Common Sense and Reason must prevail

General talk about CD/TGing and gender topics that aren't necessarily fun things we do while en femme, or for gender-driven discussions.

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Anne Bonny
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Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Anne Bonny »

Anyone who knows me is probably going to have a good laugh when I state I believe we should not over think being transgender....alright...go ahead....

I was on youtube last night and came across several posts by people who stated they had transitioned, lived that way then found out that it was a mistake after living that way for several years then reverted back with penile reconstruction, pump implantation and etc...

One person states it is all a delusion...that those like us suffer from a developmental problem at a young age...were cross dressed by another person at a young age who preferred them that way and encouraged them in that direction, or that they were abused, or had an alcoholic or drug addicted parent or parent figure. This person stated that we are suffering a delusion, a compulsion, and or a fetish which is extremely difficult to overcome but acknowledging two schools of thought by psychiatry he never the less advocated (and I suspect he is hiding his christian belief system)..."IF PROPERLY DIAGNOSED" no doubt by the psychiatrists who believe this is a mental disorder we can be helped to overcome our delusion/compulsion/fetish/developmental disorder...and become the gender we really are as males. He states sex determines our gender and we are not able to be any other gender than that which matches the sex we were born as.

Wow...yeah...Well I suppose you can be in turmoil and continue to struggle or you can ... as I have come to understand he is full of it! I was born this way, is what it is.

I am happy, I have lived it and I have worked with it most of a lifetime...I know who I am ... there's an end to it, don't over think any of this. We know better than any of these people do who we are.
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DonnaT
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by DonnaT »

No one person can speak for everyone else just based on their experience.

There are way more happy transitioning stories that there are stories of de-transitioning.
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Noeleena
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Noeleena »

Hi,

Yes correct life is a fantasy and maybe for some till they really do wake up or some dont and they live on in that fantasy so what happens to one is not how it is for every one ,

I quess this person has never met some one who is different from them self maybe if they did they may see that some of us are in fact born in a way that they wont understand and I quess this is the case here ,

I doubt what ever I said to this person would go straight over their head , so no point in telling some one like this about people like myself and I would not bother because I know they don't have the inner understanding that it takes to accept ,and I know quite few like this ,

This part of sex determines our gender is that so I can prove this is total wrong because my gender is nether male or female my sex is a mix of both male /female not just one or the other ,

Oh hang on sex is that not a brain function maybe I did not read that book ,,,,,,

And if I was >>> properly diagnosed <<< so called .
what the hell would I be the psych.s don't have a clue and never will , they cant handle us even the butchers like that so called dr did not know what to do so he made up a story and did a butchers job of surgery for his own ends what happened after, that child did not live a full life and toped him self .

So we are mental case,s , interesting only because they are not like us , we are a too hard basket case so write us off , so if they got to know us they may just find we have some lovely gifts they don't have and we are not really different , only in their eyes , if they would only open them they may just see beyond their so narrow view ,

I wonder if they would meet my friends and theres many would they really wont to and then find out they got it wrong, doubt it ,

...noeleena...
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Anne Bonny
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Anne Bonny »

Right...am who I am... and I like that bit "they may just find we have some lovely gifts they don't have and we are not really different , only in their eyes , if they would only open them they may just see beyond their so narrow view." I am a well rounded person, ready for just about anything, and able to do just about anything as well. I am not one dimensional and under normal circumstances love to enjoy life. Ok...so I may not be able to find another partner when my wife finally passes out of her misery because they refuse to see. Sad isn't it. I will just have to continue on and be happy someone may come along.
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Diana Michelle
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Diana Michelle »

As one who has been through transition back in the dark ages of the early 1980's I feel I may be at least a little qualified to jump in here. I have heard of people who have been in the early stages of transition who for whatever reasons have opted to go back. Not sure what the statistics are on this but I would have to believe it is a very small percentage. I have never heard of anyone going through a second SRS to return to their birth gender. Granted if one sees it on YouTube it must be true, after all everything on the internet is true. :lol:

I think the world in general, as well as some here, tend to think that all transgenders are the same. Well girls I hate to break it to you but we are all different and there are many levels of transgenderism. To lump all of us together as the same does us as much justice as the bigots out there. While we are all sisters and support each other let us not forget to celebrate our diversity!
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did only she did it backwards and in high heels!

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
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April Rose
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by April Rose »

While it sounds like this YOU TUBE person had an agenda, there are cases of of people who have transitioned surgically and then regretted it. Dr Renee Richards comes to mind. It is not common, from what I understand, but it is more common among those who transition late in life than in those who transition at a young age.

I have only met a few transexuals in my life. None of them had regrets. I think the point here is, as Anne's title suggests, "Common sense and reason must prevail". Surgery is a serious decision, and not to be taken lightly, not to be rushed into. Live as a woman long enough to be sure that's what you really need before going under the knife.
I am a vessel of the Goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
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Gillian
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Gillian »

If a person thinks that all of their problems will go away if they just changed gender...they are really deluded. People change jobs, spouses, cities and they are still the same with the same problems. Gender resignment is not to be considered lightly!
So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of there labor, for these are gifts from God.
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Anne Bonny
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Anne Bonny »

I agree with all. I find ...as today...when I am fully dolled up...you know...my new forms...hose...full make up...longer hair that I can now style, in fact my hair looks better when I style it feminine than it does when I try to style it masculine. I know...my gender is fluid and I am more frequently on the masculine side of the spectrum and when on that side...it's ok not much to think about there yet when I feel the need to shift and I move over as I have today...I notice I feel so much better about myself and am glad that I am able now to dress as Anne and be a girl whenever I desire it is usually only for a few hours and tends to resolve in the early afternoon as I change to go for my run then get back shower and change back over to my male side.... I am so glad that I am able to dress however my gender is leading me to dress nearly whenever I desire now and I realize I am so lucky that I am surrounded by supportive women who do not mind. Most are professional staff but they are fully supportive. I feel I have no male friends because I do not feel that I fit really with men because of my femininity.

Do I fantasize and think about how wonderful it would be to have a body indistinguishable from that of a female? Sure I do but my head tells me short of having my ears pierced, maintaining my weight and grooming and hair... surgery is probably not the right move for someone like myself. I think... hum... hormones? ah but then you have an inability to get and keep an erection! so no. I do want to find a woman who understands none of this makes any difference other than in my appearance and how I feel inside (my gender shifting).

So...I will never face regret. Somehow I do not believe I would regret it if I were to transition. The only thing that changes is you can no longer stand in the bathroom...I would have to be more careful with hygiene, and how I would experience sex would change...I like women but there are ways I suppose....But since I love women it is much better to be able to please them, and also be pleased when they seek to love me.
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Martha G
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Martha G »

I thoroughly enjoy dressing as a woman and becoming more feminine and presenting myself as a woman

Also being dressed and acting as a woman, I become oh so much more relaxed and less stressed out as well as looking and feeling much younger.

I have been practicing my feminine mannerisms as well as my near natural woman's voice.

I delight in being as a woman and one day maybe will spend a lot more time as Martha.

However, I would not like to transgender to become a woman.

Dressing and actions are the way I would like to be a woman, even if one day I was able to become Martha 24/7.
I AM NOW A WOMAN- I FOUND MYSELF
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Anne Bonny
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Anne Bonny »

Transsexual...I do not believe a transition would be right for myself either. Dressing...well I am spending of late increasing my feminine wardrobe it is so large...but you know it should be as large or perhaps larger than my masculine wardrobe because of all the different combinations and styles of things to wear. We are all different, If I am more feminine in anyway when I am feeling feminine internally...I am not aware of much. I make no attempt to adapt mannerisms or a feminine voice because it would require a conscious and concerted effort for me to do so...nope...I just carry on in feminine attire when I am feeling feminine internally. I cherish just being who I am, I am a genderfluid male...why hide it? I do believe I could possibly be mistaken for a woman because my make up skills, my hair, my concerted effort to maintain my true weight at 162 pounds giving me a size 10 waist for a 5'9" man...I shave my legs and have my nail polish etc and If what I wear is not flattering to me as a female I do not wear it...I am still learning what works for me and we all have a different style and personality. So I believe my appearance while not perfect I have been out and I have not noticed anyone paying any attention to me, driving I am sure I pass...

I am lucky in that I am retired, Our sons are out of the nest and pretty much on their own, just my wife who is total care and advanced Alzheimer's. I have no friends so I am free to dress as much as I desire. My and her family live far enough away that they call if coming, but I have not seen my sisters in 5 years, and her mother is the only one who comes for just 4 hours every other week and is so old a friend has to drive her over. So I am very lucky after all of these years to finally be able to breath and be who I am, about time!!
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Tamroi
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Tamroi »

Common sense and reason tell me that
breast enhancement is fine
but castration and penis removal is a bad idea.
It does not make one biologically female,
it is not healthy, and it squelches a lot of fun.
It seems a mixed-up shame.
I would like to hear any disagreements,
especially of course from anyone who has done it.
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Heather W
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Heather W »

Tamroi wrote:Common sense and reason tell me that
breast enhancement is fine
but castration and penis removal is a bad idea.
It does not make one biologically female,
it is not healthy, and it squelches a lot of fun.
It seems a mixed-up shame.
I would like to hear any disagreements,
especially of course from anyone who has done it.
As one who is transitioning with the eventual goal of GRS I think I may be somewhat qualified to speak here Tamroi. Those of us who undergo transition, GRS, etc. do so to correct nature's mistake. To simplify it think of it as why is there an eraser on a pencil or a backspace key on your computer keyboard? To correct mistakes you or someone else may have made of course. That is why we transition and seek GRS. No it will not make me a "biological" female. Only Mother Nature can do that and for some unknown reason she goofed so I am correcting that mistake. It is not a "mixed up shame" nor does it "squelch a lot of fun" but rather allows me to be the true me. To have my outside gender appearance match my inside one.

I, as well as any other individual who goes through transition and GRS, know and accept the physical constraints of what we become. As an after surgery female I know I will never bear children, certainly that is not how you visualize females, yet it is the road I decided to take. A road I took willingly and happily and have never for a second regretted.
The time is always right to do what is right
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Anne Bonny
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Re: Common Sense and Reason must prevail

Post by Anne Bonny »

I agree. transitioning is the right course for some but not for all. I will have my ears pierced...I am so tired of clip on's...Hormones? Well... I do enjoy sexuality and all that goes with it...If I could do hormones for the soft skin, the curves, the change in mentality but still be able to fully perform as a male I'd do it but from what I hear/know there is some withering or atrophy of the testis if they do not stop working completely...and getting it up probably becomes very problematic...it would function more like a clitoris which would just not work if you love women!!

Having implants? Well depends...I have longer hair and love it!!! better than any wig! Perhaps some A cup sized breasts would still allow me to present as a male which I am of course but to have a full proportional size B or C cup...would mean they would be there all the time and you could not hide them...ever...but I do believe when I am feeling feminine I would be in nirvana!!! especially when in bed with a lover...but when I am feeling rather more masculine I could not hid my breasts, and they would not be wanted.

Well I stop at ear piercing, long hair, feminine grooming with respect to hair, nail polish, being fit and at my correct weight and not overly muscular..I stop at push ups and sit ups and running. Oh and Make up. With all of these I am very satisfied Hormones and implants for myself I believe probably should stay at just a dream, why have size A implants...as one of the nurses who came said when I told her I had my A Cup inserts in ..."If I was going to have breasts I would have them!" meaning B or C...appropriate sized breasts that show!
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