'The' CD question, for me.

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn

Betty B.
New Member
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 3:04 pm

Re: 'The' CD question, for me.

Post by Betty B. »

Part of my self reflection now is that I'm a very logical person, a computer programmer by trade. I have an innate need to understand things logically, being a DC just doesn't fit that bucket. I'm currently looking for work (hopefully soon), so I've been home by myself a lot. Today, I have no desire one way or the other to put on a bra or dress. Last Thursday I wore a jeans skirt all day, including my wife coming home from work, and it felt natural and good. What is the difference in me from one day to the next? Why do I crave female breasts, when I know it would make living as a man more difficult? Why do I love seeing a cute dress on a woman, and want to wear the outfit? I'm really just voicing my frustrations. I'm probably thinking too much, should just go with the flow and enjoy what I enjoy. When I was in college, some days walking across campus everywhere I looked I saw, and was attracted to, beautiful women. Other days, I didn't notice many, if any. Same set of people, just my perceptions changed one day to the next. Perhaps it's all tied together. I could say it's just hormones, but all men have hormones, not all men dress as women. How can I explain CDing to my wife when I don't understand it myself?

On a side note, my wife and I were talking this weekend about my CDing. She has known for about 8 months and is still dealing with it. She made the comment that when I wear a dress in front of her, like last Thursday, it felt like I was trying to push her away. I tried to explain that the LAST thing I'm trying to do is push her away, and that I appreciate that she is much more understanding than many other SOs, I think that helped a little. On the other hand, I had an interview on Monday, and she was showing me how to apply some foundation to mask some 'age issues' on my face. Not something a wife would normally do, I think. I've been trying to go real slow. As my hair is still blond and full, but my moustache was full grey, I shaved it for my interview and lost about 8 years. It's probably weird for a CDer to have a moustache, I had it since college and I'm 55 now. I've been looking for a good reason to shave it anyway. When I get back to work I can justify buying a wig and finally see how I look full on. Not sure how my wife will deal with that. Baby steps, I guess.

I tend to ramble a little, sorry about that. Thinking out loud, I guess.
Betty B.
New Member
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu May 15, 2014 3:04 pm

Re: 'The' CD question, for me.

Post by Betty B. »

FYI, I just heard from the company I interviewed with Monday. I got the job!!! My unemployment just ran out, so the timing is great! Not really a CD issue, but on my mind this second.
User avatar
DonnaT
Miss Great Goddess
Posts: 8222
Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:04 am
Location: No. Virginia

Re: 'The' CD question, for me.

Post by DonnaT »

Congratulations on the job! *-*
DonnaT
User avatar
Paulette
Miss Golden Goddess
Posts: 522
Joined: Thu May 10, 2012 12:01 am
Location: Oakland, CA

Re: 'The' CD question, for me.

Post by Paulette »

There is no rhyme or reason, only the season. That is, there is only how you feel and what your glands are doing, and whatever common sense you can bring to it. If CDing or transitioning or middle-pathing was amenable to reason or logical analysis there would be no need for this forum, or for any forum like it.

There are as many forms of whatever-it-is as there are people who have it. Probably more, since many of us change our minds from month to month. Yet I've found no one who has successfully and permanently squashed their obsession with dressing, whether it's sexually motivated or just feels "more like me."

So all I can suggest is that you keep yourself open to possibilities and try to be your most genuine self, regardless of gender. Read as much of the older posts as you can, and see what feels most like your own situation.

Good luck.
~ Paulette
~ just lucky, I guess.
User avatar
KimberlyS
Site Administrator
Posts: 3307
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:01 pm
Location: North Central USA, SD

Re: 'The' CD question, for me.

Post by KimberlyS »

Congrats on the job. *-*
Site Administrator

I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
Post Reply