What is your response to this question?

[Anne Bonny]

This is from a post...the question asked was if you had to write your obituary tomorrow...and look back at what you've done with your life and your achievements...Would you be happy writing it or would you feel massively unfulfilled? And some lady looking at that actually said no, I don't feel that if I died tomorrow that anything I have actually  really done in my life warrants any real mention  of achievement. That is a really poignant thing to dwell on for a moment I think for anyone...She took time off from work to travel. So yeah...If I looked back at my life would I really be happy with what I've done? Have I achieved the things I want to do or would I try to achieve the things I really want to do?  Great question...so I answered her. 

I did 20 years...Navy and Air Force combined as an RN have an AA, BA, BS N, MSN, certifications CDE diabetes education, CAN ambulatory care nursing. I worked very hard giving my best to help people, advocate for them. Have two great sons one prelaw all A's very focused and ambitious...the other married kids, in the Fire Department. I have cared for my wife declining with Alzheimer's deasease for 8 years and still going laying down my life she was my whole world. After this? Well just renewed my license. once she is gone we will see...still what have I done? There is not alot there. Retired as a Captain...I worked but did not make rank. bit of a failure really...have never felt good about myself. I am gender fluid...least I feel I know and accept who I am that is a good feeling. I sail...and run 3.16 miles every day, 100 sit ups...45 push ups...52 hand grip reps...Have an old Triumph Spitfire with two carbs...ha! got her up to 92mph one day when she was a single carburetor. I do still have more to give in some way. but it is time to have fun at 59... I agree with the others...you have helped and inspired many people hurting inside and struggling to figure it all out. Yes, you are a caring person and are an inspiration for us. You have a lifetime ahead of you to contribute...you can adopt or do the surrogate parent thing...if that bothers you. I wanted kids...but haven't a clue about parenting...GI Bill...money set aside for them...scouts, sports, travel...roof over their head food direction but at age 12 and 14 my wife the mother left clueless me to parent. wow...so if you feel you need to do that do it...don't regret. but not everyone is a parent...there are many ways to feel your have done something significant go for it gal! you will run circles around most everyone...I am impressed. you do have what it takes...go for it whatever it is. Good luck to you!

It is important to do whatever brings and makes you feel happy and fulfilled. One of those things is being who I really am on the inside.

[Stephanie M]

The only meaningful achievements in my life would be raising my daughter and loving my wife. Everything else wouldn't be important to those I leave behind.

[Anne Bonny]

Yes those are very important significant, meaningful, fulfilling and make you feel happy but you do not feel there is anything more? Personally? I suppose If I had to write my obit tomorrow I do have things to chalk up on the board to make a mark. I have worked and achieved. Oh I was a cabinet maker in business with my mom and dad. I do not know that once everyone who knew us personally in any way are also gone there is little left like the billions who have already lived through history and who have been gone hundreds of years. Ultimately all of who we are and have done vanishes from all but perhaps some obscure records with some of our personal information on them.

The thrust of the question really is aimed at what is fulfilling personally to us, and what makes us feel happy? So that as we near the end we have no regrets and can think...well, I had a really great life! Are there any personal achievements that will give us a personal sense of accomplishment?

True our families may remember us but in just a generation or perhaps two no one with have any clue about us at all we will ultimately vanish really from all recorded history...and who even cares, we certainly won't if there is a picture of us here and there, official documentation here and there.

We I suppose do hope that people loved us and that they will miss us and remember us...well until they too are gone.

Yeah, I have done some things, have sons...I am glad I have found an inner joy and happiness in being who I am as a person...yes...I am on the feminine side internally it does not matter what others may think if this makes me feel happy and fulfilled...and it does. I am able to simply be who I am. I am not sure where all of this will take me but I have found an inner glow and I am pleased with that.

[Stephanie M]

The reality Anne is, yes part of me would like to be remembered for something I did long after I am gone. It's human nature to want to be famous to some degree.

However if my guardian angel showed up to me and showed my impact on the world I imagine it would be greater than I could dream of. Nothing big, nothing major but, in lots of little ways I believe I have touched other people's lives and did a small part to make the world better. Which I would rather have than monuments, street names, or being in a history book.

I come from a Polish background my mother in law traced my family and found that gravesites there are leased for 20 years. Which kind of makes sense 20 years after most of us are gone there will be no one to visit that grave and no one will remember we lived unless our names pop up on ancestry.com.

When it's my time I know there will be a ton of regrets because like every human we do bone-headed things from time to time, however my goal is to die knowing that at least I tried to always do the right thing.

[Anne Bonny]

Exactly! My wife is half Polish...Sagan was the name and they came from "Topvo" near the border with Russia. Her grandmother said when she asked "We were Peasants." My wife was big boned and stout a sturdy woman but very smart had her RN, BSN, MSN, and DNS and taught at 4 different universities some more than once following me around during my military Nursing career...she taught nursing.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

interesting

Unsere Leute sind Pole und gehen zurúck zu 1226 und wir sind eng mit Litauen verwandt,

our people are pole and going back to 1226 and we are close related to Lithunanians so not German by decent though maybe some we are Slavic,

grandmother is = Gloistein so we are not so far removed after all. a common bond by default,

Beeindruckend = wow......

...noeleena...

[Anne Bonny]

I am something like 54% British Isles per 23 and me genetics....Of course north western Europe broadly as were my parents...France, Germany, a tiny percent Scandinavian. I really like my heritage. People used to tell me I had Indian features...very scant beard, kind of high cheek bones...NOPE! Also with a Southeastern United States heritage North Carolina, Virginia, and I think Memphis Tennessee and Northern Mississippi...No African American. Nothing but lowland Scots, Irish, and primarily English.

I am not too interested in ancestry though because all the genetics run together and are rather muddy if you consider after just a couple generations...Parents 2...who came from 4...who came from 16...who came from 32...who came from 64! and so on...so we bear no true relation other than bits and pieces of our DNA to that of our ancestors...most of mine comes from a pool of DNA out of the British Isles. That's about all I can say and looking at myself I look to the general characteristics of people from Great Britten and I see it...how I look, eye color, hair, face and body build...my fastidious tinkering nature...kind of like Robinson Caruso...(Selkirk). You have to look at the general characteristics of the nation your genes came from and they sure enough...they are there. Really it is just fun to think about but not too much...move along.

[Amanda R]

In response to the original question I would have to say yes I am happy with what I have accomplished in my life up to this point. I have my Bachelor's and am working on my Masters. I have a family who loves and accepts me as the person I am, a man who loves me. and I feel like a whole person. I did add the qualifier of "up to this point" as I am only 25 and feel I have a full and rewarding life ahead of me with things to accomplish and people to help.

[Anne Bonny]

I am envious of those who are so young and who are able to overcome everything, figure it all out and are able to live openly and proceed positively on with their lives when they are still beautiful.

I think my generation...born in 1957...wow this was not only completely unknown by most in the late 60's all the forces made it extremely difficult to come out I think but then again in many ways nothing has really changed except today it is something people know about, there is some acceptance, and there is an internet full of information, videos and support groups...none of that existed for us...here I am at 59 but no regrets I just forget all of that and move ahead. 59 is the new 49...really! could even be the new 39...I am in the best shape of my life and feel great let's go on for decades more!

[Diana Michelle]

If I were to write my obituary yes I would have to say yes I am satisfied with my life, what I have accomplished, and what I have done for others. I do wish though the one thing people would say about me when I am gone is "she cared."

[Anne Bonny]

Yeah, me too...I have done enough to be satisfied and you are right the most important thing is that we have done things which helped others in the end. Great.

[Debbie Jean]

My answer to this question would be a cut and paste that I will do from part of my farewell message at the end of my autobiography, so here goes:

So when the Lord comes and taps me on the shoulder and says “It’s time", then I will take leave of all of you for just a little while. So what do I want to be remembered for? What do I want my legacy to be? Just two things:

#1 Jack Benny was a role model, a hero to me when I was growing up. I admired him for his ability to extract humor from the most tragic of situations. I believe God has given me that gift also. As Mark Twain once said: “Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand”. I want to be remembered for that, for lightening people’s burdens by bringing laughter into their lives at their darkest hour (in a kind and gentle and loving way, of course). I think there is always a risk when attempting to bring laughter to a person who is emotionally hurting. It doesn’t always work. My attempts could go sour and turn a person’s sorrow or grief into a storm of anger, directed against me. I am aware of that possibility and I am willing to take that risk, for the simple reason that I believe it will go better for me on Judgement Day if I can say that I’ve used my God-given gift to try to comfort people at their time of sorrow, rather that hiding that gift.

#2 More importantly however I believe all of us were put on earth to make life easier for one another, as opposed to being a “pain in the butt” to others. Is Corrine better off for having me in her life? I realize that sometimes I’ve been a real pain in the butt to her as well as at times being a joy to her. I can only hope and trust that God will “tip the scales” in my favor on Judgement Day. Is my sister better off? How about all the other people in my life? I hope the answers to these questions will be positive ones. I believe that is what God will ultimately judge me (us) on.

So, until we meet again, keep ‘em smiling, keep ‘em laughing, carry on the good work!

The Lord bless you and keep you!
The Lord let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you!
The Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace!

Just my 2c worth.

hugs,
Deb

[Heather W]

If I had the opportunity to write my own obituary would I be satisfied with what I have accomplished?

Interesting question because I was raised not to look back rather look forward. It is about what you have done or what you can do? Regardless of age I would hopefully wonder what else I could have accomplished, what I could still do, and how I can help. I know pretty deep, guess when you are looking at life altering surgery you tend to get a bit philosophical.

To answer the question, yes I would feel I have lived a full life. Sure there is more I hope to do and accomplish but I am pleased to now.

I do wish though the one thing people would say about me when I am gone is "she cared."

Yes Diana for myself and I think most others who know you would very easily and truthfully say and believe "she cared."

[DonnaT]

I pretty much satisfied.

Sure, there are some things I could have done better, givve 20/20 hindsight, but overall, I've done pretty well.

[Rikki]

"Rikki helped and made people happy"

I hope that's what I leave behind some day. Famous, not really - but liked by many. Rich, not at all - but have a wealth of experiences and loving times. Did I get everything I wanted in life? No. But I got everything I needed and more. Am I satisfied in the end, yes. Did I make a difference, yes, I'm pretty sure I did. Will I be missed? I hope so.


Rikki