Since April is the mornal tax fileing deadline in the US, I thought some of these might be appreciated.
Tax Jokes and Quotes
The duty to pay taxes can bring a headache to even the most prepared person. Following are a few tax jokes and quotes to give your a laugh.
"You must pay taxes. But there's no law that says you gotta leave a tip."
-- Advertisement
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
-- D. Barry
"f the IRS took 100 taxpayers at random and sent each an incorrect notice that they owed an extra $92.35 in taxes and interest, more than two-thirds would probably just send in a check without investigating further."
-- G. Guttman
"Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery."
-- Calvin Coolidge
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax."
-- Albert Einstein
"I want to find out who this FICA guy is and how come he's taking so much of my money."
-- Professional Hockey Player
"It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."
-- Anonymous
"The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."
-- Sam Ewing
" [Suggested simplified tax form:] How much money did you make last year? Mail it in."
-- Stanton Delaplane
"If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead -- if you strike oil."
-- J. Paul Getty
"Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension."
-- Anonymous
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."
-- Herbert Hoover
"What Mae West said about sex is true about taxes. All tax cuts are good tax cuts; even bad tax cuts are good tax cuts."
-- Grover Norquist
"I love America, but I can't spend the whole year here. I can't afford the taxes."
-- Mick Jagger
" [The federal income tax system is] a disgrace to the human race."
-- Jimmy Carter
"Abracadabra, thus we learn the more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you're given, the less you lead, the more you're driven, the more destroyed, the more they feed, the more you pay, the more they need, the more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, if the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake."
-- Ogden Nash
"People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women."
-- Anonymous
"I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes . . ."
-- Mark Twain
"There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure."
-- Dan Bennett
"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
-- Comedian
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."
-- Will Rogers
"On my income tax [Form] 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away."
-- Tom Lehrer
"You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified," which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last names. . . . The IRS wants you to use the short form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form."
-- Comedian
"My company [i.e., AT&T] fills out 39,000 tax forms a year; that's one every three and a half minutes."
-- Michael Armstrong
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
-- Jay Leno
Leeza
Taxes
Moderator: KimberlyS