THE OFFICIAL: Blonde Jokes Thread

[CharLee]

A guy buys his blonde girlfriend her first I - phone for her birthday. He explains all the features of the phone to her.

The next day while she is out her phone rings, she answers it and it's her boyfriend. He asks her how she likes her new phone. She tells him that she loves it but has one question for him. he asks what is the question ? She says " How did you know I was shopping at Wal - Mart ?

[DanaJaye]

Two blonde girls were out for a drive when the car got a puncture. Stopping a passer by who was walking his dog they asked what they were supposed to do to get it fixed. The guy told them that the exhaust pipe was where you blew the tyres up from and all they had to do was keep blowing up the pipe to reinflate the flat tyre. For twenty minutes they tried to blow the tyre up before one said to the other, 'hang on a minute, i think i just realised something, we still have the windows rolled down, its never going to work til we close them'.

[Diana Michelle]

Dana Jaye, that reminds me about a variation on that one.

Why did the blond fail as a terrorist?

Because she kept burning her mouth on the tailpipe while trying to blow up the bus!

[Debbie Jean]

This certain blonde was doing a little distracted driving. She was knitting an afghan as she drove along the interstate. When she got pulled over, the cop said that he wanted to conduct a field sobriety test. She said: "But officer, I haven't been drinking, what makes you think that I was?" He told her that she had been weaving. She held up the afghan with knitting needles still attached and said: "No officer, I haven't been weaving. This is an afghan that I have here, and I've been knitting it not weaving it."

Let's hope that the above account is fictitious.

Thanks for reading
Deb

[Heather W]

A blonde was talking with her brunette friend and complaining that her boyfriend had terrible dandruff.

"You need to give him some Head and Shoulders" the brunette told her.

The blonde thought about it for a second than asked "How do you give shoulders?"

[Gina L.]

Why do blondes love boob jobs?

It's the only job they are qualified for.

[Diana Michelle]

2 Blondes are sitting on a bench in the moonlight.

"Which do you think is closer, Florida or the moon?" one asks

"Duh! You can't see Florida from here!"

[Diana Michelle]

Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a creek looking at each other.

"How do I get to the other side of the creek?" one asks

"Duh! You're already there!"