Purchasing wigs in person(in drab)

[Shayla]

Purchasing a wig might be common to most of you ladies, but to me it's quite a challenge being a married closeted crossdresser.
The last time I dressed up, I told the post office to hold the package(wig ordered online) for me to pickup. Nevertheless, that was an ordeal in itself seeing how incompetent the post office was. If any suspicious package arrives at our house, my wife will see it. I used to have a secret storage bin, but that monthly bill added up.

Purchasing clothes, makeup, and shoes in person isn't a problem at all. But purchasing a quality wig at a boutique or wig shop in drab?


When I dressed up last year in New Orleans, I purchased a wig in person on Bourbon Street. The store clerk was very helpful and treated me well. But of course I was in New Orleans on Bourbon Street,so it probably wasn't uncommon to her. But I'm nervous about purchasing a wig in person in my area which may seem less 'natural' since it's such a personal item. I'm sure that I will get weird looks if I try to purchase one. Do men go out and buy wigs as gifts for their wives?

Ordering and/or purchasing breast forms are another issue as well. I would love to use one them day.

It's tempting to purchase a cheap wig at Party City with no effort. But I want Shayla to look her best with a high quality wig.

[Davita]

Okay, what makes you think no guy ever buys wigs where you are? If you need a lie, how about a costume party? How about you're an actor in a local play? Make up any lie you want. How about your wife is kinky and wants to see you in a wig?

What if you get an odd look? Heck you might get the odd look for the lie just as much as the odd look because you said it was for you. Customers might give you an odd look? Give it back. If a customer is getting fitted while you are shopping? Might as well take the moment to sneak peeks and see how the process works. The sales people fit anyone and everyone. They help anyone and everyone in every single store I have been in all over the place. Just this past Monday I was in one of my local beauty supply shops, drab. I was asking about temporary dyes and are they safe for synthetic hair. Will it wash out and how easy will it, etc. The salesperson didn't bat and eye and answered every question looking me in the eye like she would all her other customers. She knew full well I was shopping for me and it meant nothing to her other than to be helpful.

Yeah lots of us girls shop without concern because there is no reason to have any. You don't want to announce you're shopping for you? That's okay; why do you even have to say who you are shopping for? Someone might ask you; it's because helping will be improved when the saleperson knows for whom anything is for. Here's a simple example. If I went to Home Depot and was shopping for a weedbeater (as I call them) and I said it was for my mom, do you think the Home Depot guy/girl would take me over to the 500 HP ones with grass cutting swords or would (s)he take me over to the electric ones that are easy to hold, turn on and maintain?

Help the salesperson help you; the results will be better for you in the long run. If you're worried about strange customers? Then whisper or wait for the customer to move away.

As for a Party City wig? Some wig shops will sell a presentable wig for the price you will pay for a joke of a wig at Party City. Save Party City for Halloween. BTW, why is it okay to buy a Party City wig while drab but not a decent wig?

Build up that confidence girl; we want you happy with your shopping efforts. Avoiding the straightforward approach will likely cost you time and money in the long run that could be better spent.

[Shayla]

Thanks for the advice Davita,
Due to my limited experience in a wig shop, it just looks like a place that only women shop at and you'll immediately get singled out if you're a man. Kind of like a beauty parlor.

When I went to the wig shop in New Orleans, the woman helped me with no hesitation and all these questions like she saw right through me and knew that I was dressing up. I guess I didn't feel too bad because it was out of town and bourbon street. Though I'm not good with spontaneous answers or lying for that matter. I never admitted that I was dressing up, but I was a little embarrassed because I felt like she knew immediately. It was like she was used to running into closeted crossdressing men. For what it was worth, I did have a great time as Shayla that night. I'm a very private person, so I get self-conscious easily. Yeah, I know it doesn't go well with being a crossdresser right?

Party City is different because they just don't sell wigs and they cater to halloween. Plus it's a busy place where men and women shop. Where wig shops and boutiques offer a very personal experience for women. As soon as I walk into one, I know someone will immediately ask, is there something I can help you with? So I have to get my story straight before I walk in. I would be terrified if I were being fitted for a wig in drab. My biggest fear would be a store patron or clerk from my area seeing my face somewhere else with my family knowing that I bought a women's wig for myself. I know it's sounds crazy, but I'm going to have to build up my confidence

[DonnaT]

To obtain a wig that does you justice, you have to try it on. Thus the old "buying it for my wife" routine won't work.

Many wig shops have men for clients. Just call them on the phone and ask if they could fit you for a wig.

My wife took me to a local shop, and I sat there trying on different ones until we were all satisfied. She didn't like the one I bought online.

[Anthony Simon]

It was like she was used to running into closeted crossdressing men. For what it was worth, I did have a great time as Shayla that night.

I think that's the key statement right there. There can hardly be a wig shop anywhere that doesn't have CDs for clients. Nor, come to that, a store selling cosmetics. At one make-up place I asked, shopping in drab, if they any other clients like me. "Lots" was the answer.

I don't think I've ever had an outright bad experience in a wig shop (like I say I'm always in drab). The worst is some dirty looks from other customers (though even that's limited) and a kind of questionable vibe from a SA. I just keep going and it works out. AND I've had some absolutely great experiences. I mean wig-shopping is positively my favourite form of CD-related buying activity.

I agree with Donna that you simply can't know if a wig is right for you until you try it on. And, if you're going to spend serious money, you don't want to be buying the wrong stuff. I would just tell the truth - that it's for you - that way you're not hiding nothing and you can (mostly) relax.

My biggest fear would be a store patron or clerk from my area seeing my face somewhere else with my family knowing that I bought a women's wig for myself. I know it's sounds crazy, but I'm going to have to build up my confidence

It is probably better, like Donna says, to ring in advance. This means that they can arrange a time for you to come when you won't be bothered - and you won't bother other customers. That should remove the problems with other patrons. I very much doubt you'll have a problem with an SA - it is, after all, in their interest to treat their customers relatively well. If the store says no, there are loads of others that will say yes.

[Anne Bonny]

I was Stationed at Scott AFB about 15 miles outside of St Louis and in 2005 my wife moved ahead of me but to Alabama with the goal of completing her Alabama Retirement...she was 3 months short of being vested but due to dementia never got it - that was tragic.

I did not move down to my final Assignment until 2006 so I lived about 6-9 months completely free to dress. At that time I started investigating where I could purchase a wig in the St Louis area and found a shop in the eastern part of St Louis in a quasi rough neighborhood but safe enough I felt during the day time. I called ahead of time spoke with the owner an oriental woman who stated there was no problem.

I drove across the river and headed to the Wig shop, walking in there were people shopping, I was probably the only white male in the place and in drab...found the lady and nervously asked...she helped me to find a nice wig then sat me down and styled it for me. I believe the wig was around $35. I still have it on a Styrofoam head covered by plastic bags and kept in a box so that it is not smashed or exposed to light, air, and dust. I have taken very good care of it since.

I have moved past the wig though...at 58 fortunately I have a full head of hair, a little bit of thinning on top but no bald spots, just seems not as thick as it should be toward the back of my head?? I have allowed it to grow untouched and wild for 6 months. I can tell you having your own hair if you are able is much better than any wig.

I have an appointment on the 2nd with my wife's former hair stylist at Regis to have it cut and styled so that I can style it masculine or feminine...of course that means I have to get used to wearing my hair longer than it has been my entire life but many men would not consider my hair exceptionally long though being untouched for 6 months it is quite full and difficult to style masculine unless I wet it down and blow dry it using a comb so it lays flat and sweeps back over my ears.

Conditioning and a life time of hair not longer than about 2.5 inches being raised in a military family is very difficult to overcome psychologically...that is a fact.

Thing is I AM gender fluid and have been my entire life so longer hair is a recognition that I do need to compromise for the feminine spectrum of my fluid gender...I believe it's working because I do like feeling the hair and it looks great styled...it is a little longer than my current avitar. I suspect once styled it will probably be about where the avatar is then you see the stylist every 3 months as women do on average unless they are growing it out. Shoulder length takes I believe over a year...for a male with the standard 2.5-3 inches of hair when you start skipping the barber it would take probably 18 months and probably 2 years if you want truly long hair falling to between the shoulder blades...

Good luck. I went with a wig the same color as my natural hair, shoulder length and it looked great there may be an old photo in the photo gallery above.

[Martha G]

I would love to go to a wig shop and get a couple of new wigs.

I also would like to some nice breast forms as well. That way I can try them on and make sure that they are right. It's a pain to have to return merchandise.

[Eileen (SO)]

Ladies, wig shops, foundation wear, and breast form stores are quite used to male customers in any city. The SA's will break their back making sure you are comfortable while shopping and are satisfied with your purchase. They want good reviews and a returning customer.

Eileen

[Janet Bern]

I am right there with Eileen. I shop at bra shops, wig stores, dept stores and
am treated as a regular customer. I don't make up stories about why I am there.
I am there to buy a certain bra, skirt or is a wig store I want a wig that looks good on me.
I suggest you go more than 10 or 15 miles from your house. Remember, probably never see
the SA again in your life.. so who cares.

[KimberlyS]

If you are afraid of someone you know seeing you, then go farther from home. The sales people do not care and if it is a small shop and it is the owner, they really want to help you and make the sale. Call ahead if that makes you more comfortable. But twice now I have just gone into a shop and asked to try on wigs. In my experience, act like a serious shopper, be a serious shopper, be treated like a serious shopper.

Usually the biggest hurdle we need to over come is between our ears.

Enjoy!!!

[Ralitsa]

Lots of excellent advice here, so I'll just add one more thought for what it's worth.

Sometimes a beauty shop or salon will have a private area where they can help you and you need not worry about who may see you. There is one shop in Allentown PA that I really like (haven't been there in years though) and they specifically offered me a private room if I wished. And the routine way in which she offered it, gave me the impression that it was an extremely common thing for them.

So call ahead, make an appointment, bring along an outfit that you want to wear during the process because you certainly can't find a proper wig without the proper outfit, and do this right. The shop in Allentown I mentioned also does make-overs and gives lessons on the subject, so I'd look for a place that can get me made up first so I can see how it will really look. This is a big investment, you're going to be spending a lot of money - get your money's worth girl!!!!