When is it too sexy? (Too provocative)

[Satara]

I'm talking about blurring the line between looking hot and sexy in some nice (maybe tight) fem wear, and wondering whether or not u look "good", or look like a slut/ prostitute. ...PLZ forgive my brutal honesty

[DonnaT]

wondering whether or not u look "good", or look like a slut/ prostitute

If it makes you wonder, it may be too much.

And then again, it could depend on where you are. Some club wear is over the top, and not for the the streets.

[Carol Ann]

Well hon to be honest at my age sexy is out, wife makes sure I look nice but not trashy as she has the last word

[Trudy]

I have to agree with Carol Ann to a point, if you have to ask then yes it is probably too slutty!

I guess you have to really ask that question in a context. In other words what is too sexy for the grocery store may be very conservative in a club. My rule of thumb has always been to dress to fit in. Sure I have gone into the grocery store in a skirt and 4" heels, what woman hasn't on her way home from work or church? I just don't make a practice of it.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

I spos im embarrised enough as it is because i dont look like a female so my clothes my normal day / evening wear are modest nice suit me , are for myself as a woman i feel are how i would like to be seen,

Even my period wear / garb are still nice & i can go over sea's in them & get lovely comments, im allmost 66 im happy in my clothes i dont have to think does this look right for me as jos would say & has that looks nice, ill do or wear eligent.

most of my skirts / dress's are long i have 3 that are just below the knees,

Not all of us females dress to impress others most of my friends are women i dont see them in short skirts trying to be girls on the take, or other wise , our dress sence is for those of us who are mature women.

Going back to... being embarrised..., i am female who lacks a feminine look im looked at enough as it is ill just say i dont pass or blend in so theres no way ill dress in a way that would make me look worse than i am its that simple, I struggle enough as it is, just being a female with out any other detail to contend with.
iv said enough .

...noeleena...

[Absaroka]

I suppose you can take a cue from how folks react to you.

[Paulette]

A lot depends on your expectations and goals.

Are you trying to attract someone, trying to be seen as a particular kind of person, or just trying to express yourself?

Perhaps a better question is whether the look you want is the goal, or is the response to that look is the goal?

Do you have an idea of how you will respond if you succeed in attracting someone's attention?

[Paulette]

I have to say that I don't have this problem.

I underdress or wear lingerie to bed with my wife. I do wear dresses around the house, to do my work (small publisher/printer) and for housework, but most of the time I dress male. I've almost never gone en femme in public.

So I never have a problem not knowing whether or not I'm dressed too sexy. That's not your situation, I take it.

When I was very young and flirting with getting caught, I was easily recognized as a kid transvestite who was badly over-dressed, an embarrassment to himself, and obvious jail bait. But that's pretty much what I wanted to be seen as. What do you want to be seen as? And can you deal with the resulting consequences?

FWIW I'd avoid the term "slut" because it's become a femminist tag of honor for some, as well as a term of disparagement.

(Sorry to post here so much, but I find it hard to resist adding comments whenever I pass through.)

[Eileen (SO)]

Ask yourself if your Mother would approve. Better yet, as a man, what's the first thought if you saw a women dressed the same way. If you want to blend into the female population, slutty doesn't work so well.

Eileen

[Deidre Taylor]

Sexy and provocative can be 2 very different things. My BF finds it sexy if I wear my hair up, especially if I wear a skirted suit. To others I just look like a business woman so that may be the issue here. I think you need to assess your age, your figure, and how well you pull it off. A tight skirt and top may look nice on a 22 YO woman with a nice figure but slutty on a 50 YO woman with a big gut and saggy butt! Your best guide is your own eye, look in the mirror and if says Hooker to you it certainly does to others!

[Dolores(GG)]

I will agree with others and say it is about context. Sometimes it is nice to be sexy, and if your at a party or club (or even swing by the grocery store) it is ok- you can rock the short skirt and heels! Other times, I think low-key is best.

Not to go on a rant, but personally, I think if you get the vibe of the place your at totally off then the probability of standing out like a sore thumb is greater, for a CDer that extra attention might even jeopardize the chances of passing. I know that some of the times I have seen CDers in public, I tend to notice them only when they seem inappropriately dressed. I have seen some ladies on here bemoan how unfeminine GG women are today but the truth is- when you see someone all dressed up in tights and whatnot in a casual setting...it kinda catches your attention. Ok, end of rant.

[Zephyr Lily]

To some I suppose my idea of dress can be called slutty, but to me its what I feel inside, if I feel feminine and sexy then I am achieving my goal, and to me being female is an ultimate ambition, but having said that I don't think my idea of dress is slutty.

I dress daily, mostly I wear tight stretch jeans (I have a slim figure) white socks with strappy 6 inch spike heels, and a tight top, usually a sweater, my make up consists of foundation, false eyelashes with eyeliner nothing of which I think can be considered over the top, my short blonde hair definitely accentuates my eyes.

When I am not wearing my jeans you will find me in a short skirt, with stockings, garter belt and a thong, and yes, I have gone out like that, I have many looks from guys and girls, but nobody has called me a hooker, or a slut, and if they do then they are jealous, and they have to deal with it themselves.

I will admit though that while I feel good my face still feels hot from shyness.

Just my feelings on this subject

zephyr