Not every crossdresser is transgender. Some of us just enjoy the experience of dressing as a hobby from time to time for various reasons and this can indeed be done even as our sense of ourselves is that we are fully male hence they are not transgender. If our sense of ourselves is that we are not fully male and find ourselves dressing to feel consistent with this intangible feminine sense within us that is part of who we are all while still retaining a sense that part of ourselves is also masculine to some degree then we are transgender. Finally if our sense of ourselves is that our gender is the opposite of our physical sex then we are transsexual and transition is on our radar. A transgender person can be led to transition if their sense of their self is that most of who they are is the opposite gender of their sex.
atop but separate from it all is our sexual orientation we know if we are hetero, bi, or homosexual.
I do have this inner sense that part of who I am lays across the gender barrier, I have this intangible inescapable sense of being feminine not fully masculine but that on balance more of who I am is masculine which matches my sex but that some part of who I am does not but beyond that all I can say is that that intangible inescapable feminine sense is there. I am heterosexual as an aside. Transitioning is out because more of this sense of who I am is masculine than feminine. Gender is this inner sense that we have of who we are Masculine, Feminine, or a blend.
Personality and our personality traits are separate from our sex men and women share the same pool of personality traits.
Hormones influence the intensity with which we act on some of our traits. Hence I run on testosterone and fit the male intensity pattern.
Hum...what do you think? I hope that sorts it out. It is the best that I can do right now, it feels right but I am no expert.
crossdresser transgender transsexual
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
crossdresser transgender transsexual
Go with the flow
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Hi Anne,
First, I am not challenging what you have posted and I think most if not all of us with "this gift," would love to have solid, indisputable proof of why we are blessed with this admonition. Some science has taken "pot shots" at explaining it but it could be years before any solid proof of why "we are" will ever exist. I think those of us who have "looked into it" will agree that it starts in the womb. From there it becomes somewhat social/environmental/economic/religious and any other "pressures" you want to subject us to! How we adapt to "it" becomes an individual issue. We ignore it, suppress it, repress it, or on the other extreme, we have seen our sisters, accept it, pursue it, enhance it, support it, share it, etc. And, of course, all the "middle ground' that "comes with the territory!" Thus the continuum that we find ourselves on, some static, some roaming back and forth and others making a beeline for the other end! Our best hope is to love and support our sisters who are struggling with accepting it and understanding it. We need to show them that it is (my opinion) a true gift, but that not everyone sees it that way and help them to deal with those who do not or even want to understand what we bring to the table.
Some girls reach a point where they need to take what I call "Virginia's Challenge." Get dressed, look as pretty as you can, take a deep breath and stand in front of a full length mirror and look at the woman in the reflection. Don't look at how pretty she is, look into her eyes, into her soul if possible. Then in the quite solitude of the moment ask yourself these questions. Is this who I am? If this is who I am what am I willing to risk, give up, challenge in order to be who I see? If you are totally honest with yourself, you may have your answer. I do not recommend that everyone do this until they feel they are ready as it can be a life changing event! Just saying.
As for those outside our existence, it drives me nuts, should not but it does. Go to any large group gathering and look around at the people there! Damn, ain't it neat, no two look alike, physically and I can assure you that internally, opinions, attitudes, health, morals and any other measurement you wish to apply will provide a different result from each and everyone of them. So why would our "gift" be any different? Yet our difference that we "are" is treated like some kind of disease. Isn't fair, yet, we are making inroads, but it will take time. Just remember, every time we interact with the masses and/or the great unwashed we are ambassadors for our sisters who are, pardon the adage, "still in the closet."
Go forth, woman, and BE!
Love,
Virginia
First, I am not challenging what you have posted and I think most if not all of us with "this gift," would love to have solid, indisputable proof of why we are blessed with this admonition. Some science has taken "pot shots" at explaining it but it could be years before any solid proof of why "we are" will ever exist. I think those of us who have "looked into it" will agree that it starts in the womb. From there it becomes somewhat social/environmental/economic/religious and any other "pressures" you want to subject us to! How we adapt to "it" becomes an individual issue. We ignore it, suppress it, repress it, or on the other extreme, we have seen our sisters, accept it, pursue it, enhance it, support it, share it, etc. And, of course, all the "middle ground' that "comes with the territory!" Thus the continuum that we find ourselves on, some static, some roaming back and forth and others making a beeline for the other end! Our best hope is to love and support our sisters who are struggling with accepting it and understanding it. We need to show them that it is (my opinion) a true gift, but that not everyone sees it that way and help them to deal with those who do not or even want to understand what we bring to the table.
Some girls reach a point where they need to take what I call "Virginia's Challenge." Get dressed, look as pretty as you can, take a deep breath and stand in front of a full length mirror and look at the woman in the reflection. Don't look at how pretty she is, look into her eyes, into her soul if possible. Then in the quite solitude of the moment ask yourself these questions. Is this who I am? If this is who I am what am I willing to risk, give up, challenge in order to be who I see? If you are totally honest with yourself, you may have your answer. I do not recommend that everyone do this until they feel they are ready as it can be a life changing event! Just saying.
As for those outside our existence, it drives me nuts, should not but it does. Go to any large group gathering and look around at the people there! Damn, ain't it neat, no two look alike, physically and I can assure you that internally, opinions, attitudes, health, morals and any other measurement you wish to apply will provide a different result from each and everyone of them. So why would our "gift" be any different? Yet our difference that we "are" is treated like some kind of disease. Isn't fair, yet, we are making inroads, but it will take time. Just remember, every time we interact with the masses and/or the great unwashed we are ambassadors for our sisters who are, pardon the adage, "still in the closet."
Go forth, woman, and BE!
Love,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Noeleena
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:09 am
- Location: South Island, New Zealand
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Hi,
I know many dont wont to accept this little bit of info and i know many are still holding so tight to this belive and they dont wont to admit this, why, i have no idear yet its there for all to see, i belive it,s to simple, end off,
Why are we the way we are . with out doing an essay all i,ll say is this,
At conception at that moment the program is started and what we are is started there,from then on no matter what any one says will change a detail or thing about us, for get the myths and the so called who know it all they dont and they too dont wont a bar of it, so you are not going to change a thing till one accepts the truth and it .s there,
So the start of the beginning of the tiny little baby is nether female or male the program is set and life is started for that baby to become a boy or girl, there is no change from female to male it never happens or has ever happened, it does not work that way ,fact..
Those of us who are intersex are prove of that detail . our program was mis matched at conception , and that in its self is a study by it,s own other than that chemicals can play a part and this is a total other matter and i wont get into that, when you study all the details you will find a lot more
,
Sad to say we have been taught to many myths and none of those are fact and now because we are seeing what really happens and takes place is so neat and it explains so much we dont need to quesse
............... why we are the way we are,...............
Thats whats so lovely about it,
...noeleena...
I know many dont wont to accept this little bit of info and i know many are still holding so tight to this belive and they dont wont to admit this, why, i have no idear yet its there for all to see, i belive it,s to simple, end off,
Why are we the way we are . with out doing an essay all i,ll say is this,
At conception at that moment the program is started and what we are is started there,from then on no matter what any one says will change a detail or thing about us, for get the myths and the so called who know it all they dont and they too dont wont a bar of it, so you are not going to change a thing till one accepts the truth and it .s there,
So the start of the beginning of the tiny little baby is nether female or male the program is set and life is started for that baby to become a boy or girl, there is no change from female to male it never happens or has ever happened, it does not work that way ,fact..
Those of us who are intersex are prove of that detail . our program was mis matched at conception , and that in its self is a study by it,s own other than that chemicals can play a part and this is a total other matter and i wont get into that, when you study all the details you will find a lot more
,
Sad to say we have been taught to many myths and none of those are fact and now because we are seeing what really happens and takes place is so neat and it explains so much we dont need to quesse
............... why we are the way we are,...............
Thats whats so lovely about it,
...noeleena...
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Noeleena,
You are correct. What makes me crazy is that there are what 3+billion people on this third rock from the sun and it is with extreme difficulty that we could go out and find any two that look (physically) alike. Generally agreed upon - right? The crazy part is if physically on the exterior, we exude such differences, why would it not be acceptable to understand that that difference could be internal as well???? The internal manifestations are just as complex and varied as our outward appearances.
Unfortunately that is not the case. Most, a lot, some, many???? as an example they see a 5'8" WASP as a "straight" heterosexual being, in physical appearance only. Dress as the opposite sex (who set the dress standard anyway? - well that's for another time) and society seems to go nuts!
Second, we in our own universe, are just beginning to agree on descriptive terms to define who we are. The various sciences who are involved can't agree yet. They (the ?scientists?) are just beginning to recognize that we even "exist," without subtitles!
We are IN MY OPINION about as complex as a human being can currently be, that of being transgendered, and my theory is that "we are the next phase in human evolution......." and as I am fond of saying, "it's a gift that we should express with pride!"
Just saying!
Virginia
You are correct. What makes me crazy is that there are what 3+billion people on this third rock from the sun and it is with extreme difficulty that we could go out and find any two that look (physically) alike. Generally agreed upon - right? The crazy part is if physically on the exterior, we exude such differences, why would it not be acceptable to understand that that difference could be internal as well???? The internal manifestations are just as complex and varied as our outward appearances.
Unfortunately that is not the case. Most, a lot, some, many???? as an example they see a 5'8" WASP as a "straight" heterosexual being, in physical appearance only. Dress as the opposite sex (who set the dress standard anyway? - well that's for another time) and society seems to go nuts!
Second, we in our own universe, are just beginning to agree on descriptive terms to define who we are. The various sciences who are involved can't agree yet. They (the ?scientists?) are just beginning to recognize that we even "exist," without subtitles!
We are IN MY OPINION about as complex as a human being can currently be, that of being transgendered, and my theory is that "we are the next phase in human evolution......." and as I am fond of saying, "it's a gift that we should express with pride!"
Just saying!
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Noeleena
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:09 am
- Location: South Island, New Zealand
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Hi, Virginia,
Thank you .
What is strange to me is i knew about this some years ago, age between 10 and 12 1956-9,
of cause not in words i could have expressed or even said , yet just knew i felt something so deep inside, hidden away, It,ll come and then wont be an issue
...noeleena...
Thank you .
What is strange to me is i knew about this some years ago, age between 10 and 12 1956-9,
of cause not in words i could have expressed or even said , yet just knew i felt something so deep inside, hidden away, It,ll come and then wont be an issue
...noeleena...
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JanGriffin
- New Member
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:56 pm
- Location: Williamsburg, VA
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Transitioning??? I have thought about it - as you say you have been male so long that is only way you know to live. Heck, I never been Jan 24/7 - only hours - and 24/7 is scary. What if I don't like it - so much trouble, Who would be a friend to do activities with. I have chatted a few transgender - seems life is great for only a short time then it is just a way of living - well dressing appropriately, Nothing special as it is now for the short times I am able to be out as Jan -mixing with people
*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL
*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL
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Eileen (SO)
- Moderator
- Posts: 1082
- Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2013 10:29 pm
- Location: Near Chicago
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
From the perspective of my CD husband, he felt more at ease when he decided to not care why he likes female clothing. Whether being the first born, Mom smoked and drank and poisoned the womb, did she breast feed? Gobs of theories, but no proof. He has done Virginia's test, looked in the mirror, and said, this is who I am, for now.
He has been dressed most of a day a few times and would like to experience a 24/7 weekend. Never has he seriously considered a permanent body change, either chemically or surgical. One of his group once asked that if there were a magic pill that changed you to fully female, with no repercussions from family, friends, or work, would you take it? After much discussions, his final answer was no. If he did take it, she would spend her days wishing she were a man.
To use what Virginia says, there are an infinite number of possibilities on the sliding scale of gender assignment. Love yourself for who you are and live life fully. Don't fret what life could have been.
My husband often jokes that if were born female from the same parents, he would be fat and dumpy looking like his two sisters.
Eileen
He has been dressed most of a day a few times and would like to experience a 24/7 weekend. Never has he seriously considered a permanent body change, either chemically or surgical. One of his group once asked that if there were a magic pill that changed you to fully female, with no repercussions from family, friends, or work, would you take it? After much discussions, his final answer was no. If he did take it, she would spend her days wishing she were a man.
To use what Virginia says, there are an infinite number of possibilities on the sliding scale of gender assignment. Love yourself for who you are and live life fully. Don't fret what life could have been.
My husband often jokes that if were born female from the same parents, he would be fat and dumpy looking like his two sisters.
Eileen
Not only a wife, a girlfriend too!
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Ralitsa
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1160
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:54 pm
- Location: center of North Dakota
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
My husband often jokes that if were born female from the same parents, he would be fat and dumpy looking like his two sisters
That's funny Eileen! I agree with that. Not that I'm saying my sisters are fat and dumpy, but I do look a whole lot better in a dress than either of them. And I also wear dresses more often than both of them together.
When I was sorting all this out for myself, I looked a lot at the "men's fashion freedom" stuff out there. It's basically a lot of guys who say that they should be allowed to wear skirts and dresses if they want, and complaining that none of the major department stores have dresses for men. Well I sort of agreed with that, and then decided that I didn't need anyone's permission to wear what I like and didn't need to wait until it was "allowed". I noticed that there was not any pink barricades around the women's department with "No Boys Allowed" signs, so I gave it a try. Yes, I do know that there are certain places, even in the USA, where crossdressing is illegal, but I reject the idea that government has any jurisdiction in clothing choices.
What I find really curious is the diversity in women's fashion. It seems like men generally are afraid to try new styles or fashions. And I guess that goes back to the whole fear of having their masculinity questioned. To which I argue that a real man wouldn't let fear of having his masculinity being called into question prevent him from wearing what he likes.
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Ginger
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2014 7:21 am
- Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Glad I found this topic. My Name is Ginger.
I was with my Councilor the other day and I think she really enjoys when we talk about my gender and my hormones and body. Which is VERY cool for me.
She was very interested on how I thought of my self? Not that she wanted me to put my self in a category but we tried to find the best option for me.
Yes I am on HRT and have been for about 5 months. I LOVE IT.... Yes I have a full A possibly B Cup.
So I told her how happy I am on the inside and that is all that matters to me. I have no intentions of transitioning and so we talked and really came to a conclusion that I really am a Transvestite/Crossdresser. For some reason I prefer Transvestite. No reason why...
But I love looking and feeling my womanly body... I do feel I am addicted to my hormones. I actually love taking my hormone pills. It is very exciting to me.
I also feel that I am not entirely into woman any more. Sure I LOVE LOVE LOVE looking at women's breasts OMG. But I have no desire for a woman's vagina. My ultimate desire is to have a full relationship with an attractive full Transgender woman on HRT. If I could have a meaningful, loving relationship with a Transgender woman I would be in heaven.
I know that may never happen, but hey nice to dream and wish.
Ginger.
P.S. Would love to talk to others.
I was with my Councilor the other day and I think she really enjoys when we talk about my gender and my hormones and body. Which is VERY cool for me.
She was very interested on how I thought of my self? Not that she wanted me to put my self in a category but we tried to find the best option for me.
Yes I am on HRT and have been for about 5 months. I LOVE IT.... Yes I have a full A possibly B Cup.
So I told her how happy I am on the inside and that is all that matters to me. I have no intentions of transitioning and so we talked and really came to a conclusion that I really am a Transvestite/Crossdresser. For some reason I prefer Transvestite. No reason why...
But I love looking and feeling my womanly body... I do feel I am addicted to my hormones. I actually love taking my hormone pills. It is very exciting to me.
I also feel that I am not entirely into woman any more. Sure I LOVE LOVE LOVE looking at women's breasts OMG. But I have no desire for a woman's vagina. My ultimate desire is to have a full relationship with an attractive full Transgender woman on HRT. If I could have a meaningful, loving relationship with a Transgender woman I would be in heaven.
I know that may never happen, but hey nice to dream and wish.
Ginger.
P.S. Would love to talk to others.
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Ms. Erin
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 286
- Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:02 am
- Location: Richmond Virginia
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
I feel very feminine even without being dressed up, its so in my mind. I noticed some things I do are genuine feminine as well, not even realizing it. For me I am TG, and perhaps TV, but I am not going to label myself anymore, I am happy as the woman I can be, even not in a complete body, but close to it, aka HRT is in the very near future.
Ginger I would love to talk to you.
Erin.
Ginger I would love to talk to you.
Erin.
I am a woman of trans experience.
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Cindy J Angel
- New Member
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2014 11:34 am
- Location: Denver nc
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Well i dont like labels . If we ladys think back to dif. Stages in our journey we would labels.
As we progress on our journey u stop and u are happy at that stage some stay there and outhers move on.
Am i a cd or tg once u go past cding to me it wide open to what u can call your self. I consider my self tg if all my stars lined up them i would transaction, theres a lot of us that think the same in some way.
As we progress on our journey u stop and u are happy at that stage some stay there and outhers move on.
Am i a cd or tg once u go past cding to me it wide open to what u can call your self. I consider my self tg if all my stars lined up them i would transaction, theres a lot of us that think the same in some way.
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TiffanyAnne_Williams
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2014 11:19 am
- Location: Atlanta
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Some very good posts.
I too hate labels, and as Virginia so nicely stated, there are no two of us exactly alike (except twins I guess). We are all very complex, different and unique ..... special!
And I for one am happy with who I am and where I am going on my journey with my awesome wife.
I too hate labels, and as Virginia so nicely stated, there are no two of us exactly alike (except twins I guess). We are all very complex, different and unique ..... special!
And I for one am happy with who I am and where I am going on my journey with my awesome wife.
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Kelly
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 638
- Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:26 am
- Location: West Coast
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
Well, this thread has thrown me off the rails. Way off. I have been pretty much absent from the havensince it started; not by intension, but by distraction - exploration.
Did the 'Virginia Test' both dolled up and en drab. Didn't see a man or a woman. Only saw me. My inner voice, you know the voice you read or think in, it is adrogenous.
I'm still confused. Not tormented, mind you, but confused. Maybe a few conclusions. Thought about the magic pill fantasy, I know now, categorically, that I would not take the pill. However, if there was some strange, fanciful, perfect storm of medical conditions/trauma where the prognosis was either transition or die, then I believe I could choose to live and thrive. How's that for conflicted!!!!
The whole notions of masculinity and femininity are very real. But,look at them closely, break them down, and the parts seem artificial, or perhaps superficial.
Yep, there is a continuum. I seem to be oscillating around the zero point. I guess I am ok, even thankful, that the labels are so vague. If the definition of the boxes were crisp, I'm not sure there would be a box I would fit in.
Kelly
Did the 'Virginia Test' both dolled up and en drab. Didn't see a man or a woman. Only saw me. My inner voice, you know the voice you read or think in, it is adrogenous.
I'm still confused. Not tormented, mind you, but confused. Maybe a few conclusions. Thought about the magic pill fantasy, I know now, categorically, that I would not take the pill. However, if there was some strange, fanciful, perfect storm of medical conditions/trauma where the prognosis was either transition or die, then I believe I could choose to live and thrive. How's that for conflicted!!!!
The whole notions of masculinity and femininity are very real. But,look at them closely, break them down, and the parts seem artificial, or perhaps superficial.
Yep, there is a continuum. I seem to be oscillating around the zero point. I guess I am ok, even thankful, that the labels are so vague. If the definition of the boxes were crisp, I'm not sure there would be a box I would fit in.
Kelly
I thought a CD was something you stuck in a computer
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Requal Jo
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1029
- Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2013 3:26 pm
- Location: East Coast Australia
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
As my age progresses I no longer feel the need to decide who I am.
I have long ago come to the conclusion that I am just a guy who enjoys wearing female apparel.
I have long ago come to the conclusion that I am just a guy who enjoys wearing female apparel.
Requal
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Carol Esme
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 338
- Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:35 pm
- Location: NSW Australia
Re: crossdresser transgender transsexual
I took Virginia's Test some years back, accidentally and without knowing that was its name. I just stood there as Carol in front of the full length mirror going OMG I can do this. I CAN DO THIS.
At the time I was a closet CD but about 3 years ago I came out to myself as TS. I'm now 20 mths into a course of hormones, body changes are becoming obvious and soon I will be out to everyone whether I want it or not.
Terminology confuses me. I'd like to think TG covers everyone on this site (except SOs) but I recognise that some CDs are happy to sit under the umbrella while others are not.
At the time I was a closet CD but about 3 years ago I came out to myself as TS. I'm now 20 mths into a course of hormones, body changes are becoming obvious and soon I will be out to everyone whether I want it or not.
Terminology confuses me. I'd like to think TG covers everyone on this site (except SOs) but I recognise that some CDs are happy to sit under the umbrella while others are not.
Carol