Crossdressers-Haven.com

I know this. Even in my thinking. my male outer zone is just a cover up. Sex-Change is out & I have not so far dressed a great deal in public.
I think the feeling stated as a young boy and developed over the years. I am also a proud Dad & Granddad. It c an b e hard at times

You are not the only one in this position. SemperFi

Kittie, have you tried being more feminine as a male? Yea that kind of goes against social rules, but why not. Why are males not allowed to do feminine things as males? What is stopping us from doing feminine things as a male?

I personal grew up doing both "masculine" and "feminine" things and I seen nothing wrong with it. It worked for me.

Kimberly...Yes I a trying this all the time now. It certainly works1

It is still working for me

I know since coming out to my wife, I have slowly let my feminine mannerisms filter into daily life. And it just feels right and natural to me .
Hugs Aretha

I understand what you are saying Kittie. When not having Requal time I sometimes slip into feminine mannerisms subconsciously and have to correct myself immediately.

Why can't people be allowed to be their individual self in today's society?

Hi.

Heading
Why are males not allowed to do feminine things.......

er since when ......thats totaly incorrect. over here it is,

Plus in the 1400 to 1700 's they did and the many men were not trying to be feminine or like women , this attitude is western thinking and is quite wrong .

i have proved time and time again that heading is a non event, many men do very feminine things fact is more than likely more than i do and im a woman not a male to female i was born both male female and have not had any issues, fact is i never thought i was feminine enough to pass or blend in as a normal female let alone a woman. well lets set the record straight, my very astute women friends yes all every one natal born have said and told me despite how i look i am very feminine in i am as a person and as a woman who is female just not quite a complete born one,

I would not accept i was feminine in any way, because i thought i was to male looking facial wise, so rejected that outright, the fact is i am yet i still struggle with it,

I know quite a few men who are lovely and even my friends and i would say they are quite feminine, you dont have to dress as like feminine to be feminine i dont think any different of them if and a few are my friends i ...accept... them for who they are not what they are not,

You know the rule appysl he or she who trys to be other than they are will get found out they who show themselfs for who they are will be accepted, as they are,

That applys to myself so we need to look at is the person real or ..... other..... meet my many friends and they will tell you .

so if any one feels they are or have a feminine side dont be ashamed if thats part of you then ...show your true self, And who gives a dam any way,

Also to lay blame at socity for non acceptance first look at ones self and see first hand why those people dont wont to accept others who are different and why, i have given interviews TVNZ nation wide, and spoken to many 100's of people and found very few who did not accept those of us who are born different,

now they did not understand thats not the issue, the issue is what is it about us yes myself included that people well some who dont / wont accept difference,

I know the reasons . as i work with many 1000's of people ,

So as for the heading time to look inward not outward to find that answer,

...noeleena...

I have felt that I have always had a strong female feeling in my heart and brain and I try be feminine whenever I can.

I have a lot of interests that might be considered feminine; cooking, sewing, arts &crafts etc,. the people who know me , even if they don't know about the cross dressing, don't seem put off by it. Sometimes I think all this division is in our minds.

Kittie, my feelings and situation is almost identical to yours, but like most people in this mind set I have tried to bury it all my life and now I finally realise I have not been true to myself or those near and dear to me. I have decided that enough is enough and before I leave this life I must at least be true to myself which I know will give me that feeling of self worth and calmness that has eluded me all my life.

The thought of how friends and family will react to this has terrified me all my life, the fear of being found out has haunted me and given me many a nightmare. This form of self torture is soul destroying and self destructive. All my life I have tried to like and love those nearest and dearest to me for what they are and not what I think or expect them to be Hopefully they will react in a similar manner to me when they see my true self. I hope my family will accept me and if my friends don't, I will consider that they were not true friends anyway.

Gina L. wrote: I will consider that they were not true friends anyway.

Truer words were never spoken! It is funny wen I came out to my so called friends I was shocked at those who rejected me and those who stood by me. Many of those I thought were "close" friends were in reality far from it. To them all I can say is I hope you choke on it! I had a few that stuck by me and what had been just a "friendship" became a lifelong bond.

Family is another story. From my own experience as well as a few others I know of generally family reacts differently than friends. Remember friends like you for who you are and you are still the same person inside. I know most of you will tell me "Oh no my male persona is far different from my female side." IMHO it isn't. I thought that way back when yet after I transitioned I found I enjoyed the same things as before ad I still hated coconut, long story there.

What I am saying is be who and what you are regardless of what everyone feels about that. If you are in that much fear of being discovered or rejected stay in the closet, there is nothing wrong with that. But if you prefer the light of day come on out!

I feel like my outter self is also a cover up cause I am very masculine on the outside but am a flamming female on the inside that just wants to be let out. I try to be femme but I just end up looking stupid and I have yet to dress up in public other than Halloweeen and when I did that I was told I looked terrible as a female so I am not sure if I will ever get to the point of dressing in public again.

Sandy, looking the part and acting the part are not the same things. First, girls come in all shapes and sizes including the not so feminine. Second, girls can be very feminine looking but walk and talk like truck drivers (not to pick on truck drivers but just to use the stereo type for an example).

To look the part is practice and some cheating with the fashions. To act the part, simply watch the other women; they don't do a whole lot to prove they are women they just be.... Watch the mannerisms; a lot of them are because of what they wear, they carry, they do. Watch a woman carrying a purse; notice they all have similar things they do with their purses? Watch, learn and practice.

Voice and a few other issues are topics to themselves for other discussions.

I have found myself at times at work talking in my female voice and sometimes having female mannerisms. I think a fee people have noticed (I am not out at work yet but am working up the nerve to the start of the new year. I am out everywhere else). I try to scale it back sometimes but it is hard to.