Bathrooms...

[Samantha]

Hi girls, I have a question about the topic of public bathrooms. Dressed out do you still use the mans bath, or the women's? I have not been out in public yet, and this topic mortifies me. There are more non gender specific bathrooms happening in Colorados front range, but not everywhere. Any thoughts?

Samantha



*** Topic moved to proper forum by SL. ***

[Ralitsa]

there was a long thread with a discussion about this, several years ago. Probably you could search the archives for it.

Myself, I don't have a definite rule for it. The vast majority of the time I'm wearing something like slacks and a top, and if I'm not wearing jewelry or make-up then it's obvious I'm a guy and I'll use the mens. But if I'm wearing a dress, heels, nylons, make-up and jewelry and am somewhat more passable, I'll use the ladies.

This is an annoying dilemma and is my biggest difficulty with dressing. When I can, I try to find the unisex or family bathroom option. Hopefully things get better now with all the media attention, and the rising popularity of gender fluidity.

[Carole Hill]

Personally, I cannot imagine going into a men's room while presenting as a woman. On the other hand, you do need to look as good as at least some women to avoid creating a disturbance. Good luck!

[Samantha]

Thank you for the feedback! I'll keep sorting it out of what I feel comfortable with.

[Ashleykal]

Samantha. I generally use the ladies facilities when out dressed. I have never had a problem whilst doing so. You need to ensure you are fully passable and are descreat. Remember to just act as a lady and you will be fine.
Ashley

[Samantha]

Thanks for the input. We will see..., Im pretty sure I'd pass, but thats always subjective.

[Samantha]

Miss Saphire Goddess from Minnesota..., SKOL! GO VIKINGS! We beat the back in our new stadium to kick off the season...SKOL

[DonnaT]

Unless one has medical or age related issues, one should be able to go most of the day not having to use public facilities.

Additionally, if one is concerned, familiarize yourself with the restroom situations before going out. One can find family use restrooms and even single stall restrooms in a number of places.

[Samantha]

Thanks DonnaT, great points.

Samantha

[Eileen (SO)]

Samantha,

No reflection on your honest question, the politics has made this bathroom issue tedious. No one is checking your DNA before using a public washroom. I've most likely shared facilities with dozens of CD's or Trans women and had little clue.
My views are rather basic. There are two genders, dress and act like one of the two. When you dress as a woman, use the Ladies and act like one. That means sitting down to pee. You don't have to dress to the nines to pass, 5 or 6 should do.

Recent bathroom laws have brought your community under more scrutiny and less acceptance. Well enough should have been left alone.

Since you haven't been in public yet, try a couple short trips to get used to it before having to heed nature's call.

Eileen

[KimberlyS]

For myself, when I present a masculine image to the world, I use the masculine restroom. When I present a feminine image to the world, I use a feminine restroom. My rule of thumb is, look the part, go in, find an empty stall, sit, pee, wash hands, exit. I do not spend extra time in there, especially if someone else in in there. If no one else is in there I may do a quick hair or makeup touch up, but very quick one. Single stall restrooms are the best. I have never had any problems using the woman's restrooms.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Samantha]

Thanks Ggodess and Kimberly. I've ventured out and had some success as being a lovely woman.

Samantha

[Emily]

Out and about in Toronto a couple weeks ago, I noticed signage on the washroom doors stating to feel free to "use the washroom best suited to your gender identity" or something similar to that effect... I can't remember the exact wording, but definitely had myself one of those WOW! moments. Wouldn't it be great if there were more establishments that were so upfront and crystal-clear regarding this ongoing issue???

[Eileen (SO)]

Lexi, this type of sign and policy is exactly what I have a problem with.
The sign says nothing about presentation, only feelings. So now we can have a genetic man that identifies as female but hasn't yet committed to any HRT or hair removal, come off a day of work with beard and men's clothing should use the Woman's facilities based on feelings?

At the same time, CD's like my husband who identify as men but enjoy dressing as woman have to use the Men's? Doesn't make one bit of sense.

There has been an unstated policy for hundreds of years until recently. You look like a woman, use the Ladies, you look like a man, use the Men's

Eileen

[Emily]

Lexi, this type of sign and policy is exactly what I have a problem with.

Point well taken, Eileen. Presentation vs. feelings... absolutely. I agree. But as mentioned, I couldn't remember exactly what the sign said - but I would assume that most would use at least some common sense... I don't think anyone would purposefully abuse this policy. I believe that If someone says they identify as a woman, but still look like a dude then yes... use the men's. If a CD is presenting herself as a woman, then use the ladies room.

The point that I was really trying to make was that at least there are some places where you don't need to feel worried about which facilities you should use. At least there is some sort of proactive policy being implemented. I know that for me, if I was out and presenting as female, I would feel comfortable in knowing which washroom to choose. I don't think I would have that same comfort somewhere else.