Crossdressers-Haven.com

Quick story about how our presentations may overlap. En drab I went into the Post Office. As I was leaving, I was followed by a lady. She was the passenger in a car parked next to mine. Since she was a few feet behind me I went ahead of her to get in my car. I dropped my keys! Well, I automatically "squatted" to pick them up. She was right behind me and after I got in my car and she got in her's I could see her telling her friend what she had just witnessed. They looked at me then at each other with a bit of a smile and off they went. It took me a second to realize what had just happened, but ........... ain't it great!!!!

Virginia

Virginia dear,
Did you show them your panties?

I had to read Virginia's post more than once before it sunk in.

Virginia wrote: I dropped my keys! Well, I automatically "squatted" to pick them up.
Virginia

By habit, you did what any woman would do, so, I didn't get the significance at first.

Kittie, What do you think is your ultimate goal? Dress on occasion, HRT? Married or not, close family or friends?

Eileen

Dear Kitty. I am with you. I have been searching for about 12 to 15 years for my identity but did not "truly" found it until recently, and only in the last part of last year conforming it, by reading post on this forum and other "research". I am 51 now and last year made the decision to go feminine and therefore came out the closet. It was the best decision I ever made, I am so happy now. And my friends and family still love me for who I am, and I am still my children's daddy, although I started HRT, I will still be there daddy, just in a different "way". Yes I have lost some friends, but I have also gained some new ones.

Now I don't know your personal situation, but do what you think is right for you. Come out and be the person you are feeling. You can dress "girly" and still be a male, or dress and makeup completely, or transition "partly". Do what ever it is that makes you happy and feel right.

Today I actually went outside to the mall dressed like always, feminine, but I did not feel like putting on make-up, so I figured people just have to believe it, they just going to have to look the other way, if they don't like to see a man in woman clothing.

For 51 years I was like hiding, "you're a guy act that way", well that's over now.

In short, like others have mentioned, be yourself how ever that is that makes you feel happy.

KimberlyS wrote:Kittie, have you tried being more feminine as a male? Yea that kind of goes against social rules, but why not. Why are males not allowed to do feminine things as males? What is stopping us from doing feminine things as a male?

I personal grew up doing both "masculine" and "feminine" things and I seen nothing wrong with it. It worked for me.

I would love to know what ther "feminine things" sre?

Kittie,
I want to treat your question as rhetorical because at this point in your life, you probably know the answer to your own question. So let's try this question, "what can I do to feel more feminine in public or what do girls do that is too feminine for many men to consider doing too?"

To answer, many men wouldn't get manis or pedis. Many men won't wear a sweet smelling perfume. Many men don't want shoulder length hair. Lots of men won't wear the softer or brighter "perceived to be" feminine colors. How many guys do you know will ask a woman where she got her dress or top or some item of clothing he liked on her? Basically ignore any of the stereotypically roles of male and female and do anything you feel comfortable enough to do. Wash dishes, take a bubble bath, wear panties to the doctor, drink wine with friends if you like it more than beer; do what's comfortable for you. Notice I didn't say "all men?" Yeah worry about the public because you have to live there, but don't let the public define you.

Very great words, Davita, well spoken.

You go girl Congratulations Leeanna I wish you the best, a big move we are here for you

Davita you want me to answer this question

"So let's try this question, "what can I do to feel more feminine in public or what do girls do that is too feminine for many men to consider doing too?" "

Let see
Dress female or unisex
Use "feminine" lingerie eg Bra I do & wear tights most of the time now
Don't try to hide my obvious 42B boob s or the bra I wear to support them
I'd like to wear a skirt & do in my own home
Use more fragrances
etc

Hi Kittie,

Okay Lets see .....

Would I make a better looking male than a better looking female just for now forget what I am , okay ,

lets go back to 1400 -1700. and see what was worn by who , who looked better who wore the brighter colours and heels and makeup and long hair and on it goes ,

Have a look at some of those lovely photos of who well ....men ....of cause . go to our country of Germany my land of Prussia ,
Renaissance .
Okay at our meetings ,it was taken as fact I was a male taking on the personer of a woman of our days yes dressed as a wench and as a Chateline Lady of the Castle yes a mistriss , so I was asked at our Archery comp,s what will they write male or female , I said im a female okay done well was that my personer..... was it .....?? you answer ,

Till another lovely woman watched me over some time and thought theres nothing about me that's male other than my facial features then she asked me face to face , well told me really your NOT a male ARE you . no im a female so then after that I was brought before our high ranked people and told 250 others my rank was to be known as Lady noeleena, you see I did nothing just was who I am and interacted with others as a normal person just because my looks were different from most females did not distract from me after all said and done , they all know me for who I am and not based on how or my facial features look ,

Years and years ago had I been able to go to our home land I would have fitted in very nicely and would not have looked out of place with my features so there you are .cant help our looks .

Do we fight tooth and nail or accept the way we are and be happy being who we are , ill no comment don't need to ,
as to clothes of our day theres something about our garb that really opens up for myself and quite frankly I prefer those clothes than any thing you could offer me of todays fashion , that's why I design and make mine and wear them every where ,

...noeleena...

Hi,

I seem only to be able to think of myself as female, though physiologically male. Thinking of myself as male is depressing, so I guess I pay more attention to the female thoughts, images, feelings, in defiance of plain fact. Where this ends I have no idea, but that's how I'm happiest and feel the best. I'm a woman, despite appearances.

Love, Marissa Mae

I know how you feel Marissa Mae, it's getting harder for me to get into male mode I just want to be in fem all the time. It's scary because I know it's leading me to being a full time women.

Davita wrote:Kittie,
I want to treat your question as rhetorical because at this point in your life, you probably know the answer to your own question. So let's try this question, "what can I do to feel more feminine in public or what do girls do that is too feminine for many men to consider doing too?"

To answer, many men wouldn't get manis or pedis. Many men won't wear a sweet smelling perfume. Many men don't want shoulder length hair. Lots of men won't wear the softer or brighter "perceived to be" feminine colors. How many guys do you know will ask a woman where she got her dress or top or some item of clothing he liked on her? Basically ignore any of the stereotypically roles of male and female and do anything you feel comfortable enough to do. Wash dishes, take a bubble bath, wear panties to the doctor, drink wine with friends if you like it more than beer; do what's comfortable for you. Notice I didn't say "all men?" Yeah worry about the public because you have to live there, but don't let the public define you.

a very helpful reply

Yes, Davita's reply is a honey. I found myself checking myself off against the things she suggested. I don't get manis or pedis, and my sweet smelling perfume, I find, is most often musk aftershave, which I guess is not very inventive!

But my hair is a few inches past shoulder length (mostly worn in a pony tail, though occasionally flowing like a river). I wear soft 'n bright fem colors almost always—you should see the top I've got on this minute, ¾ sleeve, all pinks, blues, purples, reds, oranges in a non-objective tumble (not as garish as it sounds). I do sometimes compliment a woman and ask her where she got something she's wearing.

In addition my ears are pierced—I wear stud earrings and in private, big hoops or dangles. (It's easy to forget I have the latter on, and a couple of times a repairman has walked in to find me with dangles to my shoulders, oops.) I wear panties 24/7 or, more accurately, 16/7 as I don't wear them to bed very often. As I'm a braholic (they fill 1½ bureau drawers), I almost always have a bra on, with forms unless I'm going out. Skirts constantly in the winter, for warmth over petti pants or velour, in the summer less often but frequently. In the winter, camisoles for warmth.

Nearly every item in my wardrobe is women's make. But as I am not "out," my outfits for going out are all trouser-based (though the trousers are women's). My tops are all women's, some gloriously flossy, but they do include women's tees and shirts, which when I go out don't make me conspicuous.

I do fall down where shoes are concerned, as I wear sneakers almost always. Only rarely am I poshly accoutered in my few pairs of slings (no heels over 2") or flats. In private I supplement my 16/7 earrings with necklaces, bracelets and other jewelry sometimes, lipstick almost never, mascara from time to time.

In short, I've worked out enough ways of feeling and looking femme to please me *almost* all the time. And when extra thrills are wanted I've got a few reliable "secret weapons"—like my mist-green strapless gown—to make me feel like a girl on her first date. (With another girl—when en femme, I'm a definite lesbian.)

I hope by enlarging on Davita's suggestions I've put some hints out there that some of you might like to add to your repertoires—but oh heck, I'm sure most of you are doing these things already!

Love, Marissa Mae

Thank you for your comments
Yes I do buy most clothes as feminine, I have no male pants, vests, nightwear, most of my woolens are girls
Sadly my hair is short but even so I could style it Fem
I would love to have my ears pierced but haven't do so (yet/ever)
I use fem deodorants
I don't have fem shoes yet
I use a lot of femme shirts & tops even when dressed as male
I often use femme slacks

I am making good progress!