-Celia
Death of the Knight
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Wendae
- Miss Golden Goddess
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As stated this is a great thread. I think it needs to be reserected. While I also wear the panties in the family I am of the old breed and still view my self as the provider and protecter. That was the way I was raised. I believe my wife still views me in this light. She still will not talk about my cding desires or accept any attempts on my part to gain interest or understanding. Hopefully I will never have to wield a sword while in fem defending my wife and family but, I would if need be. It's possible that I may be viewed as the fairy knight with tarnished armor(or sissified) but be that as it may it would be a serious misconception if there was a need for me to smack someone with my purse. 
I believe I was a lesbian in my past life
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CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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Hi all,
Well, I have been described, by an old flame, as "a knight in tarnished armour." Does that count?
Seriously, on the surface, the knight in shining armour is as dead as the damsel in distress. These are hoary fictions and I'm happy they're retired. I say "on the surface" because the stereotypes linger (as stereotypes usually do); people need them in order to make some kind of sense of the world. But the world doesn't really make any kind of sense; however, people--individuals--do (or can). So, who brings home the bacon? who's the strong, protective one in the family? who's the one taking charge? Well, that depends on whether or not you consider the person running the home to be the one in charge or if you consider the person who makes it possible for there to BE a home to be in charge. In the end, it's a case-by-case matter. Actually, it has always been so: I look at the effort traditionally expended by women in the home and I find them to be the knights (or, rather, damsels) in shining armour.
In my case, Roxanne is more the material provider in our couple, and I'm more the home organizer and provider of emotional comforts. Neither of us are knights in shining armour nor damsels in distress. We're both individuals who provide, each according to his or her means and abilities, the necessities for the healthy life of our couple and home.
This is as it should be, no?
Love,
CJ
Well, I have been described, by an old flame, as "a knight in tarnished armour." Does that count?
Seriously, on the surface, the knight in shining armour is as dead as the damsel in distress. These are hoary fictions and I'm happy they're retired. I say "on the surface" because the stereotypes linger (as stereotypes usually do); people need them in order to make some kind of sense of the world. But the world doesn't really make any kind of sense; however, people--individuals--do (or can). So, who brings home the bacon? who's the strong, protective one in the family? who's the one taking charge? Well, that depends on whether or not you consider the person running the home to be the one in charge or if you consider the person who makes it possible for there to BE a home to be in charge. In the end, it's a case-by-case matter. Actually, it has always been so: I look at the effort traditionally expended by women in the home and I find them to be the knights (or, rather, damsels) in shining armour.
In my case, Roxanne is more the material provider in our couple, and I'm more the home organizer and provider of emotional comforts. Neither of us are knights in shining armour nor damsels in distress. We're both individuals who provide, each according to his or her means and abilities, the necessities for the healthy life of our couple and home.
This is as it should be, no?
Love,
CJ
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Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
Wendae thanks for resurrecting this thread. It's a great one.
Personally I have NEVER thought women were the weaker sex. Even in a place like Afghanistan. Do you think men could survive what women have had to endure at the hands of the Taliban?
As for the whole KSA thing, read Sojurner Truth's speech sometime about what being a woman meant for her.
My maternal grandmother felt the same way. I posted something about her several years back. Like many women in her time and place, the only thing she ever needed a man for was to get pregnant. Nowadays she wouldn't even need him for that.
My wife was looking for a KSA. Of course today the shining armor is a 3 peice suit and the horse is a nice car. She and her girlfriends used to laugh about how they got us instead. But the truth of the matter is the first time the knight tried to boss her around he'd be history.
Yes most men have just as many feelings as women, are just as vulnerable. We just express them differently. I personally am a bit of a drama queen. My wife is fond of saying that all those women married to strong silent types don't know how lucky they are. But still, she married me, because in spite of what she thinks, she can't stand the strong silent type either.
Zari
Personally I have NEVER thought women were the weaker sex. Even in a place like Afghanistan. Do you think men could survive what women have had to endure at the hands of the Taliban?
As for the whole KSA thing, read Sojurner Truth's speech sometime about what being a woman meant for her.
My maternal grandmother felt the same way. I posted something about her several years back. Like many women in her time and place, the only thing she ever needed a man for was to get pregnant. Nowadays she wouldn't even need him for that.
My wife was looking for a KSA. Of course today the shining armor is a 3 peice suit and the horse is a nice car. She and her girlfriends used to laugh about how they got us instead. But the truth of the matter is the first time the knight tried to boss her around he'd be history.
Yes most men have just as many feelings as women, are just as vulnerable. We just express them differently. I personally am a bit of a drama queen. My wife is fond of saying that all those women married to strong silent types don't know how lucky they are. But still, she married me, because in spite of what she thinks, she can't stand the strong silent type either.
Zari
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Wendae
- Miss Golden Goddess
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- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 3:02 pm
- Location: Tampa, FL
CJ
Zari
Maybe this is true for the younger generation. We can't all be John Wayne types. In my case my wife was pretty much independent until the big "C" came to visit. We fought that battle and won but she is now crippled up with arthritis. So my damsel is in distress and I'm still providing, protecting and care giving. I still like to fantacize that these types still exist.the knight in shining armour is as dead as the damsel in distress
Zari
That's pretty much true and as far recreational sex goes check out the "toys" they have available. They really don't need us for that either.Nowadays she wouldn't even need him for that
I believe I was a lesbian in my past life
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CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Wendae,
You're right, I'm thinking more of the younger generations. Those born after Woodstock seem to have little use for chivalry stereotypes. I think what bothers me about the "knight in shining armour" type is the idea that, when a woman "needs saving" (and you can interpret that in a thousand different ways), it's a noble thing and a sacrifice for a man to do so but, when a man needs to be tended to and "saved," it's a woman's duty to do so (again, according to stereotype).
I'm sorry to hear your wife had to battle cancer, Wendae (but I'm glad she's in remission). Let me ask you this: if the roles had been reversed and she had had to take care of you as you fought the illness, would you automatically come to think of your wife as your knight in shining armour or rather as a dutiful wife fulfilling her obligations as a natural caregiver? To me, the latter stereotype is only slightly less repugnant than the former. Both lock human beings into social models that eclipse people's individuality. Seems to me all of us are, variously, and at one time or another, knights, damsels, chivalrous, and dutiful, regardless of gender or sex.
Going strictly by the stereotypes, most of the women I know in my life--from my first girlfriend all the way to the Admins of this very forum--are knights in shining armour; they have inner strength coupled to a nobility of spirit that is of a tremendous help to others who are going through tough times (and, in the case of this forum, the damsels in distress are mostly men--go figure!).
Love,
CJ
Wendae,
You're right, I'm thinking more of the younger generations. Those born after Woodstock seem to have little use for chivalry stereotypes. I think what bothers me about the "knight in shining armour" type is the idea that, when a woman "needs saving" (and you can interpret that in a thousand different ways), it's a noble thing and a sacrifice for a man to do so but, when a man needs to be tended to and "saved," it's a woman's duty to do so (again, according to stereotype).
I'm sorry to hear your wife had to battle cancer, Wendae (but I'm glad she's in remission). Let me ask you this: if the roles had been reversed and she had had to take care of you as you fought the illness, would you automatically come to think of your wife as your knight in shining armour or rather as a dutiful wife fulfilling her obligations as a natural caregiver? To me, the latter stereotype is only slightly less repugnant than the former. Both lock human beings into social models that eclipse people's individuality. Seems to me all of us are, variously, and at one time or another, knights, damsels, chivalrous, and dutiful, regardless of gender or sex.
Going strictly by the stereotypes, most of the women I know in my life--from my first girlfriend all the way to the Admins of this very forum--are knights in shining armour; they have inner strength coupled to a nobility of spirit that is of a tremendous help to others who are going through tough times (and, in the case of this forum, the damsels in distress are mostly men--go figure!).
Love,
CJ
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Wendae
- Miss Golden Goddess
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CJ 
No, I wouldn't have viewed her in either role. We have always been partners and she was always a person I could count on to be there for me(except for my CDing). But of course I view myself differently in my little fantasy world even if it seems to be a contradiction. It'll be interesting to see other views on the topic.if the roles had been reversed
I believe I was a lesbian in my past life
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Jen (SO)
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Amanda M
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Re: Death of the Knight
My situation is simple. I would - literally - kill for my wife, as she would for me should it be necessary. She knows she can depend on my support utterly and completely, and I am equally sure of her.
In many ways, we do not have gender stereotypical roles in our household at all. What needs done gets done, by whover is best equipped to do it. When we met, I don't think she saw me as a Knight in Shining Armour (maybe Don Quixote, perhaps) but she is still my Princess in the Crystal Tower.
As for women being the weaker sex - forget it! I have watched her deal with intense chronic pain, and a prognosis of never being able to walk again with incredible fortitude and dignity, much more than I would have in her place. Fortunately, we are through that now and she CAN walk again, but forget the macho nonsense about women being weaker. Perhaps that's why I admire yo GGs so much.
In many ways, we do not have gender stereotypical roles in our household at all. What needs done gets done, by whover is best equipped to do it. When we met, I don't think she saw me as a Knight in Shining Armour (maybe Don Quixote, perhaps) but she is still my Princess in the Crystal Tower.
As for women being the weaker sex - forget it! I have watched her deal with intense chronic pain, and a prognosis of never being able to walk again with incredible fortitude and dignity, much more than I would have in her place. Fortunately, we are through that now and she CAN walk again, but forget the macho nonsense about women being weaker. Perhaps that's why I admire yo GGs so much.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!