Maybe ready?

[Julia]

I was thinking about sharing with my spouse , I think she might be more receptive now that the kids are out of the home, When ever I have shared something that might be considered different about me ,I have done it in an intiminte setting and it has gone fairly well, plus I don't think it will come as a total shock, I have worn lots of women's slacks and tops, that seem to pass the most part for men's, she did see some computer history for this site, she asked me but did not fly off the handle or anything. I wear padded panties quite a bit, and she made a comment about those pants make you looking you have a bubble butt, " Are you hiding something underneath there" with a half hearted smile, I have been shaving all over for nearly 4 years now, she has never really batted an eye, She asked if I opened up the women's body lotion and scent that was left here as an exchange gift for Christmas that no one wanted, The biggest obstacle would be her Mom is living with us, at 86 years old , any ideas or thoughts from any of you?

[DonnaT]

What did you say when asked about the women's body lotion and scent? If you were truthful, then you may be ok being more open about dressing.

As for her mom, either she'll be ok with it or it may be one of those things that need to be compromised about.

[Julia]

I was truthful, I said I opened it and used it, it has-been there since Christmas, our daughter uses her own stuff and she got the gift and left it, it was white elephant gift, I knew no one Would use it , so I did , my wife was fine with me using it

[Davita]

Body lotion is different than perfume; the lotion has a practical use especially in the dry winter air. I hope it actually smells good on you; I can't wear just any scent.

As for Mom? I have no solution, Ro would have never let me come out to her mom and that was going to simply be hell for me. She had moved in with us for all of a week for the to-be-permanent move. I am not in the closet to anyone but my in-laws and a few others that Ro would simply die over. Making me return to prison would probably have been pretty detrimental to our marriage. If you struggle now wait until the prison gets stricter. If your better half starts throwing up barriers like you can no longer wear the lotion... All I can do is give you a shoulder to cry on.

[DonnaT]

I was truthful, I said I opened it and used it, it has-been there since Christmas, our daughter uses her own stuff and she got the gift and left it, it was white elephant gift, I knew no one Would use it , so I did , my wife was fine with me using it

In my eyes, that's and excuse, not the truth, apparently, like "I wanted to feel it and smell like it. It just called out to me to try it, and enjoy it."

[Julia]

You made your point. Yours is the truth

[Kelly]

Well Julia, it is a crap shoot.

Read the archives here and you'll see results all over the map. Some have found Yea, I knew all along, immediate acceptance, delayed acceptance, passive-regressive acceptance, passive-regressive rejection, initial tolerance followed by rejection, strict boundaries, out right rejection, this is the end of our relationship, and just about every point in between.

Your are spinning the wheel; and don't know where it will stop. High Risk, High Reward. For the record, I have not spun the wheel (I have my reasons, but they aren't relevant here). So take what I tell you with a grain of salt.

Having said all that, it appears - based on what you have shared, or which may be accurate or just your perception of accuracy - that the odds are tilted in your favor. If a bubble butt doesn't cause turmoil, initial indications suggest that the chances of acceptance/tolerance are more favorable than for most.

Your mother in law being in residence it a wrinkle; check that - a complication. An independent choice has to be made on that front. I've said this many times in this forum, once you have come out of the closet to just immediate family all you have done is make the closet more crowded.

Ultimately I can't properly advise you. Nor can anyone in the Haven. It is your choice, your risk, your consequences, or it is your reward .

As the knight said, "choose wisely"

Kelly.

[Eileen (SO)]

Julia,

You keep missing 'Golden Opportunities' to fess up. Your wife does not suspect, she knows something is going on, especially with this forum on the computer history. Perhaps she thinks you're either just experimenting or wanting to transition al la Bruce Jenner. She has questions but afraid to ask, not wanting to embarrass you.
Your behavior has not been very secretive in the first place. Open up and be honest, I think the chance of her acceptance is very good, within her limits.

Eileen