We should defend the term Sissy

[Anne Bonny]

I wish that the term sissy was not loaded with slurs and horrible connotations. Sissy after all is the correct term for a male who is like a tomboy is on the female side. Unfortunately the term sissy has been so badly corrupted by society...in the exact same way men who cross dress have been. It is so badly corrupted that even people in our community will argue that it is a bad term. Definitions even state as acceptable that the term Sissy is a derogatory name for someone, especially a man or boy, who seems weak or cowardly, or who acts in a stereotypically feminine way.

People who call others sissies aren't just insulting the so-called sissy. They're also implying that there is something weak and fearful about being a girl or a woman — it's the same as telling a boy, "You throw like a girl." It's unkind and also inaccurate. Sissy comes from sister, and its earliest use to mean "effeminate man" was in the late 1800s.

So! Sissy comes from sister and meant an effeminate man.... Even in this definition the sexist condemnation of women by men is why this term acquired it's bad connotations. It is made very clear that women are also slurred here as being weak and fearful and that being like a woman is a bad thing, something that is negative and awful, unacceptable, inferior and definitely that any man who is like a woman is to be condemned.

But being a woman is a very positive thing! They are strong and brave they would defend those they love to the death! They are kind, loving and caring... They are brilliant. So...Why is being like one of your sisters a bad thing!? It isn't!!! I think we should defend the term because it is the correct term that is the opposite of a tomboy...women who exhibit qualities that are considered to be like men are tomboys and men who exhibit qualities that are considered to be like women are sissy's. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using these terms and I think we should defend the term sissy from condemnation by correcting people and defending women and that being a woman is a very positive thing that it is quite positive for a man to be like a woman if they are!

I am not overtly effeminate...in mannerisms or in speech...but I am in more subtle ways mentally and in my manner of dress in the clothing I like to wear, and in how I like to groom myself, and in how I feel internally much of the time in some of my interests, preferences, and emotions. I may not "swish" or lisp...but I do share some of the same mental qualities that would be assessed to be more feminine than masculine. I do not share all of the qualities because I am still a man but I am not like other men...there is a difference inside of me.

[DonnaT]

Sissy has too many different connotations to defend, as a CD.
More indefensible than tranny.
IMHO

[Amanda R]

I tend to agree with Donna here.

Although there is no true male alternative to tomboy perhaps the best and most acceptable is effeminate male. Perhaps the real issue here is what society defines as "sissy." The schoolyard taunts of "you throw like a girl" which is an actual thing as women tend to throw from the elbow and men from the shoulder or because a man shows emotion he shows emotion he is a sissy are societal expectations passed down generation to generation. They are nothing more than labels and compartmentalization.

Sadly many terms of bygone days had been twisted and contorted to very different and yes sometimes negative connotations. Think of words like ba$tard or b!tch. Rather than trying to make labels acceptable why not work to eliminate labels and have everyone seen as they are individuals each unique. Instead of thinking of terms like black or white, Asian or WASP, gay or straight, male or female, even TG or not try thinking of terms of brother or sister, friend or someone I have yet to meet. Yes see everyone as unique and equal.

[Anne Bonny]

I can see that and agree. Labels are not the way to think about any of this, can see that too. We are individuals. There is a guy I run into who is as you say effeminate in his way... I have always thought to myself that we share a lot in our way...I am not overtly in my mannerisms neither am I entirely mentally...I have been told by someone that they were shocked to find how I am and that they would never have guessed from my outward persona. I suppose all that I can say as an individual then is that I happen to be more as women are mentally in some says and these feelings lead me into desiring to match that outwardly at times so that I can feel at peace. Sometimes these feelings are stronger than at others being human and subject to all the things that happen in life that we must contend with our mental state does alter...stress, moods, emotions, preferences, transient desires hopes and needs it is just part of the human condition.

Things I am having to deal with ...son's AC went out...and I know what is coming...expectation I will just pay whatever the cost without ever expecting any return...My younger son living here post graduation from college until he leaves to teach English half way around the globe in Japan for who know's how long. An older sister with traditional values coming for a visit...and I largely having to hold myself in...dulls and suppresses me. No one would think me anything but your average man well the psychologist knows, as did the one I used to see and a very few close trusted friends.

Yes, I am not as most men are...I am different internally in some ways, but I am not really fully as women are never have been, never will be still that side of who I am is there. I wish I could be who I am because all of me is there inside all of the time but I have never been able to just be myself because I am unwilling to have to go and find new family figures or friends and neighbors...I have the neighbor I have, family is my only true family, and not all friends can be know all of who I am or I would lose them and I am desperately fighting to bring people into my life after all of the losses I have suffered...at my age the clock is ticking 20 years? 30? any after that and each day is probably a gift.

Mentally who I am is very subtle...I have had a friend tell me she is able to communicate with me better than with other men, and that I am like talking to any of her girlfriends and that she can share things with me she would not share with others. This and my occasional desire to enjoy and to express who I am inside in the preferences I make outwardly because I do enjoy being who I am. This is who I am. There is no label but I suppose we all know this would make me similar to women who are as I am on the other side.