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So far, I have had four therapy sessions. I guess I had a lot to say, because after each session I realize I did most of the talking. Which is fine. Not to say that my therapist hasn't discuss things with me. My main focus from the get go is to find any way or form to improve things at home. Even if it was only finding better coping mechanisms so I can handle repressing myself. Which of course K (my therapist) deemed as something unhealthy to do.
With my wife, we haven't got to discuss things again, last time was back in February or early March, before the kids came home from college. With them here, it is just a lot harder to make the time to have such a serious conversation. My son is back to college in Virginia now. But my daughter is back to living with us, since she got a job teaching here in Memphis. And with her teaching remotely, well, you can imagine.
K would really like for me to explore with my wife the possibility of at least having a couple times a year for me to be able to "get away", and believe me, if she can find a way to make that happen, I'd be happy camper. (of course she wouldn't contact my wife, it would have to be me negotiating that. Easier to say than to get it done!)

Gabriela wrote:K would really like for me to explore with my wife the possibility of at least having a couple times a year for me to be able to "get away", and believe me, if she can find a way to make that happen, I'd be happy camper. (of course she wouldn't contact my wife, it would have to be me negotiating that. Easier to say than to get it done!)

It would be the status quo you achieved a few years ago - when you wrote:

"While going out away from home has plenty of advantages, it is not really that it is my preferred way. It is, at least currently, my only way. That is the compromise with my wife. She doesn't want to see me or be a part of my dressing at all, and I respect that. So, no dressing at home or in town, unless my family may be away."

Ah yes, the good old times!

Only big difference is that for this to work, she would have to be aware of when and where, which is very different from the don’t ask don’t tell understanding we had before.

We will see.

Thank you Anthony!
Gaby

Gaby if you have said how long you have been married I apologize I don't remember. Judging by some of the posts you have mentioned your children in I am going to guess 25 years give or take. In other words it has taken 25 years or whatever to get to this point so 5 or 6 sessions with a therapist is probably not going to bring answers so please stay the course.

My BFF has been married over 37 years to her husband. IMO they are and always have been perfect for each other. That said I know they went through a bit of a rocky period when their oldest graduated college and got a place of her own and the youngest away at college. At first it was fun and almost being newlyweds but soon the cold reality set in they had moved onto the next phase of their life together. Thankfully they worked through it. Not saying this is an issue in your marriage just tossing it out for thought.

Hi Diana! Not a problem. We have been married for 27 years. And no worries, I'm not expecting miracles from my therapy sessions. As a matter of fact, the one thing that will have an effect will be once my wife find out that I'm in therapy. That, I believe, will get the conversation going.

Gaby

Gaby never been one to give advice to others on relationships as I believe if it works for you great! I did though have a very good and happy marriage of almost 20 years before he passed away, One thing neither of us ever did was keep "big" secrets from each other. Yes there are always the little secrets like who broke his grandmother's cake plate but the big things belong in the open and discussed IMHO