One day Jesus and Moses were having a leisurely round of golf in heaven when they came to the 14th hole, a 175 yard par 3 with a pond that reached from tee to green.
"What do you think Tiger Woods would hit here?" Jesus asked Moses.
"He would probably hit an 8 iron my lord but you should hit a 5 iron," Moses replied.
"Nonsense," Jesus smiled.
Jesus went to his bag and pulled out his 8 iron, teed the ball up and proceeded to hit the ball straight into the pond. Not to be denied Jesus walked out across the pond, retrieved his ball, and proceeded to the same thing on the next attempt. Again Jesus walked out and proceeded to do the exact thing on his 3rd try. Over and over Jesus repeated his actions of hitting the ball into the pond, walking out to retrieve the ball and try again.
By now the golf course was starting to back with several groups waiting to play as Jesus continued his quest. Finally from the back of the crowd some one asked what was going on?
"Someone on the tee is trying to hit an 8 iron over the pond," some one answered.
"An 8 iron!" The first golfer exclaimed, "Who the hell does think he is? Jesus Christ?"
Upon hearing this Moses smiled, "He is Jesus Christ, he thinks he is Tiger Woods."
Golf in Heaven
Moderator: KimberlyS
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Diana Michelle
- Miss Ruby Goddess
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Golf in Heaven
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did only she did it backwards and in high heels!
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
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Eileen (SO)
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Re: Golf in Heaven
Even Tiger Woods can't walk across the pond to retrieve a ball.
Good one!
Eileen
Good one!
Eileen
Not only a wife, a girlfriend too!
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Robbie
- Miss Crystal Goddess
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Re: Golf in Heaven
My favorite golf in heaven story:
God, Gabriel, and Moses agree to a morning threesome on the links.
At the first tee, Gabriel pulls out a Ruby headed driver w/ small pure gold nuggets at the screws, tees up a perfect pearl ball and "smack" drives straight down the fairway 325 yards.
Not to be outdone, Moses pulls out a pure gold headed driver with diamonds in the screws. He tees up a massive diamond ball and wallops a perfect drive 350 yards and in the center of the fairway.
God, nods approvingly and pulls out an old wooden headed driver, w/ wooden shaft and frayed grips. His ball is an old smiley and after locating a broken tee, slices the antique 100 yards long and 50 yards to the right where it strikes a rock and bounces back to center fairway. As the ball comes to a rest an eagle swoops out of the sky, picks up the ball and drops it on the green just inches from the cup.
Moses gives Gabriel a knowing glance, Looks at God and says, "Cut the crap, God. We're playing for money".
God, Gabriel, and Moses agree to a morning threesome on the links.
At the first tee, Gabriel pulls out a Ruby headed driver w/ small pure gold nuggets at the screws, tees up a perfect pearl ball and "smack" drives straight down the fairway 325 yards.
Not to be outdone, Moses pulls out a pure gold headed driver with diamonds in the screws. He tees up a massive diamond ball and wallops a perfect drive 350 yards and in the center of the fairway.
God, nods approvingly and pulls out an old wooden headed driver, w/ wooden shaft and frayed grips. His ball is an old smiley and after locating a broken tee, slices the antique 100 yards long and 50 yards to the right where it strikes a rock and bounces back to center fairway. As the ball comes to a rest an eagle swoops out of the sky, picks up the ball and drops it on the green just inches from the cup.
Moses gives Gabriel a knowing glance, Looks at God and says, "Cut the crap, God. We're playing for money".