Cross dressers behaving badly...

[Anne Bonny]

Youtube...I see where much of the criticism of cross dressers comes from. To each their own... and I am not judging but what I have seen does bother me.... #1 is our focus being on ourselves...the clothing...how they feel...and strutting around. #2 behavior I have seen ... I remember seeing an elderly cross dresser entering a walmart very inappropriately dressed in a provocative red dress, feathers, stilettos. It was embarrassing even for me - this is part of what people see and criticize us for. #3 how can you argue with youtube videos where one of our sisters is outside her home talking in hushed tones then putting her hands on her breast formed breasts in a state of obvious sexual excitement? There are lots of videos of things like preening before the cameras, or walking in public... or whatever!

It is great that we I suppose in our own ways enjoy ... whatever, but! If you happen to really be feminine inside of yourself, and have achieved self acceptance...yes, this is who I am, always have been and always will be until I die...then at some point you realize it is time to fix your gaze on other things...like living your life and oh yeah, back of your subconscious you gravitate to wearing whatever you desire that is reasonable for your day.

I have noticed most of this daily living is ... well it is nice to be who I am...but the clothing like underwear, jeans and a top with basic jewelry and make up is...and a lot of what women wear really is as boring as what I wear when I am settled into my guy side. Daily dressing, night gowns, running clothes etc are what they are. And I am listening to the markets, feeding the dog, making and drinking my coffee, reviewing the bills, thinking about my day and how I will use it. What I am beginning to realize is I like who I am and I am still enjoying just being able to be who I am. It is a bit different from being a guy...I can shop for dresses, skirts, tops and shoes...and if I am really feeling fem I may opt for such even around the house there are casual dresses for around the house and every day.

The thrust in my life now is to just move forward into living...think about places I can go, think and hope I may meet people and doing things that I enjoy doing and I still have to meet all of my usual obligations, maintenance, keeping the routine for a fairly clean home...this is no different either whatever part of who I am seems to be present and I like all the same things that is not gender specific either.

I also need to begin to let who I am inside be reflected on the outside as I am out and about. I do have longer hair and get some looks...smooth legs...yeah I think that is noticed too...I do have to work in that direction. I am jogging in clothes appropriate for whatever is prominent inside....sport bra, female t shirt and shorts, footlets and running shoes...ear bobs, lipstick, mascara and brows sunglasses. I went to bring in the garbage can and get my mail earlier yeah...all reflecting Anne...jeans and polo untucked, tennis shoes, silver ear bobs, minimal basic make up, and hair fixed...Slept in my night gown and panties as I tend to do every night...because of who is more prominent...I have found myself battling in my head unable to sleep until I get up and get into my nightgown and find I sleep better at night along with 10mg of melatonin.... This is all part of beginning to live and to be who I really am inside. I do have to admit to getting in the car the other night without a stitch of male clothing on, grabbed my purse got in the car and just drove for about 30 minutes or so...just to be out as a girl! I was not excited about what I had on, and was well within my comfort zone it was pitch black outside!! But I suppose this is something I did for no reason at all other than to really be outside and away in women's clothing...I do suppose I have to adjust and work towards being able to live and be who I am and it will not be real until I am as free to leave the house as I am in guy mode and go anywhere and do anything! Then and only then will it become a reality after a lifetime of living with society objecting and shaming me and trying to force me to hide.

[KimberlyS]

Anne I do agree with you there is a lot of negative out there. And you are very good at finding the negative, generalizing it and posting about it. Going back in time to college and psychology or was it sociology, the human brain tends to be negative, especially when things are unknown. So yes there is a lot of negative out there not just within the transgender things on the internet, but within a lot of things. Look across the internet within many positive threads and someone sooner or later will need to post something negative.

So I have a challenge to you Anne. I challenge you to spend several days and look for only positive transgender information. Then apply this positive information to you, and what you can do. And finally post a positive forum post about you and this positive information and what you can do.

Kimberlys

[Eileen (SO)]

Only the outrageous looking get posted on the internet. Especially when first experimenting, many CD's dress like a fantasy girl friend. Dressing as a woman is much more than clothing alone. At some meetings, I've seen so called ladies act with mannerism's that only men do. It's distressing to see such poor behavior, it just draws more attention towards the more questionable ladies that otherwise would pass well.

Day to day, women wear what is comfortable at the time, boring. We are not trying to look feminine because we already are. Look your best without over doing it. Great fitting clothing, subtle make up, and some jewelry.

Yes, be positive!

Eileen

[Anne Bonny]

I hear you both. Be Positive. I really am trying to move on and to live my life. I am pleased to have finally made it to this point. I cannot help enjoying and really liking who I happen to be which is all on the inside. What is inside is reflected on the outside and I have so many wonderful options. I am a woman in a sense but I am also a man. It is strange to feel and to enjoy being feminine...and yet I can be and am at times a fairly masculine man in most every way...perhaps the extremes balance this contradiction. Personally I am not able to change the fact that I am a man whatever medical interventions are available I cannot change that fact. Thing is I have this inexplicable other side that is and has always been there and that I can do nothing about. Yeah I am female in a sense. I believe it makes me a better person I am sensitive and emotional and tender hearted, I feel things and care and love and hope.

Yeah we are all different and suppose we are also wherever we happen to be in what we have learned and understand but many people do not think a lot about who they are, they are just living their lives. If it feels good do it I suppose. I have a need to understand before I am able to be happy about it all. There is no right or wrong in being as we are so I suppose I should just accept that as the way it is.

I really am very happy being who I happen to be. I can present and be a fairly masculine man...or feeling so much as I do I can really enjoy being a woman, I enjoy being a girl...anyone can ask and I will tell them I am a man...but there is nothing wrong if I feel so female I assent to myself that I am a woman and I believe I would be able to mix very well with women at these times.. with a difference.

I came across a video by a trans sexual woman and she insisted that there is a difference between women and trans women freely acknowledging the same thing I do above about myself and where I happen to be.

I prefer to be who I am which had I been lucky enough to have been born a female would be who I am at such times...just a normal mainstream person...wearing the boring but dressing more feminine if that is how I feel as any one else does. Other times I am in the male but my female is really never very far away. I will I think never be a full time girl with my longish hair maintained my medium brown, pierced ears, tweezing facial hair best I can to keep it down and shaving, being thin but at my correct weight, nails that are not exceptionally long... breast forms and smooth legs. I maintain my fitness but do not of course seek to build large muscles...just the normal body I have always had. I may dream of having the medical interventions that would take me further but I am not a full time girl and never have been. I suppose it is thus far but no further. Apply make up etc as my inner female comes ...yeah I am happy. I only wish after losing my wife that I had a woman who knowing would love me with all that she has no matter where I happen to be emotionally from day to day.