Gender equality, lean in

[Anne Bonny]

A new agenda in management is gender equality and what is called "lean in" it is a new push to rid the work space of gender so that everyone is paid and treated the same, even at home for males to do domestic chores as well because it makes life more efficient. Boys take out the trash but girls set the table which takes longer...Men at work can make coffee too...

When then are we going to lose the idea that men have to wear pants? Why can't males wear a nice dress or a skirt and a top with some jewelry and make up? It is a barrier that must also be torn down and thrown out. I am not so naive as to believe most men will move right into wearing skirts and dresses but some will especially transgender males and perhaps men who are labeled "metro." I mean really!? This should not be a big deal.

Well...ok I know this is a post we make again and again and again, but I mean really! I am fully dressed at this time and feel quite secure in the skirt and top I have on, make up and jewelry and pumps I mean it all goes with the look, and now that I am 169.8 lbs post my daily 5K run...when I look in the mirror even with short hair but styled feminine I look like a girl with very short hair the make up helps and the ear rings. But my slender physique matches that of any female proportionately. I look fine and were I to go to work I believe I can look as good dressed as a girl as I can dressed as a man. So, Why can't men in an age of gender equality do this? I have had many female superiors what if they were the ones wearing pants instead of me half the time. especially in warmer weather in an office environment?

The answer is I suppose in some parts of the country we would be protected right now.

[Gillian]

Most men will start to wear skirts only when they see an advantage to doing it. Whether it is comfort, or it is easier to whip it out when needed, there has to be some reason, or advantage before most guys will change. It can't be for fashion, because most men have the fashion sense of a dead buffalo. A sure fire way to get a guy into a skirt is for women to start saying that they like it, guys look sexy in skirts, and it turns them on. I am all for gender equality, but I don't see it happening in the fashion industry for a long while.

[DonnaT]

Well, some in the fashion industry have tried to get men into skirts (not kilts), but most men just aren't having it.

[Toni_Lynn_P]

My progression to be accepted in a skirt has been as a result of starting out in a kilt. Once people around town got used to seeing me in a kilt (a utili-kilt), the progression to my skorts for my bike ride, and then to my long skirt for regular trips to the store was no big deal. People are just used to seeing me in a non-bifurcated garment these days

Hugs

Toni-Lynn


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Anne Bonny]

Well...It is not about getting men into skirts and dresses, just those who want the option because we like to wear them. Just this morning out of the blue I thought I wish I could put on a dress but the Nursing Aid for my wife is coming, I have things to do and do not want to drive over that hump right now. I did put on some panties though as a consolation to myself. I thing TG Men and Metro men would want this option, most men never will but we should definitely have the option at home, at work, traveling, around town shopping and running errands anywhere that we wish just like women do. Where ever it makes sense.

I believe we should have the freedom to do so and that no one should bat an eye...the day when no one reacts will be the day we have fashion equality with women.

[Gillian]

"I believe we should have the freedom to do so and that no one should bat an eye...the day when no one reacts will be the day we have fashion equality with women."

I agree totally with you, it should be about freedom of expression, how anyone dresses has everything to do with expression. Look at how long it took for women to get emancipated, problem is that most men don't realize what they need to be set free from. Then there are the ones who figure that they are setting themselves free by not growing up. Women wanted equality with men, but do men want equality with women?

[Anne Bonny]

I want fashion equality, and I think I also want equality with women...I mean I want to go "through the looking glass" as Alice did.... Women live in a kind of parallel universe but their perspective is the opposite of ours. I believe I want a husband (female) and I want to be her wife, I want someone who likes it when I wear a dress, is attracted to me. I want someone who loves me deeply and wants to care for me, and be supportive of me and I wish the same for my husband but I do want a strong, confident woman who I can depend on and who does not mind if I want to lean on her sometimes, not all the time but sometimes I want that. And in bed I also want someone to be on top and to make love to me as a girl. I can also be in the conventional place for a man in bed too, probably most of the time but I do need the other because of how I am inside. I may never find this it is just not in a woman's nature as it is for men I suppose. It will be very difficult to find a woman like that so I will probably have to just settle in the end. I can do bills, run the house...chores can be shared she can do the house and I can do the yard and the trash but it should all be really not divided by sex like that. I am so used to being basically a housewife caring for my wife I don't mind doing any of it but I do not cook just microwave or heat up! I never did have any objections to any of it before either.

I dress a lot without my wig and just do what I can to make my hair look kind of feminine. Today I am dressed, my son told me he would not be back till tonight, no hospice people coming so coast is pretty much clear, as the MIL has not emailed, keep checking...and they are not here by now then there I am.

Dresses I have found past year or so are as comfortable as wearing guy clothes, and I think for myself the more I wear women's clothing the more normal it will feel for me which is just as it should be. Gee 58 and I am only now getting used to a dress or other women's clothing being or feeling normal. Of course we should not even think about it once dressed and just do whatever we need to do. And so I am....

[Ralitsa]

I agree with you completely Anne. Yeah, we've been making this same complaint for a long time, but it does seem like change comes very slowly.
Well I don't think skirts and dresses will be main stream for guys for a long time, maybe never, after all they are not exactly main stream for women either. But to have the option of wearing what I like whenever I want would be nice.
And for the most part I do wear what I like. I suppose most people think I'm weird, that's OK, they can think what they like. I don't have to care about their opinion any more than they have to approve of what I wear. But I really do think dresses are a whole lot more comfortable than "guy clothes" and I rather suspect a lot of guys would prefer to wear a dress if they thought they could get away with it.

[Anne Bonny]

I keep coming back to this idea suppose it is just part of being transgender but I like wearing a dress sometimes. I was talking to our female social worker who stated she does not like wearing dresses, I said well, I do. Adding I suppose if I could all the time eventually I might wear something sensible like her. I do have fem clothes that are not skirts and dresses. It is just common for women to only wear dresses when they dress up or occasionally when they are casual like a sundress, or a skirt around the house. But even dressing up to go out women need not put on a dress they have options that men just do not have.

I think we are overboard on this idea, fixated on it so much because we are not allowed. I remember when I was deployed to Saudi Arabia (I'm and RN), and we could not have beer or any alcohol...well we could have "near beer" with an alcohol content so low you would have to drink a case to feel anything at all. Never in my life have I wanted a beer more, and though state side I rarely drank a beer, perhaps after mowing the lawn, over there where I could not have it I wanted a beer more than ever. Well same thing. A thirsty person in the desert with no water and none in sight ... It is the same thing for men like us. We are denied and it applies here too - we are fixated over dresses. But were it to become common place I think the desire would still be there but I believe in time we would not be fixated on dresses but we would choose to wear female clothing generally and not just that one option so much.

I do not know why the general public flips out and just go positively nuts because a man wants to and is wearing a dress and pumps with the appropriate undergarments and jewelry and make up. It is because people are not used to seeing it for one, if it becomes common eventually they will just think...oh...he's transgender...hum...ok and not give it much notice. When will men show up on news programs dressed nicely with the other ladies? When will men be seen nicely dressed in the women's clothing and stores shopping? When will we see men come to a party, or go visit a couple where a husband is the one in a dress?

We simply feel differently inside sometimes from most men, because inside we identify with women and have feelings about the world which I believe are much the same as the woman around us. We are not ashamed to have these feelings and this perspective in common with women it is just who we are when the intensity of our feminine gender pushes our masculinity out of the way or to the back of our mind as our feminine desires and feelings surge to the fore front. Here we are I believe wanting the same things women want, seeing the world with very similar eyes. I do not know why this is so objectionable to the general public but they feel threatened, feel their world is threatened. We are seen not as common place but very unusual and strange. The more people see us, interact with us, come to know us as people, work with us...the more frequent their interaction and the more the learn I believe it will finally bring them to the idea that ... well so what? It's ok. It is not hurting anyone and it is not really immoral or a threat at all. We are not going away with the internet we are going to see our day come I think.

[Stephanie H]

Society is a state of mind that will not accept the projection of a gender neutral society. There will always be the lines cast is concrete with some in sand. But as a culture there will never be a blended neutral gender.

[Anne Bonny]

I do not agree. Look how homosexuality has gained acceptance and rights and has become something people may not all necessarily like but the consensus from the vast majority is that they have every right to be who they are, to have lives, to be CEO's...look at apple, to have partners to work and have lives. Our day will come. We are at an earlier stage but I hear the term "LGBT" with regularity, I hear more about us in news stories. We are mentioned by politicians championing our rights too. Yes, give it time. The Internet has brought us together as a group. We are aware of our sheer numbers - there are thousands of us, hundreds of thousands around the world, through history - we have always existed. We are as we are because we occur in nature naturally, denial is what is unnatural and society is arbitrary, society will change and I believe we are seeing it right before our eyes in our generation. Give it another 10 to 20 years and come back here and think again. The stand of the rigid and biased is going to have to change and you may even see men sitting in some churches in beautiful Sunday dresses. But I will not be there, I am an agnostic.

Here I am this morning, was sitting here just a short while ago, son at work, no one coming, and the desire was there to enjoy wearing a nice skirt and top so here I am. I have every right to be and to be who I am as the gender intensities ebb and flow and to love being ... this is time a good time to savor my femininity as a person.

[Paulette]

Anne, of course you have the right. However I hope you don't have a death wish, too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_un ... der_people" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Please read the article.

[Anne Bonny]

Yeah, that's a lot of attacks but I still believe society is changing. I have no plans on being out and about unless it becomes more common to see others out and about freely going about their business. I suppose you are talking about our being in the Deep knuckle dragging southeast part of the U.S. Yeah...but seems those murders were in places like California, and other places...1 every 3 days...hum....well I am not defenseless, I am quite fit, and a very good shot should they seek to come after me in my home.