Somewhat conflicted / confused

[Shelby]

As you may know by now I have just recently allowed myself to explore my fascination with cross dressing and, thanks to a wonderfully understanding wife, am having a blast. I have a long way to go and a lot to learn but, my wife and I are enjoying the exploration together.

Here is where the conflict comes in; for nearly 30+ years I have been going to the gym and, before I allowed myself to openly admit my desire to explore CD, my goal was to lift hard and heavy and get as big and bulked up as I could (naturally; no steroids).
Now, 30 some years later, age and my work out routines have taken their toll on my body and I can no longer lift as heavy as I once did but, when I go to the gym, that drive is still there.

This is kind of counter productive to my goal of wanting to pass as a woman when dressed up. I mean even today I have large shoulders and pretty big arms. I seem to recall that Eileen's husband used to be a gymnast; did he abandon his workout routines once he embraced his desire to cross dress or did he simply adjust his exercise program?

Working out makes me feel good but, I don't want to sabotage my other life; not sure how to handle this and looking for suggestions from those of you who may have struggled with a similar situation.

[Anthony Simon]

I cycle - which gives me a workout but doesn't build upper body mass. On the other hand Grae Phillips, who made an exceptionally passable women used "bench-pressing" (whatever that is) to build up torso muscles, which could be use to help create the illusion of cleavage , without seemingly producing particularly heavy shoulders.

[DonnaT]

In my advanced years (61) I find my strength to be more important than the size of my shoulder and arms when dressing.

Problem is, after over 50 years of swimming, my rotator cuffs have worn out (surgery did not help), and with some recent injuries my strength ain't what it use to be. And I miss it.

My advice, don't worry so much about looks. Your health is more important.

[Eileen (SO)]

Good recall, Keay! My husband worked at the pommel horse for a few years in High School. He also ran cross country and several 10K runs in his 30's and 40's. I'm not sure how much exercise can affect your body shape over genetics, try as he may, weight training never built much muscle mass. He's not terribly thin nor bulky, he does have nice size shoulders to lean on and long arms for embracing.

He wasn't able to fully explore his feminine side till his 50's, long past regular exercise routines. While his arms are not big muscular they show too much definition for a woman. Same with shoulders, and his clavicle tapers from the neck out, not flat like most women. She can't shoulder carry a purse. So, she prefers 3/4 length sleeves and looser fitting blouses (hides his beer storage tank!)

Men's fashion choices are pretty much the same. Women can choose outfits that hide flaws (some) and accentuate her assets. CD's, especially those inexperienced, tend to dress like their fantasy girlfriend and not for the body they have. As every woman knows, not everyone gets to wear what fashion models can.

Your lovely wife should be able to help choose clothing for your body type. Hubby and I both catalog shop from the big girl brands. Because of our body shapes, separates fit better than dresses. A nice shell with a cardigan gives you full coverage without feeling too hot to wear. Guys sweat more. Separates also allow more mixing of tops and bottoms. You may not achieve the perfect look you crave, good enough to pass as a woman in public should suffice.

Have fun shopping, Keay!

Eileen