SO's only poll

[Jess(SO)]

As promised a poll similar to the one I asked the cds, regarding sex and the importamce of dressing in it. Please don't feel that you have to post if you vote, but on the other hand feel free to do so if you wish.

Thanks to all who take part in this.


Jess(so)

[Georgia(SO)]

OK. I can't vote. No choices that fit us. My guy is interested in men when dressed, in women when he is being a guy. So, no he doesn't dress for sex with me. Which is ok with me, because I'm not turned on by it at all - and damned close to being actively turned off by it. Which does not mean that I don't love him or accept that this is part of him. He's not real wild about the adventures that turn me on either. We muddle through.

Which does not mean I would NEVER have sex with him while dressed - NEVER being a very big word... although its pretty clear he won't have sex with me while dressed.... - he says he can be a guy or a girl, but not at the same time. After all these years that he's been doing this, I figure he knows what works for him.

There seem to be an infinite number of different types of CDs - probably because there are an infinite number of different types of people.

-g(so)

[CJ]

Hi all,

I hope you don't mind a little incursion on the part of a non-GG (yes, that would be yours truly ).

I just want to remind everyone (GG's here as well as CD's over there on their own poll thread regarding sex and dressing) that, although open and honest communication between spouses or partners is a sane and sound policy, this is an open forum. As such, what people say here can be read by anyone, spouses and partners especially included. Please be sure that you have your partner's approval before openly discussing the intricate details of your sex life. This is not prudishness, mind you (trust me, it's not! ); it's merely consideration for the person with whom you share your intimate self.

If wives/girlfriends and their husbands/boyfriends have previously discussed the geography of their sex lives in their more private moments and if any two partners both feel that discussing this geography publicly remains within the bounds of propriety, then, by all means, go ahead. Nobody will stop you. Especially if a couple's own experience can help others cope with the sometimes mismatched sexual desires that CD'ing entails. Just, uh, you know, keep it as, er, clean, as possible.

Remember also that talking publicly about sex, like talking publicly about religion or politics, is sometimes fraught with peril. This, despite the fact that the rewards of doing so can be great, indeed.

There has been some concern expressed over whether or not this particular poll should be moved into the SO's section. Although I have no access to that section, I strongly suspect that some version of it already exists there. I move to keep the poll here, with the understanding that no SO is bound to comment on her vote. This will keep things suitably anonymous for those who, precisely, have no desire to expose their sex lives to public scrutiny.

I wish you all the best in your attempts to shed the light of understanding in the more shadowy corners of our lives. It's a noble and worthy enterprise.

Love,
CJ

[Christie]

Hi CJ

Jess (SO) has posted a similar poll on the Australian Forum and although initially in the CD Topic it was moved (on request) to the SO's Topic.
It will be interesting to compare the results a little later to see if different regions have different outlooks.

It any case, it's a great Poll and nice to know what SO's think about the topic!!

Hugs

Christie

[Absaroka]

We have similar discussions here where the SOs can read them. We don't always seem entirely concerned about their feelings........although certainly many participants here would be completely conscious of how an SO might react.

Absaroka

[Jess(SO)]

Cj,
I do understand the concern thats why I put in ,

Please don't feel that you have to post if you vote, but on the other hand feel free to do so if you wish.

I also deliberately didn't put it in the SO's section as the original poll for the cdr's was placed in the public forum (for obvious reason I can't post there). I have no wish to embaress publicly or privately any of our members here and I do know that one of our family PM'd me on the subject of the poll, giving me permission to publish her PM to me and my reply in the other poll which I willingly did.

If anybody has been offended, upset, or feels that I was inanyway prying inro the sexual side of their relationships PLEASE PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY, that was never and never would be my intention. I know that in some polls you can see who has voted for what ------- again I would never poll in that way I believe that the polls done should be akin to the polling booth in elections you can cast your vote but your vote should remain private unless you choose to tell people which way you voted and why.

Again my apologies to anybody I may have offended

Jess

[CJ]

Hi all,

Jess,

Please rest assured; I don't think anybody was offended. Far from it. It's good to talk about these things. On the other hand, difficulties arise when someone--CD or SO--discovers a partner's feelings or thoughts on a public forum before doing so in private conversations.

You know, I realize I'm operating under a bit of a double-standard here. I mean, why would it be okay for CD's to hold polls publicly on sex and dressing while feeling we must tiptoe around the subject when SO's do so? The main reason is this: most CD's on this board do not have wives or girlfriends who are members of this forum (and who would thus be liable to stumble upon information about their private lives as a couple) whereas all SO's here have, with very few exceptions, a hubby or boyfriend who's a member of the forum. Chances are better that a CD will read what his partner thinks or feels regarding sex and dressing than that a wife or girlfriend will read what her partner thinks or feels about it. We come to that fine line between the raison d'être of the forum being a support group for CD's and the raison d'être of the forum being a place where SO's and CD's can learn to communicate with, and discover, each other. I don't think there will ever be anything wrong with learning to communicate with each other. But some things are best communicated in private first, you know?

My girlfriend asked me this week if I ever talked about her, about us, on the forum. I told her that I did, but only fleetingly and never in great detail. She's a very private person. Even so, she said she didn't mind, as long as I respected the bounds of her own privacy (we're very different that way, she and I; I'm pretty much an open book). God knows, I'd have much to say about my sex life but I rarely do so publicly--not even in "real life"--because my sex life usually involves at least one other person and that other person may not feel as comfortable as I do talking openly about sex (good or bad).

All this to say, Jess, that I really don't believe anyone was offended and that you have nothing about which you need to apologize. I just hope that SO's will vote in this poll despite this tempest in a teacup. We need to know and to hear what SO's think and feel about this. And we do need it, trust me.

Love,
CJ