Why Crossdressers?

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

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Shauna_M
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Why Crossdressers?

Post by Shauna_M »

Hi all,
It is amazing why there is remarkable similarities between crossdressers. I've been thinking long about this and some questions which keep tickling my mind;
1. Is there a genetic component for crossdressing? ( not talking about gender identity). I haven't heard of any genes but do some of us know of clustering of cases with in some families?
2. Are most crossdressers are tender and soft and loving people? Is it because of their feminine feelings?
3. Do most crossdressers like satin and silk ( please take satin and silk as separate fabrics not same)?
4. If yes to question 4, then why?
5. Do most crossdressers like shiny and soft garments? if yes, why?
6. Why for most crossdressers, the first target is garments of their mother or sister? Is it because the house we live in and accessibility?
7. Why for most crossdressers there is always excitement linked with getting caught to the extent that later will find ways to get caught? If agree to this, do we agree that getting caught is linked with further sexual excitement? If yes, why?
8. Do most crossdressers start from rubbing with feminine garments? if yes, is it because of achieving sexual orgasm?
9. Are there any crossdressers who have not started with sexual orgasm with female garments and never had sexual orgasm in women's garments/clothes/undergarments? I do know from lovely stories from this forum, that some might have started earlier, but one is capable of orgasm in teenage yrs.
10. I know not every cd wants to be physically a woman but do all crossdressers have fascination to be a woman at least during the time when wearing women's clothes?
11. Do all cds wish to be called feminine names outside this forum as well even though it might not be possible in reality taking into consideration the family and the social circumstances?
12. Do for all crossdressers when they see a beautiful, shiny silk or satin garment on a person, the first idea that comes to the mind is to love the person or the garment the person is wearing?
13. Do all crossdressers wish to have a dominant partner in day to day life and in bed? If yes, why?
14. Do all crossdressers go through purging and restarting and finally surrendering?
15. This question is not bound to be answered but i'm including it with all good faith. I do see it as a very important question and its effect on crossdressing. Do we as crossdressers relate our crossdressing to some sort of sexual or abuse in childhood? If yes, is there a fascination for most of us for the childhood sexual abuse to be repeated? Why the response as in becoming crossdresser is so similar among all cds?
16. Do some crossdressers relate crossdressing to social abuse if not sexual?


At the age of 34 that i'm now, it will be fascinating to know comments from fellow crossdressers especially the experienced ones. Comments on the questions will be highly appreciated.
If there is yes to all or most of the above questions, what is that that makes all of us so similar? Does that make us think that there is a gene or genes responsible for these characteristics that are so similar among all cds? Is this a response to social misuse as childhood? Why response is so similar?
Why crossdressers are not as loud and distinct and not vigorously recognized as heterosexuals or gays?
I welcome participation from all.
Regards,
Shauna
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Zephyr Lily
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Zephyr Lily »

Wow Shauna,
Are you a Psychologist or something, why do I feel as though I am about to write an exam @33@

1. Yes, I believe Cds are born with extra female chromosomes.
2. Yes,
3. No, at least not in my case.
4. N/A
5. No, at least not in my case.
6. I don't have a sister, in my case it was my mother.
7. I did not want to get caught, but I did and to save further embarrassment I dress full time now.
8. I don't remember rubbing myself as you put it, I felt good wearing female attire but not for sexual release.
9. Not me.
10. Still working on the full time as a woman thingy.
11. Yes.
12. Never really thought about it.
13. No. I am the dominant one.
14. Yes.
15. Not in my case.
16. No.

I have a question Shauna, you seem fixated on satin and silk, would you say it was a fetish with you.??


zephyr


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Hope
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Hope »

I'm afraid I won't be as organized as Zephyr, but....

I started my fascination around age 3 or 4. I suspect it was when I began to wonder why some of my friends wore pants, and others wore dresses with pretty underskirts (petticoats). Somewhere along the line, I discovered my Mother's undergarments were smooth and 'silky' feeling and wondered why mine weren't?

My best friend back then lived across the street from me and we played all the time. She was always wearing dresses with very full and poufy skirts and her petticoat made such a wonderful noise whenever she moved. I often wondered what it might be like to be dressed as she was.

Later, girls wore beautiful dresses in church and at formal dances. Of course then, the skirts were satin or Taffeta and, as in my earlier recollections, made such glorious sounds!

I had rare chances to fashion some sort of skirt and petticoat as a youngster and no, it never resulted in any orgasm or sexual thrill, it was just....wonderful? Pretending? Enjoying? Well, not really of course, because even at a young age I knew it was a forbidden fruit to me as a boy. Still, it was exciting and at least for brief moments, it was an answer to many late night prayers.

I grew up with two older brothers and, until I was sort of off on my own, didn't have the opportunity to really explore my, by that time, life-long passion. I have always wondered WHY! It's caused no end of heartache and misery, and yet it draws me so tightly I can't escape. Yes I've purged many times. Always when I reach a point of such shame that I can't seem to shake it and I vow to get rid of it all and just be a man! Of course....that hasn't worked.

And at long last, with the help and understanding of a wonderful wife and life partner, I have come to accept...it just is. There is no real explaining it. There is no psychological root to it. And now I understand....I'm not alone. Up to 10% of the male population is 'afflicted' with the same burning desire and are drawn to momentary glimpses into what might have been if we had been born female.

No...I don't want to be female. I do want the perceived benefits! I love the clothes. I love working magic with makeup. I thoroughly enjoy taking up to 2 month long 'vacations' from being the man of the house and tending to my wife and her needs. She gets a vacation from the responsibility of housework, cooking, sewing, and all the generally accepted feminine tasks that I so enjoy doing as a change from the drudgery of manual labor around the yard and home.

I many never know why. I may never really be at ease with my feminine side. And I know most of the rest of the world will never quite get it. But....it just is.
Shauna_M
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Shauna_M »

Hi Zephyr Lily,
I'm not a psychologist :) but all of them my personal observations. Yes I do believe I have satin fetish but how can we separate fetishism from cross dressing. I believe they go hand in hand.
Regards
Shauna_M
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Shauna_M »

Hi Hope,
You raised this important point, the swishing sound of satin. Yes this has always been very attractive for me. When I hear this sound from somebody passing close by, it used to be such a turn on and still is very fascinating. Thanks for mentioning. I should have added it to list of questions. :)
Regards
Kelly
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Kelly »

Yea, wow. I'll try to 'take the exam' as well. Might have to use the save draft function to get through it......

1. No, I don't know of any familial clustering. If you read any of the web available descriptions of GID it mentions genetics as a possible contributor, but don't go into specifics.

2. Can't talk about the community in general, but can talk about myself. I think I am tender, soft, and loving. Though some of the love is in the tough form.....

3.Yes, I like satin and silk.

4. huh? If you mean answer to three, then I don't know for sure. Found a satin pillow slip in the house when I was a teenager and immediately claimed it as my own. It went to college and graduate school with me until it, sadly, was beyond thread bare.

5. Soft yes, shiny not so sure. Don't have a clue why, other than soft feels better than rough.

6. Neither. Did play dress up in both parents cloths; but what kid doesn't.

7. Have actually no desire to be caught. In fact live in mortal fear of being caught. So sexual component.

8. Again, no rubbing. No orgasm. Arousal, yes somtimes, but it was always unwanted as it killed the effect of being femme.

9. Didn't start as teenager.

10. Yes, the fascination happens.

11. No really. Oddly, my femme name that I use is slightly acrogenous. As is a nickname I favor in the realworld.

12. The garment.

13. Briefly, Sometimes. And when those sometimes happen it is intense. Occasionally it is stress related, mostly though it is out of curiosity.

14. Not, me. I have never accumulated (sadly) enough to purge. Don't know what would have happened if there were a stash.

15. Nope.

16. Nope.

There are some 'extra credit' questions at the end. I'll tackle the 'loud and distinct' question. If you have read "Freakecomics" then you will understand the short answer: There is not enough benefit to be gained for the effort and pain of being loud. Simple as that.

Long answer: Society in general does not yet recognize or understand that gender identity is distinct from physical gender, or from homosexuality. Nor does it understand that gender identity is continuously variable as oppose to being firmly binary. Until that understanding reigns groupthink, bigotry, and fear of what is different will cast every CD, TS, and TG at a disadvantage career wise, social wise. Now I am speaking generally here, there are anecdotal counter examples. Maybe these are the beginnings of understanding, time will tell. But I'm betting that it will be a long time till we know. One just has to read the vitriol in the comments section of some internet site that happens to report on an individual expressing their true gender feelings. Its still pretty ugly out there. And while it is ugly, it is best to stay in the closet, earn a living, support a family, make a difference in the world and wear pretty cloths under the radar. There are other, probably bigger, fights to fight.

Kelly
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Gillian
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Gillian »

I would be prone to think that you have abit of a fetish towards satin, silk, and nylon, those soft tactile fabrics that lingerie is so often made from. The question was raised, "but how can we separate fetishism from cross dressing", and that is an interesting question. I would say that it all depends on the individual. You can read of many who made a transition from CDing being a sexual thing, to something more akin to having a dress up time. I can only speak for myself, and say for most of my life CDing has been a very sexual thing. It has only been in the last 5 or so years that it has been moving into a new arena. Is it still sexual, sometimes, and often it is just a way to relax and let the cares of the world melt away.

I think that fetishism gets a bad rap sometimes. Having a fixation on something it not that unusual with a lot of people. If there is any problem with a fetish, it is when a person can not perform/live without it! Could fetishes and OCD have a similar root, maybe, I find that society thinks obsessing about one thing is odd, but about another is sick. So who makes up the rules? Most CD'ers have already been placed into the fetishism category by the worlds head shrinkers, so be careful who you talk to about your little "hobby".

You ask many questions, you will get many different answers. If I had one thing that I would like to see, it is this, to have someone in the psych field to some good solid research into CDing. It would have to be approached carefully in an unbiased way. The problem is, how do you get those buried deep in the closet to come out long enough to record there information for the study.


To answer your questions:
1. not in my case
2. most men tend to hide their true feelings
3. I do
4. Tactile experience
5. I do, see #4
6. yes in my case
7. It's called an endorphin rush
8. probably
9. I didn't
10. depends
11. never
12. thegarment
13. no
14. yes I did
15. my start was at the age of 4 and it was a form of punishment. This type of punishment lasted until some where around 10 or 11. The punishment consisted of being dressed in panties and sometimes other girls clothes. A more important question is why did I go back to it of my own free will around the age of 13?
16. don't know

If this is of any help to you, then good.
So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of there labor, for these are gifts from God.
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Paulette
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Paulette »

I'm bored, so I'll answer your questions.

1. Is there a genetic component for crossdressing? ( not talking about gender identity). I haven't heard of any genes but do some of us know of clustering of cases with in some families?

There are small areas of crossdresser's brains whose activity is similar to those of the opposite sex. Other small areas are similar to those with OCD. This is not necessarily heritable, and children commonly emulate behavior patterns of their parents. (I know of one instance of 3 generations of CDs, but only one.)

2. Are most crossdressers are tender and soft and loving people? Is it because of their feminine feelings?

No more so than the general population.

3. Do most crossdressers like satin and silk ( please take satin and silk as separate fabrics not same)?

I like both and enjoy their differences. YMMV

4. If yes to question 4 [3], then why?

They are the most sensually distinct fabrics used in female clothing.

5. Do most crossdressers like shiny and soft garments? if yes, why?

I have no idea. I don't necessarily prefer them.

6. Why for most crossdressers, the first target is garments of their mother or sister? Is it because the house we live in and accessibility?

DK. Yes, no, maybe.

7. Why for most crossdressers there is always excitement linked with getting caught to the extent that later will find ways to get caught? If agree to this, do we agree that getting caught is linked with further sexual excitement? If yes, why?

For me it was excitement at the risk of being caught. Actually being caught was terribly humiliating.

8. Do most crossdressers start from rubbing with feminine garments? if yes, is it because of achieving sexual orgasm?

Many do. Distinguish sensuality from sexuality. Some do; some don't.

9. Are there any crossdressers who have not started with sexual orgasm with female garments and never had sexual orgasm in women's garments/clothes/undergarments? I do know from lovely stories frohis forum, that some might have started earlier, but one is capable of orgasm in teenage yrs.

Depends on whom you talk to. SL seems to think so. I think you'll get different answers from those with very early and strong gender dysphoria vs. those who had no femm feelings until encountering/wearring female clothing. I don't believe female crossdressers have quite the same pattern.

10. I know not every cd wants to be physically a woman but do all crossdressers have fascination to be a woman at least during the time when wearing women's clothes?

See #9.

11. Do all cds wish to be called feminine names outside this forum as well even though it might not be possible in reality taking into consideration the family and the social circumstances?

No.

12. Do for all crossdressers when they see a beautiful, shiny silk or satin garment on a person, the first idea that comes to the mind is to love the person or the garment the person is wearing?

The garment only. If I am attracted to a woman it usually doesn't matter what she's wearing, unless it indicates she has rotten taste.

13. Do all crossdressers wish to have a dominant partner in day to day life and in bed? If yes, why?
14. Do all crossdressers go through purging and restarting and finally surrendering?

All? Of course not.

15. This question is not bound to be answered but i'm including it with all good faith. I do see it as a very important question and its effect on crossdressing. Do we as crossdressers relate our crossdressing to some sort of sexual or abuse in childhood? If yes, is there a fascination for most of us for the childhood sexual abuse to be repeated? Why the response as in becoming crossdresser is so similar among all cds?

Yes, no, maybe.

16. Do some crossdressers relate crossdressing to social abuse if not sexual?

DK.
~ Paulette
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by SilverLady(SO) »

Paulette wrote:9. Are there any crossdressers who have not started with sexual orgasm with female garments and never had sexual orgasm in women's garments/clothes/undergarments? I do know from lovely stories frohis forum, that some might have started earlier, but one is capable of orgasm in teenage yrs.

Depends on whom you talk to. SL seems to think so. I think you'll get different answers from those with very early and strong gender disphoria and those who had no femm feelings until encountering/wearring female clothing.
Well, since you mentioned my name I will respond to this portion.

Not every CD/TG has 'sexual orgasms with female garments' - and many 'never had sexual orgasm in women's garments/clothes/undergarments'. :no:

There are quite a few CD/TG for whom it is not a 'sexual thing' - meaning they don't get sexually aroused when dressed as a female . . . they dress in female attire simply because it's who they are. Period.


- SL
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Carol Ann
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Carol Ann »

=D> Thank you SL as that's how I feel and am. (--)
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by SilverLady(SO) »

Hi, Carol Ann -

You are very welcome, girlfriend!! :coffee:


- SL
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Shauna_M
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Shauna_M »

There are small areas of crossdresser's brains whose activity is similar to those of the opposite sex. Other small areas are similar to those with OCD.



Hi Paulette,
Do you know any studies which say what you have said?If yes, I would like to know about them and if you could tell me how to find them? I find it very interesting to read this that some areas of crossdressers brain activity is similar to opposite sex. Appreciate your input.
Regards
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Paulette
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Paulette »

Hi Shauna,

Sorry I was so long in getting back to you on this. I don't know where I first came across this, but you can find a large number of articles and references simply by searching on phrases like "similarity of brain patterns across genders." If that question really interests you, you've probably already researched it.

The thing to remember is that brains are brains. Their size, activity, responsiveness, and so on, are similar. There are more similarities than differences along any measure of any kind. So it's unlikely that you'll find absolute confirmation of whatever you're looking for in brain patterns. But you will find correlations or clusters of similarities. Speculation about what these mean are just that: speculations.


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL
~ Paulette
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Vera »

1. Is there a genetic component for crossdressing? ( not talking about gender identity). I haven't heard of any genes but do some of us know of clustering of cases with in some families?

Not sure but have felt the need to dress since young

2. Are most crossdressers are tender and soft and loving people? Is it because of their feminine feelings?

I like people and want people to get along and those around me want to feel loved

3. Do most crossdressers like satin and silk ( please take satin and silk as separate fabrics not same)?

I love satin, silk, nylon, and rayon

4. If yes to question 4, then why?

I feels good next to my body

5. Do most crossdressers like shiny and soft garments? if yes, why?

Yes I do see #4

6. Why for most crossdressers, the first target is garments of their mother or sister? Is it because the house we live in and accessibility?

Sisters and mom would dress me as a young child, in their hand me downs, then take me out shopping. Soon they taught me how to shop for own.

7. Why for most crossdressers there is always excitement linked with getting caught to the extent that later will find ways to get caught? If agree to this, do we
agree that getting caught is linked with further sexual excitement? If yes, why?

I could care less about being caught, no excitement to it.

8. Do most crossdressers start from rubbing with feminine garments? if yes, is it because of achieving sexual orgasm?

I was taught this was a norm not a sexual treat.

9. Are there any crossdressers who have not started with sexual orgasm with female garments and never had sexual orgasm in women's garments/clothes/undergarments? I do know from lovely stories from this forum, that some might have started earlier, but one is capable of orgasm in teenage yrs.

As a teenager I just enjoyed dressing, and wished I could live dressed this way

10. I know not every cd wants to be physically a woman but do all crossdressers have fascination to be a woman at least during the time when wearing women's clothes?

Yes I want to be a woman when dressed, I dress most of the time but think of my body as a woman's body

11. Do all cds wish to be called feminine names outside this forum as well even though it might not be possible in reality taking into consideration the family and the social circumstances?

I have credit cards in both names, to be used as how I am dressed.

12. Do for all crossdressers when they see a beautiful, shiny silk or satin garment on a person, the first idea that comes to the mind is to love the person or the garment the person is wearing?

I wonder how it would look on me

13. Do all crossdressers wish to have a dominant partner in day to day life and in bed? If yes, why?

I stay single so can do as I please but love to have be with a dominate person.

14. Do all crossdressers go through purging and restarting and finally surrendering?

I never have

15. This question is not bound to be answered but i'm including it with all good faith. I do see it as a very important question and its effect on crossdressing. Do we as crossdressers relate our crossdressing to some sort of sexual or abuse in childhood? If yes, is there a fascination for most of us for the childhood sexual abuse to be repeated? Why the response as in becoming crossdresser is so similar among all cds?

I was taught in early teens what a man would want but not used for it, sisters did take me on double dates with them

16. Do some crossdressers relate crossdressing to social abuse if not sexual?

No just enjoy being feminine.
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Wendae
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Re: Why Crossdressers?

Post by Wendae »

I'm with SL and Carol Ann. I do however feel it is genetic.
I believe I was a lesbian in my past life
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