this actually was complete a few months ago so if I would have been diligent I would have let you all know a long time ago, not that anyone here knows my actual name, but anyway.
So a few years ago I resolved to always dress in the way I prefer, which meant that when I told people my name there was confusion about whether it should be spelled as don or dawn. I preferred the latter but the former showed up on all documents. My youngest daughter finally told me a while back "why don't you just officially change your name".
So I did, and as of several weeks ago my name is now legally Dawn. I won't be changing my user name here though because I do like the name Ralitsa a lot. What surprised me is how much I really like having my name spelled that way, I did not expect it to be such a big deal. Which probably says something about how little we really understand ourselves but I'll try not to go off on some existential tangent now.
It feels so genuine to me, like my name now finally matches me, and I don't have to try to change me to fit the worlds expectations of me. I know that's nothing new and everyone who has been through this says all the same things. And there's none of those uncomfortable pauses, second and third looks when someone sees the name on my drivers license or credit card and then looks back and forth trying to figure out what's going on. I haven't changed my passport yet; I just heard on the news that there will soon be an option that doesn't require one to choose female or male so I need to find out about that.
changed my name
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