Is this Normal?

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

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DaniJean
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Is this Normal?

Post by DaniJean »

Up until now I've been very deep in the closet, however I have been increasingly more bold in my feminine adventures and just love being a girl. I have bought a wig, some outfits, more women's underwear, padded panties, and made breast forms from rice and pantyhose. I love the feeling of tight shapewear and have gone out in publics presenting as a woman several times, each time getting more bold. I've tried on and bought women's clothes, used the ladies room, and have become close friends with a man who I very much enjoy flirting and making out with. For the last month and a half we usually meet once or twice a week. We have coffee, go shopping, hold hands and always end up making out!! I love being with him and told him I want him to have sex with me.

I guess at this point I am confused. What is going on with me? Is it normal to enjoy being a girl so much? I'm going to continue enjoying this experience, I am just confused as to where it will lead and what it means?

Thanks for any advice or suggestions
Dani
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DonnaT
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by DonnaT »

DaniJean wrote: I am just confused as to where it will lead and what it means?
No one can forecast the future. All you can do is make choices you are comfortable with.

Does it have to mean anything?

Everyone has a different opinion of what is normal. What you do is normal for you, and others as well.
DonnaT
ArleneMcCarthy
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by ArleneMcCarthy »

Being in female attire 24/7 for me is as normal as can be.
Proud LGBT Supporter. I live 24/7 as a non-transitioned woman.ArleneRaquel - My lifestyle is very important to me & I love it and I love the opportunity to meet fellow CD's, & LGBT folks.
Kelly
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Kelly »

Ah, Dani,

There ain't no normal here. Just read a couple of years worth of posts and you will see every one of us is as unique as her own snowflake.

But guess what, there ain't no normal outside of here either. There really ain't no such thing as normal. It is just a comforting figment of the imagination. So your just fine on the normal front.

As far as suggestions and advise, well here goes; but remember this comes from someone claiming to be conflicted and confused, so take it with a grain of salt. (i'm feeling 'rational' tonight :) ).

As the saying goes, if your not hurting anyone and not breaking any laws, your ok, have fun. So ask yourself are you hurting anyone? Specifically, are you hurting your boyfriend? Maybe, Maybe not.

Having a fantasy, is one thing. As long as it stays that way, fine. If it doen't, then what? Well, he is in for one big surprise. Don't know what that would result in. Could turn out ok, odds favor it wouldn't. Then what? All I'm saying here is to think about these things. The important thing is what you think and feel.

Life is all about the journey, not the destination. Enjoy your journey. Just be a careful traveler.

Love,
Kelly.
I thought a CD was something you stuck in a computer
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Carol Esme
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Carol Esme »

There's absolutely nothing wrong in what you are doing, providing nobody else is hurt. I just hope that all this "out of the closet and really into it" happened over a longer time frame than your post implies. There is a concept known as "the pink fog" which hits most of us as we come out and can lead to wild risk taking. Take a breath or two and check that you are confident that you are ready for the next step.
Carol
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Erica S
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Erica S »

DaniJean,

I guess my sisters are right. Does this guy know about you and is he ok with it. I would hate to read about you after you got hurt. Take it slow and have fun.

Hugs,

Erica
If the woman inside of you needs to be free, let it happen, and you can soar.
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Absaroka
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Absaroka »

It's probably not normal, but who really cares? I think rather than worrying about some concept of normality you concentrate on treating yourself and your partners with respect, and just see what happens.
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Paulette
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Paulette »

As I said in another thread, go see the movie "Kinsey."

All mammals occasionally, and sometimes quite often or even preferentially, adopt sexual roles other than that matching their sexual organs. So it is normal. It's just not what most do most of the time, whether people or other mammals. We are the only mammals who signify their sexuality with clothing, so clothing becomes part of the sex life of some of us, too.

I don't know if other species have a concept of sexual roles rather than simply of sex. When one of my male cats humps the other male cat, do either of them think or fantasize of themselves as a female cat? I seriously doubt it. My best guess is that they think of it (and I assume they do think, though not in the same way we do) as "fun." Like humans, I've noticed that a few cats and dogs have preferences for the same sex in their partner as themselves. If it was part of their sex lives to dress in sex-appropriate clothing, they might even cross dress. Who knows?

In the movie Kinsey, as in life, the really important questions about sex between two (or more) people had to do with honesty, loyalty, and responsibility.

- Truthfulness and transparency is essential, especially in committed relationships and whether monogamous or polyamorous.

- If we are not to seriously hurt our partners we must have a prior agreement with them about boundaries and loyalty. (In poly relationships this is referred to as being one's primary partner or who one is primarily committed to - one always asks one's primary before engaging sexually with anyone else, and if they say "no," you simply don't go there. Violating this is the equivalent of divorce.)

- Responsibility is simply being responsible for one's actions according to the moral, ethical, and religious guidelines of everyone involved - not just your own guidelines. (Children are not responsible parties and therefore cannot give consent, though what constitutes childhood varies among cultures and times.)

Always keep in mind that your emotional attachments may not be the same as your partner's. For example, both my wife and I have experience with polygamous relationships, and are quite familiar with the concepts I've outlined above. Yet neither of us feels that at this point in our marriage (two years) that we are emotionally secure enough to gracefully handle the difficulties of balancing and attending to the physical and emotional needs of another partner, our own or each other's. Just as importantly, our lives are quite full now, and the additional scheduling and apportionment of time and attention is more than either of us is willing to deal with, so we remain functionally mono in a poly marriage. It's just easier.

So how you behave is probably more important than the particular kind of behavior you do, or who you do it with. And this applies whether you are simply an occasional cross-dresser, in transition between sexes, anywhere on the trans spectrum, or comfortably established in a sexual and social role not commensurate with one's birth sex.

And as has been said here, full disclosure to a potential partner is essential for your physical as well as emotional safety.

Now go out and play! *-*
~ Paulette
~ just lucky, I guess.
Ralitsa
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Ralitsa »

my 11yo daughter told me a little while back that it's not good to be normal. She decided that normal is boring and anybody can be normal. So it's a lot better to be weird.
Well I think this is a healthy defense against all the peer pressure (and kids aren't the only ones subject to that), and of course I'm pretty weird myself, so I agreed with her. Of course the potentially dangerous thing about that is the rest of the world doesn't agree with that idea and has been known to get violent about it.
So don't worry about normal.
Kittie
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Kittie »

DaniJean wrote:love the feeling of tight shapewear and have gone out in publics presenting as a woman several times, each time getting more bold. I've tried on and bought women's clothes, used the ladies room, and have become close friends with a man who I very much enjoy flirting and making out with. For the last month and a half we usually meet once or twice a week. We have coffee, go shopping, hold hands and always end up making out!! I love being with him and told him I want him to have sex with me.
I think you are going a little too far.

Does the man know what you are
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DonnaT
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by DonnaT »

Kittie, the term "what" (like "it") can be demeaning, when speaking about -who- a person may be!
DonnaT
Marissa Mae
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Marissa Mae »

You know, I think "normal" is greatly overvalued.

Granted we have to pay close attention to "normal," because it is widely enforced and can suddenly bop us on the head.

Nevertheless there's nothing inherently better about the norm, or the average. People everywhere live so differently, some of them wildly so, and they're every bit as valid as the "regular guys and gals."

With the Net, a lot of us are finding out about a lot of others who don't resemble "normal" in the least. So this era has a real chance of widening people's perspectives.

Maybe the "new normal" is going to turn out to be "abnormal." If so, whoopee!

Love, Marissa Mae
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Ms. Erin
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Re: Is this Normal?

Post by Ms. Erin »

We are all normal. This kind of reminds me when my doctor asked how I feel when I came out. I told her I was to much focusing on acting, behaving and responding like a woman. Until I stopped thinking about it and acted like myself. Now I am always just being myself, anything makes more sense and feels right, and the doctor agreed and said that's all that matters, being your self.

And normal in one country is not so normal in another country, it's just what society makes us believe, as soon as one stands out the crowed, it's not normal? Oh no girlfriend. :)

Like my daughter told me in Europe it's so much more accepted and "normal" then here in the USA. But I bet some of the man that stair at me, might be jealous. :lol:
I am a woman of trans experience.
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