so i told my girlfriend tonight

[Rachele Jo]

i told my girlfriend about my dressing tonight. now i have to wait to see if we will still be together. the plus side is we talked for about 3 hours after i told her. she asked questions and i answered truthfully even the one about giving up dressing for her.

[Michelle Diane]

A question if I might be so bold.
When you told her and talked for three hours about it what was her response in regards to body language, tone of voice, facial expressions? You can tell a lot about a persons reactions and feelings by non vocal clues.

Good thing is you talked for a good long while about it. When I came out I know my wife was full of questions which I answered truthfully and like you I said I would forget the whole thing for her and mine turned out all right hopefully yours will as well.

[Rachele Jo]

We where siting in my car so nor a lot of body language. Her jaw did drop and she got wide eyed.

[Mikaela]

Very brave indeed. No doubt not an easy thing to do, but the right thing. Keep us updated on how it goes. Encourage her to join here so she can get an understanding over everything from a wider view.

[KimberlyS]

Rachele Jo i hope it continues to go well. Keep the communication open and honest.

[Rachele Jo]

So she is still thinking about it. She hasn't really been responding to my text like normal.

[Emily]

Good for you for telling your gf, Rachele Jo. Not an easy thing to do - believe me, I know...

It may take some time and things may never be quite the same, but at least you told her. Give her time to take all things into consideration - sometimes partners understand and accept. Keep the communication open and hopefully it will all work out for the best for the both of you.

[Rachele Jo]

she cant accept my dressing and i care for her to much to lose her. i decided to try to give up dressing for her. the way her and i felt is something i never want to feel again. maybe in time she will change her mind about it. thanks to everyone i talked to on here you gals were a huge help to me.

[KimberlyS]

Sorry she can not accept your dressing. Trying to pack up your femme side is going to be a hard road and I wish you the best with that. Just be carefull going into a relationship where she is not going to accept all of who you are. Try to keep the communication open and maybe some day she may be more open minded and accepting. We are here if you need us.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Michelle Diane]

So sorry to hear she can't accept your dressing. I know what you mean when you say you care to much to lose her. It was over 15 years before I plucked up the courage to tell my wife and she walked in on me in full make up so the cat was out of the bag. Give her some time and as they say small steps.

[Paulette]

However, . . .

You know from all the life stories here that the need to dress will probably not go away just because you want it to. So prepare a safe place and a safe way to dress, now. You may feel this is cheating on your promise, but instead think of it as coping with both of your needs in the kindest way possible.

And you can always drop in here, for a while, and relax among friends.

[Emily]

You know from all the life stories here that the need to dress will probably not go away just because you want it to. So prepare a safe place and a safe way to dress, now. You may feel this is cheating on your promise, but instead think of it as coping with both of your needs in the kindest way possible.

I tend to agree with Paulette. I myself have just recently come to the conclusion that I can't give up dressing for anyone. I'd been able to turn it off and on for years, but that switch must be broken because it won't turn off anymore...

We all have our choices to make. I don't think that we want to see anyone hurt or upset by what we do, but we can't deny ourselves either. If this is just a phase which can easily be dropped, that's OK -- you will do fine, Rachele Jo. If its something more... than definitely take Paulette's advise!

[Anthony Simon]

I, like most CDs, have tried to give it up - and it just doesn't get given up. So then you're stuck with a problem.

I think the CDing is liable to come back and then Rachele Jo will be stuck with either repressing it some more, doing it and pretending not, or telling and probably facing decisive rejection.

[Paulette]

Even in my last marriage I continued to dress. She thought it was a feature, not a bug. Her daughter offered to do my nails. How much more in CD Heaven could I be. And even though it was less frequent and less urgent, I still had to dress.

It took a long time to come to terms with my CD, and realize and accept that it wasn't something that I did - it was something that I was. Through three wives, four shrinks, and countless purges. I was, am, and always will be a cross dresser. From 1944 on.

As the button below suggests: Submit

[Rachele Jo]

I do appreciate all the advice. I know the struggle this won't be my first attempt not sure if it will be my last. I hope in time she can come to terms but for now I am going to try because i want to be with her more than dress. Thanks everyone.