Still new here.

[Lila]

I'm still new here and have read many topics and posted message. But I really don't know where I should enter this.

I have crossdressed for many, many years. My wife has known for years, and although she tolerates it, she doesn't really participate with me. Like many, or most, it all started with panties, bras, hose, etc. and progressed slowly from there for years. Gradually I got to the point of fully dressing around the house. Makeup, wig, jewelry and the other nessesites came along as well. But I never felt complete enough to venture out for a long time, except for the Halloween parties, etc. The first time out on my own was nerve racking, knowing I really hadn't achieved the look I desired and afraid of what people would say when they saw me. I remember the first time my wife saw me fully dressed when I came home, by car, from a business trip late at night. I had driven 5 hours to get home and thought it was safe to make the drive dressed. When I walked in the door, the lights were out and she had gone to bed, that seemed to make me believe I was home free. Not! As I walked slowly to the bedroom, in the dark, I had totally forgotten the noise of my heels on the hardwood floor. Why I hadn't removed them I'll never know.. In the bedroom, halfway to the closet, the lights came on and she just stared, at me and looked me up and down. Wordlessly, I stood there, wondering what would come next. Next was "you look like you could use a shower". I headed for the closet with my suitcase, then to the bathroom and shower, still fully dressed. Although nervous, it felt amazing to undress and leave my feminine attire on top of the hamper, knowing my wife was awake in the bedroom and aware of what was happening. In my nervousness and hurry, I had forgotten to grab something to wear for bed. When I exited the bathroom, naked with my arm full of clothes, I was told I might as well just add them to the laundry basket in the closet and wear the nightgown she had gotten out for me. Wow, not what I had expected, and I didn't sleep much that night. Rambling, sorry.

I still didn't go out much at all after that, was still nervous, afraid and not at all confident. Now, years later, I do the grocery shopping, run errands, get the gas in both cars, and shop for outfits; all while fully dressed. No fear, nerves, maybe not fully confident, but out there and loving it. It seems that, now at 67, I am overlooked or ignored as just another mature lady on the town. And, when I
look in the full length mirror that's what I see; a mature lady that does the best she can with what she's got.

Does that happen to all of us as we get older? Do we get better, do we care less what other people think, or do we just blend in better as we age? I will try to post a picture or two, if I am allowed, and anyone can give me your honest opinion of where I need to improve, if you would.

Thank you for your time,

Lila

[JessiEM]

I think it's a combination of things, we become much better at what we do, we don't care as much about how others judge us any more and the type of androgyny which we had as children seems to creep back in as we mature making us blend in with our age demographic much better

[Anita]

Hi Lila--
Welcome to the forum.

[Anthony Simon]

... My wife has known for years, and although she tolerates it, she doesn't really participate with me...When I exited the bathroom, naked with my arm full of clothes, I was told I might as well just add them to the laundry basket in the closet and wear the nightgown she had gotten out for me.

I'd say this is more than tolerance. Rather it's acceptance. I mean, the adding of your women's clothes to all the other clothes that needed to be washed, the getting out of a nightgown and encouraging you to wear it...That's as positive as you can get without outright participation.

I don't think you were rambling. I think you were sharing out a pivotal event in your life, when your wife accepted you as a CD.

[DonnaT]

Does that happen to all of us as we get older? Do we get better, do we care less what other people think, or do we just blend in better as we age?

Everyone is different, so no, it doesn't happen to all of us. Many are still quite fearful of stepping outside.

Some get better, some don't give a darn, some blend as we age and some never will.

There's no single paint brush for all CDs.

[Carole Hill]

Welcome!

I think that there are several things that answer your question:

A person realizes that most people are not paying that much attention to others; especially, to older people.
You have probably improved your skills of presentation.
If you are retired you do not have to worry about being harassed at work or fired.
You worry less about what others may say or think.
You begin to realize that life is short so, enjoy it.
You regret what you have not done, not what you have done.

So, get out and enjoy yourself!

[Gina L.]

Hi Lila, Welcome to the forum, you obviously have counted your blessings. My wife is totally unaware of my CDing and I could not see her laying out a night dress for me. It must be so fulfilling to be OUT. I fear I will never experience that but live in hope