Out and about...

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

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Anne Bonny
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Posts: 2577
Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
Location: The Gulf Coast

Out and about...

Post by Anne Bonny »

Oh..went to neighborhood market - out of the 30X36" pads and for the very first time as I had to walk back to a corner by the pharmacy down the cosmetic isle...for the very first time I was comfortable looking at them and not caring if anyone saw me looking at them. I did not stop to pick up and look at anything in particular but I am transgender so hey... I also use cosmetics. I suppose wow...I could really see my self coming completely out of the closet even perhaps be there dressed? Well...perhaps not quite yet but that is not beyond my imagining. And not that I would, even if "out," no longer be G, no I am still G probably more than I am Anne (using the names to symbolize my genders which tend to compete, or if not compete come to prominence. One or the other gender is more pronounced and that gender is felt and expressed over the other is what I mean.

I have thought...better watch it what if I just came out...but now later in the day writing this my more conservative judgement is telling me no. You know one day Anne could lead me to do something rash - but even now I can see how much better life would be if I chucked all the hiding and covering and just went for it. I think it would be best if the MIL passed or the wife were then no one in her family could cause a huge potential problem for me legally...I mean my fear is these knuckle dragging religious hicks could force me into lawyering up because they believe I should not be taking care of her anymore because I am transgender and out and in the deep south...they might get their way...who knows. So probably best to cool it until one or the other is gone. It's bad that I have to feel they would do such a thing but I honestly fear that they could? My son's are adults so their last weapon against me is my wife unfortunately I want to be done with them but if any later accept me I could keep communication open with them.
Go with the flow
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Ms. Erin
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Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:02 am
Location: Richmond Virginia

Re: Out and about...

Post by Ms. Erin »

Dear Anne,

In regards to coming out, every one of us girls live in different neighborhoods and in different lifestyles or family situations. We all are unique in some way and to be honest, I consider myself a lucky girl, as far as my coming out went. I came out rather quick after joining this forum, but in all I was looking for my identity for close to 15 years, on and off, or so.

This forum has helped me found the confirmation and things I needed to know. After I decided to come out and be 24/7, I have had nothing but positive experiences, anything is going so smoothly, I don't (hardly) even notice people looking at me. (some do, but hey I don't care what they think, it's my life)

Of course your situation is different and only you will know when you are ready to come out, if you do. There are lots of things to consider, your family, friends, work and people you mentioned around you.

Perhaps there is an CD-TG society near by where you can get in touch with others?

Erin
I am a woman of trans experience.
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Robyn
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Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2014 12:27 am
Location: Southern California

Re: Out and about...

Post by Robyn »

As Erin eloquently put it, we are all different. But you already know that Anne :-)

Although my feminine desires and habits begun many years ago they were kept private until recently, and now presenting Robyn in public is a regular occurrence; however, I didn't face any of the challenges you have. The way you describe your local sounds a bit barbaric. I apologize, and I'm certainly not trying to offend, but I've lived my entire life in a very liberal Southern California. From reading posts like yours it reminds me there are so many places whereas the culture is simply unforgiving.

I hope things get easier for you allowing you to be your true self.
Normal, just not average,
Robyn
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Anne Bonny
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Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
Location: The Gulf Coast

Re: Out and about...

Post by Anne Bonny »

It's a long road made for us largely by the social norms we were raised in and inundated with from the time we were born to this very day. I was 9 when all of this began to awaken inside of me. I explored and discovered my first experiences of the feminine part of who I am. The brainwashing of religion also torments and prevents us from accepting who we are. It has taken so long to work through all of this...I wish I were still in my late twenties or early 30s but I am 58...it has taken that long, but I can only look at the present and forward into the future. I am comfortable and like who I am full self acceptance has taken so long, and confidence. Now as I am opening that door, the weight of hiding is starting to fall away. Society is changing as well I am so relieved to see people aware of us, and really filled with hope because so many say such positive things about us there is growing awareness, improving understanding, and the openness of the more intelligent see we should be free to be who we are.

This morning I am sitting here at home in appropriate feminine attire, my leather sandals with my shiny red toenails, my size 12 Faded Glory jean shorts and panties, my bra with inserts and a white top, small hoops, readers, mascara and lipstick with my purse that I am getting used to using more and more.

I seem to be Anne in the mornings because my wife is resting, the son who lives here has gone to work and I do not feel any restraint from being who I am and that is an amazingly wonderful thing just to be who I am, no objections, no judgement just myself relaxing around the house this morning drinking my coffee, perusing the paper, and now the internet...Well I do have work to do outside later with the weed eater as the flowerbeds are overflowing with grass from all the rain. But that will be after I work with my wife clean her up, get her up, and feed her breakfast after that I change to do my 5k run. At my age exercise is something that is an absolute must and it is with quite positive acceptance and gratification at the results for me that I continue.

I was talking to one of my sisters who did not like me using messaging on FB cause I lost her email, she stated it could be hacked. My sisters are older and harbor mistrust....If she knew I was regularly discussing Anne and posting pictures with 3 GG friends on FB she would be aghast I suppose but she does not understand I suppose that I am a very open person, and that now If my femininity were spread online I would take it in stride. I am not insecure about who I am. The only real downside would be any in my wife's southern fried country bumkin conservative religious family knowing and their reaction. But what would it be? I never see them here anyway, and do not intend to continue a connection after my wife is gone unless some of them, knowing Anne openly extend acceptance to me and that could happen who knows. The local church I stopped attending a couple years back...well I do not care because they are not people I want to be around, deep down they all have that agenda inside of them meaning they would not accept Anne. No loss. I realized that my rationalizations to reach into faith in an effort to believe meant I never really believed any of it and confirmed to myself what I really know that I am an agnostic - live and let live.

So coming out completely to the world I see would be an extremely positive thing there really is nothing negative for me if I do it. I bet...I move in that direction because I am who I am, I have two genders within me and one or the other is present and expressing seemingly as the wind blows but also depending on what needs to be done like the edging, or working out in the yard vs lighter work or relaxing (in which either could be present).

I am at the beginning of the last phase I think and that is when we come out and be who we really are to everyone. I wonder If I will become Anne full time but I do not see that, SRS? do not see that either we can only be one sex why not be as I was born have to be something and I know transition is just not for me, Orientation mine is what it is and do not see that changing either I am secure and confident of these things. My uniqueness is and always will be a blend of my two selves which make a whole person. I have value, I am somebody. And this morning as I have said being Anne when she comes along fills me with joy and a beautiful amazing feeling how lucky we are to have this special gift. Such a shame as little boys we were not comforted, celebrated and welcomed and told not be be afraid being a girl is a wonderful thing and we should not feel bad at all about who we are. But that did not happen...Imagine if we had gradually been taken in and introduced to the feminine world as little boys....dress up...nails....given permission and celebrated... but we can only live in the present and move forward positively into the future to be who each of us are. For myself I am a blend of two genders that go back and forth and probably more centered on the male side it is hard to know because we live with the pressure to conform to the social norm and the noxious influence of religion trying to impose it's will on society all around us, screw them!

Well....here it is 13:30 and Anne's time is up, I have to go run, and edge and continue the days caregiving...I would rather continue being who I am I mean Anne could continue on longer but have to turn the page...
Go with the flow
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