dressing in front of our spouse

[Marissa Mae]

It occurs to me that dressing in front of one's spouse could have a kind of performance dimension to it. Here you are, or here I am, dressed as the opposite sex. Most wives are not totally into it, going, Wow, that's great. I would bet most are somewhere on the scale between annoyed but tolerant and mildly accepting.

So this appearance we're putting on feels good to us, but we're just a little bit on-stage with respect to her. How is she, our audience, taking it? What are we with respect to her while this is going on? A self-conscious performer, out to impress? Trying to fade into the woodwork? Somewhere ranging between a little bit defiant and a little bit embarrassed?

Or even suppose we're feeling good, and she's feeling good, but there's a disconnect between what and who we both are, stemming from what we're doing?

I guess I'm suggesting that the nuances matter. This may seem like low-level stuff, but it can add up, even cause a breach, when suddenly she breaks loose with an acid comment that's been stored up, waiting to happen, for weeks or months of saying nothing or even seeming pretty okay with it.

Just mulling here ... if that's any help.

Marissa Mae

[Paulette]

Self-centered? I'd say self-absorbed to the point of blindness and stupidity.

I am speaking here of walking out of the house fully en femme and leaving your wife in tears over your being so dressed.

Anyone who could do this to a spouse has greater problems than cross-dressing.

[Noeleena]

Hi.

I would like this to come over in a way that's not confronting yet knowing what I do it still will be ,

Part of the diffirence men and women have on this subject

How do you explain to some one why you feel you need to dress in womens clothes, how would / do I feel about this .maybe not so much different from many women,

I have talked with other wifes and sister,s and when I met some of the men I had to agree with them and how I saw this and how it affects us as women and why ,

Having a friend or two who do dress is no bother because I'm not married to them I do know many others of cause though did not talk in length with them , now this is where it changes a man in a dress or skirt is not the or has been the issue , what is . is when men try to emulate and be like women in all aspects of clothes / dress makeup and so on to the point of if their wife boy friend or those who know them walking down the road would / could not reconise who they were unless they said Hi for most any way .

So this involves more than just a dress its how they wont to be seen or not , so the clothes makeup shoes hair or wigs and then how they walk manerisims demeanor and and talking maybe in presenting what most would any way say looked acted and passed as a normal woman .

then there comes the sexual side what then many I know would soon jump it to bed with another dresser , and the comment was to feel what its like to be a woman , just not bear children or bring up a family or have what we women have in our lifes full time all year round and for life ,plus a lot of other detail that comes with being a female .

For the men

So would you have children answer no = no way . let the women do that .

what about the monthly detail and mood changes and the normal tied to the house work and feeding family and hubby happy as well on top of that other stuff,

So to come back to how I feel and many others = women = and this ? came up why should we have to accept men who dress and have them take over many of the hard fought for aspects of our lifes that our women were beaten striped and left for dead starved and used for mens sexual advances and raped ,

You may not think this is going on today well it is and I talk with women who have been through this and going on now , and men use what ever for what they wont ,

For many women they expect their man to be just that and not to change his whole demeanor and how he is around his wife from when they were first married ,

Now this came up , to show your feminineity many men do that and don't dress at all . are they still not just normal men or soft men if you like not all are hard out like your term red necks ,



I know 3 wifes who were abused beaten and cheated on and theres more and the husbands are dressers and court cases were pending and taken place .

Okay most of this I,v used from other forums I'm on and theres a lot more of cause .

Myself how do I see this , as I,v said , I would find it very hard to be married to a man and he,s a dresser , why its only.....clothes . no, its not , as I,v written about ,

If it were only........ a skirt or dress by them selfs that is not the issue and never has been as you know from our Renaissance groups 1400 - 1700 check out thier / our neat clothes ,

There maybe some other aspects that could be looked at or not thought of .

The comment of . a performance or embarrassed , with our group in some lovely skirts or dress,s , I think you,ll find its very well accepted try it . if you can see beyond the trying to be a woman part you may just see another aspect of life with garb / clothes just a thought . just think of the lovely clothing they wore then ,

...noeleena...