Keeping it in the family?

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

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Gillian
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Keeping it in the family?

Post by Gillian »

I have read about several individuals coming out to their daughters, but rarely to their sons. I have read about some saying that they think that their son may be a CD'er also, but they don't seem to broach the subject with them. I read this many years ago, it said that men who are CD'ers often raise there sons to be CD'ers also, yet I have not seen any evidence on any CD site to support this thought, which leads me to think where did this come from.
So, here are the questions;
1. Has anyone here been raised by their father, to be a CD'er?
2. As in the first question, been raised by their mother to be a CD'er?
3. Has anyone raised their son to follow in their foot steps and be a CD'er also?
I know in my own case, I don't fit the mold that I have seen in other's stories. I have read about getting introduced to CDing by an older sister for whatever reason, but these questions are aimed at our parents, not siblings. So, is there anyone who was introduced to this life style by their parants?
So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of there labor, for these are gifts from God.
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Davita
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Davita »

As far as I know, I have been the only one in all the family name and on my mom's side No one raised me to be transgender but myself. Now my family has had it's compliments of gays, lesbians, criminals, politicians etc. over the centuries, but I havent known anyone to talk of a transgender family member.
{squeezes}
Davita
Toni_Lynn_P
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Toni_Lynn_P »

I would be quite certain, only because the odds favour it, that there have been other crossdressers in the family. Nonetheless, a father and son cd-ing team seems a bit unlikely. Sons being crossdressed by their mums is likely, but sadly, more often than not is done for reasons of hurt and humiliation.

I would wonder if there have ever been any cases of crossdressing brothers. I did start a fiction story like this.

My wife have oft discussed how we would handle a crossdressing teenage son. We both feel that we would treat it like no big deal, and would just simply let it be to develop on it own with no encouragement or detriment from us.

That said, we suspect a neighbour boy MIGHT be a crossdresser. He saw me as a schoolgirl for hallowen and said it was really cool and that he used to dress up with a baby sitter. My response was 'that must have been fun.' I then let it drop. One must NOT go there for any number of reasons. Should he ever bring it up again, my response will simply be that its okay and just let it go. Should his folks ever ask questions, I would be wiling to advise them. I will not however say 'go buy him dresses etc'. I know it may seem hurtful to one reaching out, but just letting it evolve in an atmosphere of passive acceptance is far better than one of condemnation.

Now if in later life, a son or neighbour should come out (after the age of majority), then I can some beautiful support occurring. That is right and proper.

Hugs

Toni-Lynn
Ralitsa
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Ralitsa »

Well I seriously doubt that any father would "try" to raise his son as a crossdresser. If either of my sons wanted to try it, I would neither encourage nor discourage them. While I myself enjoy it, I do understand that there are very many people, including some in my own family, that consider me a freak. It took me a long time and a lot of trouble to get to the point I am now, that is time and trouble I wouldn't wish on anyone.
But if it is something they felt compelled to do, or felt very strongly about, I would try to be pragmatic and make sure they understood everything involved. And after that I would protect them as much as I can from the fall out.
My main concern in life is that my kids get a good education, are hard working and have good jobs, and get through life with as little grief as possible. The clothes they wear are important for the job interview, but other than that I'm not particularly concerned about their fashion choices.
Requal Jo
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Requal Jo »

A BIG no to all questions Ralitsa.
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Toni_Lynn_P
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Toni_Lynn_P »

Ralitsa wrote:It took me a long time and a lot of trouble to get to the point I am now, that is time and trouble I wouldn't wish on anyone.
This raises an interesting thought -- would I wish 'crossdressing' on anyone. There is a certain part of me that says yes, because I see it as a really great thing. Its a gift, a talent, a fun thing to do. Through it, I have become a multi-faceted person. My horizons have expanded. It has lead to a beautiful marriage. It has lead to an inner peace such that I have never felt before. Yes it was painful getting there and I can count the days of pain in litres of cheap rum. But it was all worth it, and I would not be he good person I am now, had I not gone through it.

That said though -- my 'yes' is only if the person is willing to accept the gift. No one should be forced to be what they are not. So in a sense is it not the gift of crossdressing that I am wishing on one, but rather the gift of knowing and loving your 'self'.
Ralitsa wrote:But if it is something they felt compelled to do, or felt very strongly about, I would try to be pragmatic and make sure they understood everything involved. And after that I would protect them as much as I can from the fall out.
Indeed this is a 100% If my teenage son, or daughter (YES - daughter!), was a crossdresser, I would defend them and protect them. That is my role as husband and father -- it is immutable whether I wear lace undies or not. I recall a talk I heard by a priest several years ago. He explained that in that role (husband and father), I need to stand facing evil, point at my family and say - to get to them, you have to get past me! That resonated with me, because it spoke more of the strength of person inside. And that strength does not falter when it is wearing a bra and panties. No, rather is is stronger, for my hurts and abuse have given me courage to say 'never will that happen to the ones I love, those who love me'.

That is why my marriage works. Sadly, our chance to have kids of our own is gone, but I will not falter in my defense. If my wife and I had kids of our own, I would protect then, gay or straight, and anywhere on the gender spectrum.

Hugs

Toni-Lynn
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Robyn
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Robyn »

For me, no to all three.

However, these questions infer to the side of the debate that genetics, or any other physical attribute (including the brain) is NOT connected to a cross dresser's connection to the opposite sex. Personally I believe there is a physical link that makes (most) transvestites have an affinity toward the opposite gender.
Normal, just not average,
Robyn
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DonnaT
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by DonnaT »

No to all 3 questions.

My son see's me dressed in something fem nearly every day, and has never had an issue with it. My daughter has only seen my avatar picture.
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Eileen (SO)
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Eileen (SO) »

The age old question about cross dressing, is it nature or nurture? About a hundred years ago, the custom was to dress little boys in dresses, it was economics not gender driven. I doubt if there were more cross dressesers then than now because of it. Some men are better housekeepers than others, the desire to cook or clean has little to do with how one dresses.

I'm quite sure that most all members on this board would agree that how you think of yourselves is hard wired in your brain. It can not be changed. Dad or Mom raising a child to cross dress would only work to a certain point in life. Boy or girl, they would either rebel, a huge majority, or be very happy.
Gillian wrote:I have read about several individuals coming out to their daughters, but rarely to their sons.
Of course you would come out to the female offspring before the young man looking at the 'ol man as a macho father figure.
Gillian wrote: I have read about getting introduced to CDing by an older sister for whatever reason,
Getting introduced to role play dressing as children is much different than a hidden compulsion appear as women for emotional satisfaction. How many High School age kids play 'house' and switch roles as commonly as when they were in Grade School?

Dressing or transitioning, it's in you before birth. Some realize it earlier that others.

Eileen
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Toni_Lynn_P
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Toni_Lynn_P »

Eileen (SO) wrote: I'm quite sure that most all members on this board would agree that how you think of yourselves is hard wired in your brain. It can not be changed. Dad or Mom raising a child to cross dress would only work to a certain point in life. Boy or girl, they would either rebel, a huge majority, or be very happy.
I know that I can no more NOT be a crossdresser than an oak tree not be an oak tree or a lion not be a lion. Just as I rebelled as a teen and then via my alcoholism at NOT being allowed to crossdress, so it would be if I was forced to crossdress and didn't have it as apart of me.

I like being the way I am. One can postulate any number of reasons why I at age 7 wanted so badly to use the girls restroom at school, why at age 8 wore my sister's panties, and why at at 13 I wanted a bra. Well, actually on that last one it was gynecomastia -- something that I see as a blessing. One an only guess why I prefer to wear skirts and dresses and panties and bras. Is it like whether or not someone likes liver (ptui)?

No one should be MADE to be something they are not. Period.

One thing that is certain is that I have to crossdress. I will be quite bold here. If I do not crossdress, I will die, plain and simple. My history, is that I am recovering alcoholic. I have also suffered from morbid obesity. These both were exacerbated by and effected by family and the world around me that sought to suppress the 'ME' that I am. The spiral down into depression and self-hate when I can't be who I am is a visible and real effect. Consequences of all that is that I know that it will lead to a resumption of my professional career as a substance abuser, and that will lead to heart attack, stroke, and death.

Here endeth the lesson

Hugs

Toni-Lynn
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Paulette
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Paulette »

Gillian wrote:1. Has anyone here been raised by their father, to be a CD'er?
2. As in the first question, been raised by their mother to be a CD'er?
3. Has anyone raised their son to follow in their foot steps and be a CD'er also?
I know in my own case, I don't fit the mold that I have seen in other's stories. I have read about getting introduced to CDing by an older sister for whatever reason, but these questions are aimed at our parents, not siblings. So, is there anyone who was introduced to this life style by their parants?
No, but I so, so wish they had simply accepted me and my desires to dress when I was a child, rather than recoil in horror.

A few months ago I dreamed that I woke as my 7yo self to find a full selection of girls clothing on the foot of my bed. All in my size, in my favorite colors, and as I put them on they felt wonderfully good, and right. The dream continued with me getting fully dressed as a girl, and going downstairs to greet my mother and father, grandparents, and brothers and sisters. Their faces were shining with happiness and they clapped and cheered at my appearance.

I think that was the happiest dream I've ever had.

Yet as an adult I can envision myself as male or female, attracted and attractive to both men and women. No idea if I'd feel that way if my childhood sexual awakening had not be traumatic. But from here and now I believe that, at least for myself, nature is, but nurture triumphs. Think of air conditioning, farming, flying, wearing clothes -- none of which is a "natural" condition, but all of which have been shaped to our desires.
~ Paulette
~ just lucky, I guess.
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Anne Bonny
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Anne Bonny »

I like to respond first then see what others say. 1.) Was I raised by my father to be a crossdresser? No. 2.) by my mother? Hum...one time she told me my legs looked like girl's legs because they weren't very muscular. When I was about 3-4 after running around the deck of our boat hosing down the decks and getting all wet I had my wet clothing removed and a white t-shirt put over me to go to the car. That I remember, I remember thinking it was like a girl because I had no pants on. My sister went with me to the car. I was over protected because I had asthma that was rather bad and in the early 60's the medications were not very good. Dad was frequently gone on trips and I had two older sisters and my mom so I was raised surrounded by them. Mom was no wall flower she was as strong willed and independent as any feminist you might come across but she was not a feminist. But other than those things no one put me in dresses, I did on my own found I was interested in feminine clothes and even got dressed a few times when I had the opportunity all before the age of 10. OH!!! I also remember my closest sister putting me in a yellow dress one time when we were playing in a back room and saying she wish she had had a little sister but the dress was only on perhaps only 10 to 15 minutes and I took it off. One time a cousin was looking in a box of old children's clothes for something to change me into and he put a blue jumper on me and went into a falsetto, "oh a little girl!" but that came right off and pants were found. 3.) Raised my sons to be crossdressers? No, but being a crossdresser I would not have prevented their experimentation if they desired and my older son did actually go through a goth period and I did find a picture of him tweaked in the feminine direction, he was even claiming to be gay but now he has a very real girl friend who has an 18 month old and they are both in college and working and are very into each other. So no.
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Bernice
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Bernice »

Paulette wrote: No, but I so, so wish they had simply accepted me and my desires to dress when I was a child, rather than recoil in horror.
Me too! Been there, done that, got the bruises. :(

I read about young TG kids today, getting puberty blockers, and I am oh, so envious.

Hugs,

Bernice
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Cyndi Tyler
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Re: Keeping it in the family?

Post by Cyndi Tyler »

I have, like many of us, given a good deal of thought of where my likings, tastes and desires evolved from. I think in no way was it influenced intentionally by either of my parents. I can remember a few incidents when I was young that excited me but I think they were a response to a pre-existing sense rather than they being formative.

I am a CD/TV and I have come to terms with it but I would not say that it would be my "Plan A" for anyone I loved or cherished for, but then again when faced with it of course I wold be supportive. Oh, in my case life is generally good, but my heart goes out to those who face the trials and tribulations that come from there internal needs (not choices but compulsions).
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