented' with homosexuality. I believe this experimentation may be higher among females. I think among those who identify as bi-sexual one will see more genetic females do than males. For males it's going to be more straight forward, straight or gay with a smaller percentage as bi-sexual or bi-curious in the classic sense. IMO with females it will be more straight, then a good sum as bi-sexual or bi-curious and very few as lesbian.

Toss in crossdressing and mix in drag queens and many regular day to day persons think both are the same. But crossdressers and drag queens are often quite different.

1: Drag Queens are probably 99% homosexual and are very clear to make sure all know this about them. They have a femme side but often it's a caricature of an embellished female form, used to attract men, some straight men who are looking for a fling, some bi-sexual males and most gay males who are into overtly feminine drag queens. But also many or most drag queens use this as a profession, for these men in drag shows and drag based media.

2: Crossdressers are different in that we feel an affinity to our female side and as such we use crossdressing as an outlet for pleasure be it simple to be it sexual. We may feel a need to crossdress to keep our personal sanity as often many of us if we are denied or deny ourselves (most often out of fear or guilt) of this feminine/crossdressing outlet will likely grow ever more angry, upset, miserable and even depressed. These feelings from denial may be very dangerous to us as persons as we may act in ways of unclear thoughts to carry out dangerous acts on ourselves.

For most any of us here, if we are unable to crossdress for a significant period of time I dare say we all go down a similar path of such ill feelings. When we are then able to dress up we like an emotional explosion feel immense relief and pleasure to let this ever present feminine side to us be out and be girly. If you have been denied or deny yourself as a cder then this resultant cding session is like Christmas to us, especially if getting the opportunity to dress is based on getting some new clothes, shoes, make up etc. I know for me my nerves are wild and my hands almost shake as I play with new things for myself a Lacey especially if I have not been able to dress as her for a while.

So back to how this affects sexuality. IMO humans are a very complex sexual animal. Yes, observed in life we have seen homosexuality among other animals. But humans have a much more sophisticated sexuality and adding our inborn nature to each of us and yes social conditioning adds IMO more than just vanilla and chocolate sexuality flavours for us as human beings.

Sex is not just for procreation for humans. Even gays can procreate, it does not take being only hetero for a man and a woman to have sex to make a child. A gay man can impregnate a woman if he chooses to still want a child even though he is wired as gay. A lesbian can still have sex with a man if she wishes to get pregnant even if she only desires to have relationships of other females.

So sex for quote, "knocking a woman up." is different than sexuality for what is, for those who prefer to have a sexual and maybe more meaningful relationship with. Humans are very more advanced and varied than most if not all other animals in this regard.

Society is progressing to understand human sexuality and by our progressive nature able to study and more so freely discuss human sexuality in ways we were not so able too oh 20-30-50-100+ years ago.

My life has seen me look at myself as a cder and feelings that I have, as time matures me and hopefully with gained intelligence of my own self. I have my life identified myself as heterosexual, been married had female relations. I've never had any male/male sexual desires nor general inclinations. I look at and relate to dudes while I'm a dude as any oh hetero male will.

I've noticed things about me en femme though as I get older and especially over the last year for some reason my desire to be a better looking fully dressed cder as Lacey. From better makeup application to finding hair styles in my wig choices that really suit who I am en femme to building and wearing a more varied wardrobe, one from from mild to oh la la la, wild.

I have also been Youtube watching more and more other crossdesser videos and transgender videos. My sexuality has seemed to become more noticeably for me fluid. I still as a man look at attractive women to me as any other hetero male will (though my cder side see them often for the cloths, shoes,hair and makeup they wear :wink: ) but I have noticed that I may find attractive trans girls and well turned cders interesting too. Both in how I see them from my regular male's POV and from my en femme POV. As Lacey I see genetic females as attractive but also some trans girls and well turned cders as sexually interesting too. These are thoughts I've not normally noticed in my past. But then again before things like YouTube as such one did not see much of trans and cding girls, unless you bought magazines and maybe rented videos.

But oddly as Lacey, dressed up as best I can with make up and hair I have found my mind wanders at times about being with a gentleman. I will occasionally think about what it may be like as an attractive gal with a real gentleman being with me, wining and dining me showing an interest in me. It's TOTALLY ODD FOR ME! I have ZERO sexual interest in other men when I'm in drab mode, none, nadda. But en femme these feelings have and do cross my mind.

I have only recently begun to learn about terms like pan-sexuality and poly-sexuality.

Pan-sexual: can be attracted to any and all persons regardless of sex, gender, or gender identity.
Poly-sexual: can be attracted to person of other sexuality, genders or gender identities but not to all.

I find maybe the term poly-sexual is akin to me. I don't know but will end with this. Gender and sexuality are two different things. But sexual identity is not so vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate in life. But is for many of us maybe more fluid... just my 2 cents. :sigh: :laptop: :coffee:
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities. Ayn Rand
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Ms. Erin
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Ms. Erin »

My sexual orientation is still confusing to me. My therapist tells me I am sexually attracted to males and romantically attracted to females.

However at this time I feel, and call myself when asked, a heterosexual transwoman.

I do want to add that I have experienced sexual relationships with both sexes in the past and that for the last year maybe, I have not had any relationships or one night stands. Actually thanks to HRT I am not actively seeking or interested in sex, however I am getting more and more curious in dating males, romantically.
I am a woman of trans experience.
Sandy Silk
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Sandy Silk »

Just as you are experimenting with your CD side...your innate curiousity is leading you to want to explore more. I feel it's a natural progression. If you decide to experiment...the only admonishment is to be 100 per cent safe. Don't dress...meet a man..and do something that will alter your life in a terrible manner. Safe sex is the only sex.

The question is do you have these desires if you're not dressed. If you go out as a guy...do these desires diminish or disappear? Only you can answer.
In my case, I'd love to meet a fellow heterosexual CD to befriend and dress with. It doesn't necessarily have to involve a sexual component. Many of us are in the experimental phase of life..sometimes it's hard to slow down..but it's the advisable path.

Also I forgot to add...and if someone can add to this please do. When I'm dressed I want to,overwhelmingly be a lesbian. I want to be touched at the places that would correspond to,the female anatomy. About three weeks ago, I totally became hairless but for a patch above where a vagina would be. I have found this to be totally satisfying from a tactile as well as visual sense. To wear hose and panties in this manner stopped being sexually stimulating..it's just satisfying. Make any sense?


** Edited to combine successive posts, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - Members may edit their posts within 6 hrs of original post. - SL
Marissa Mae
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Marissa Mae »

Hi sisters,

Curious how often I read and hear assumptions that crossdressers and transgender M-to-F people must be gay (= male-male gay).

Yet though I am a crossdresser and feel very feminine, as noted above I am not male homosexual; I consider myself lesbian and wish only relationships with genetic women.

Furthermore, I get the impression here and elsewhere that in truth: male-male gay experiencers are in the minority among CDTG people, and the majority of us, maybe way more than a majority, are straight males.

If I am right, I wish the world would get its head straight: we may be feminine, but the larger number of us are not "sissy" or "sub," and particularly not gay males. Do you agree, or have I misperceived?

Love, Melissa
Shelby
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Re: Sexual Preferrence

Post by Shelby »

While I don't consider myself gay, or even bi, I do fantasize about performing oral and having anal sex. However, my fantasies usually involve my wife with a strap-on or another sexy CD.

Not sure what that makes me, if we need to put a label on it but, that's where I stand.
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