In the closet dressers

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

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Shayla
Miss Silver Goddess
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 6:39 am

Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Shayla »

Eileen,
My SO is lovin, caring and supportive in whatever I do. However, I really choose to remain closeted for reasons I don't feel feel I should disclose on this forum. It all comes down to our own situation and how well we know our SO. That's what I like about the 'haven'. We can express as much as we want and also choose not to express everything as well. As long as I can share my desires and feelings about being Shayla with like minded individuals, that's enough for me right now.I'm so proud that you're understanding enough to your husband to accept his dressing.
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Robyn
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Location: Southern California

Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Robyn »

Hi Shayla,

Reading your last response I can see that you have a great attitude and are well grounded. We are all different, and just as you've stated "It all comes down to our own situation". For me personally I only shared my dressing with my ex-wife (years ago) and my SO, but I seriously never considered being Robyn in public. However, just this year that all changed and now being in public is a regular occurrence. I only mention that to reiterate how each of our situations are different, and when I joined this forum I had no real desire to venture out in a dress. Furthermore, I was advised (and rightly so) to be cautious, but through much research, discussion, and interaction with trusting individuals I was able to make my situation work well for me personally.

Kudos to you Shayla, and use this forum just as you are. :)

Robyn
Normal, just not average,
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Marissa Mae
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Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Marissa Mae »

I too am strictly in the closet. Though I have gone out underdressed, and even with forms in my bra (and drawn a few uncertain stares from people who just doubted what they were seeing), I have never tried to present myself as a fully dressed woman in public. My wife knows about my womanself, but that's all.

I'm just timid enough to feel that it may be just as well. I don't think I have the emotional stability to deal with others' reactions.

In another life maybe. But I do enjoy & admire each and every account of your adventures.

Love, Marissa Mae
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Lily
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Location: New England

Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Lily »

Hi Shayla,
My wife just started excepting my being a CD last year. It's nice but she still doesn't like me to dress around her. I still only really go out around October when it can pass for a costume. Otherwise it is in the house most of the time alone. As for shopping I do a lot of thrift store shopping. Even then it is easier when I'm out of town as well. I used to travel a lot and when I did I would always hit the thrift stores out of town and pick up some new goodies. I'd always pay cash of course. I feel a little more comfortable now and shop closer to home.
Lillian Paterson

-------
My girlfriend still doesn't know why her sweaters are always stretched out.” -- Ed Wood
Alexia
Miss Sapphire Goddess
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Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2015 4:29 am

Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Alexia »

Shayla wrote:Thanks ladies for clarifying.
Shayla would be lucky to come out at least twice a year.
That sounds.. awful. :(

I've been crossdressing more and more ever since I really started about four years ago and now, when I am home, I am at least partially crossdressed more than half of the time.
It helps that I live alone.
But I hate that I can't or don't dare go into the rooms of my house which can be seen by my neighbours while I am crossdressed.
I am only realising that now, but it is not just laziness on my part, I am actually kind of furious and sad that I don't feel free enough to dress whichever way I like in the privacy of my own home!
I can no longer imagine having to repress this side of me for such a length of time as you and you know what? I DON'T WANT TO! [-(
And I am starting to feel the same about going outside dressed like this.
Why do I feel ashamed and afraid of doing something that I like that harms absolutely no one?
The people who make us feel like that, THEY should be the ones who feel ashamed! -,,-

Even though I am new here, I think this is the bestest place for you.
Here you will find people who can empathize with you. (--)

I may be a little late to this party, but just wanted to say that.
Ralitsa
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Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Ralitsa »

It is infuriating that many of us don't feel free to dress as we please, even in our own homes. While I am most assuredly out of the closet (because if I had any room to stand in my closets I'd go shopping and fill that right up) it is understandable that everyone has a different situation.
Anyway, I'm happy for what we have. There are people out there that will try to make us embarrassed and uncomfortable, who gawk and point and act obnoxious. But at least I don't live in Saudi Arabia where they would chop off my head in a heartbeat. Or in Pakistan where I would worry about my daughters being shot for going to school.
And everyone is not in a position to do it, but I will go ahead and flaunt it and dare them to ridicule me. In the last few years though I haven't even got many strange looks any more. Maybe people are getting used to it by now.
Anthony Simon
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Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Anthony Simon »

Ralitsa wrote:In the last few years though I haven't even got many strange looks any more. Maybe people are getting used to it by now.
My thought was maybe you've got used to it. I mean I once saw a guy standing in front of Harrods (well-known department store in the centre of London) wearing a nice LBD type dress. He wasn't even trying to pass - I mean he just looked like an ordinary, stylish 30 something guy of the sort you see so much of here. He was on his mobile, but otherwise I would have stopped and talked to him - he made me think of you.

He just looked so normal - I mean apart from then fact he was wearing a dress, it was like some vaguely provocative style/gender statement, but so what? Like that was the look of him - and the way he looked kind of made him unremarkable.

So, with you, maybe you've become so acclimatised to what you wear - like you've done it in so many different circumstances, with so many different people, that it really becomes no sort of deal to you at all. And then people see that - that it's just like you're going about your normal everyday business and they buy into the vibe you're producing.
Socrates: The highest wisdom is to know that you know nothing.

Bill and Ted: That's us, dude.
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Michelle Diane
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Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Michelle Diane »

Shayla, I'm in the same boat (or is that closet :) ) as you. I haven't had the nerve to come out yet to my wife but before we were married Michelle was out every single minute she could. For me there are few times I can dress round the house normally when my wife is away but that's okay.

You asked what's the best forum for you....Look no further as you've found it. I'm the supreme lurker and have been on many forums concerning CDing and this one felt the friendliest of them all. Some have a positively judgemental attitude to us who aren't "out" so I passed them by while some the mods will slap you down for a minor infraction. I was a member of another forum briefly and made a faux pa of saying 'ladies'. I got a email from a mod chastising me as "there are more than women on here" in a very snitty tone. Er sorry..... my bad.

Shayla I'm a newbie here myself but can honestly say this is the place for you the members are WONDERFUL!!!!
One wears a mask for so long you forget who you are beneath it......I've now removed my mask.
Ralitsa
Miss Ruby Goddess
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Location: center of North Dakota

Re: In the closet dressers

Post by Ralitsa »

You asked what's the best forum for you....Look no further as you've found it. I'm the supreme lurker and have been on many forums concerning CDing and this one felt the friendliest of them all.
Thank you Michelle! On behalf of all the Ladies and Gentlemen here I will be more than happy to accept that compliment :)
I hope that I am not one of those who comes across as being judgemental towards anyone who is not out. I personally really enjoy wearing the clothes I like in public, and strongly encourage everyone to do it. But at the same time I really do understand it is not the right choice for everyone. So if at times I get a bit overzealous, feel free to slap me up :lol:
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April Rose
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Re: In the closet dressers

Post by April Rose »

Alexia, I've got two words for you; "Window Treatments." This is one of those things that a lot of GG's understand, and a lot of males, even ones who know their way around a dress rack, can be clueless about.

There is no reason you can't enjoy at least the freedom of your whole house, without sneaking from room to room like a fugitive, even if your windows are right at the side walk. And you can do it in ways that let light in and let you see out, and that make for a cheery, comfortable living space. All of this without giving up your privacy.

When I say Window Treatments, it is more than just curtains or blinds; there are all kinds of options,sheers, insets, even radio controlled options that can be controlled by a remote or by your security system. To find exactly the right ones for your situation, you will probably have to get your girl on and do a lot of shopping. Even if you live in an inexpensive apartment, wouldn't it be worth it for your freedom? And you could always take them with you if you move. If you own your own house, it's a no brainer.

Just think of it as a pretty new outfit for your window.
I am a vessel of the Goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
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