CD Teenage son

[Stephanie M]

I can't say for sure that is typical, since I can only speak for myself, but yes that sounds like me to some degree and I suspect others as well.

[Eileen (SO)]

A suggestion from my hubby, bake cookies! Mixing the batter, baking, and decorating. Dress as you like, but everyone must wear an apron. A subtle hint of femininity.
Does she have a name? How does she collect a wardrobe?

Eileen

[Estefania]

Hello Louise.

I think that something that may help would be if you were to come home and find him wearing girls clothes and then just didn't even mention anything about the clothes. If you are able to take it as a non-event, then he may be able to feel more at ease with sharing it with you.

You asked...

By the way am I offending anyone by using him and he?

I sure hope nobody is being offended by it. True, some may have left their male lives in their past, but being a crossdressing forum it would be kind of safe to assume that most still present as males at least part of the time, so him/his/he are ok, at least for me. I have met couples where the husband has transitioned into a woman and even after having surgery, the wife will still use the masculine nouns when referring to her spouse. And for you, he is your son. You may never switch your mind to treat him as a daughter, but that is a very personal thing and only time will tell. He doesn't have to assume a girl's name. Up to him.

He is lucky to have your acceptance.

Gaby

[KimberlyS]

Louise we have a saying here we tell our CD/TG's when working with their wifes/SOs, and believe it applies here.

Baby Steps.

It sounds to me like you are doing all of the right things. You have shown him your support in multiple ways and he is accepting it. He has worked up a comfort level around his sister. Just keep doing what you are doing and my guess he will open up more to you in his own time.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Emily]

Weekends and holidays he will dress completely whenever he has the chance, in the holidays my daughter says he will sometimes spend all day dressed if he has not got to go out, I think sometimes he will dress fully for just an hour or so!! Does that sound typical?

He has always been a quiet person he has friends but a small close circle they do all socialise and he does still go out a fair bit. I don't mean to make it sound like he is locked in his room all the time its not quite that bad

Difficult to say what "typical" is. We all develop and discover our comforts over time, depending on social status, family dynamics, personal attitudes, etc... So many variable at play that can affect who we are... or who we turn out to be.

But to me, it sounds as if he is quite comfortable in who he is and what he likes. And at his age, that is good. And it doesn't sound like he's locked in his room all the time... sounds just like how I used to be actually. I enjoyed seeing friends - had a few really, really good, close friends. But I didn't need to spend every waking hour with them. I could easily spend hours on my own... and as a matter of fact, to this day, that hasn't changed!

It sounds like you are truly trying and wanting to make an effort and are doing a great job! I am more than sure that given a little time, he'll come around. It may take a few weeks... a few months... just let it happen. Continue to show your love and support and in time, he'll find his own level of comfort with you as well.

[LouiseK (F)]

Once again thank you all for your suggestions and advice, I am so grateful for you all. You are all so kind and have helped me more than I can express.

I have thought about just returning home early when I know he will be dressed, I guess that would be a good way of breaking the ice. Might be easier if his sister is there so that its not so one on one, perhaps some thing to consider if I ever feel he is trying to open up a little more.

A small step forward today though, we were grocery shopping in Sainsburys (for anyone not in the uk its a big supermarket that sells groceries, home wares, clothes etc ) I said that I wanted to look at the clothes so we walked around that section, I found a top I really liked so asked his opinion, he agreed it was nice and said I should treat myself. But he reached across and picked another up and said that's lovely. I took the opportunity and asked if we wanted it, he said "no not now it is nice though" We spent a few minutes looking round and he didn't seem shy about looking at things he liked.
I asked again if there was anything he wanted but again he said no its ok.
It was a nice experience and meant that we could at least chat about the things we looked at.

[Anthony Simon]

I have thought about just returning home early when I know he will be dressed, I guess that would be a good way of breaking the ice.

Personally, I'd leave it. The thing in Sainsburys came quite naturally and suggests he's feeling his way back. From little acorns....

[LouiseK (F)]

Personally, I'd leave it. The thing in Sainsburys came quite naturally and suggests he's feeling his way back. From little acorns....

I agree I think it is best just to support him but let things go at his pace, I said before that I now realise a lot of this wanting him to be more open is down to my own feelings of guilt etc rather what is necessarily best for him.

I know sometimes I ramble a little but I get these thoughts and ideas and have nowhere else to share them or anyone to run things by.

Sorry if sometimes I seem to be going round in circles

[Anthony Simon]

I get these thoughts and ideas and have nowhere else to share them or anyone to run things by.

That's partly what we're here for - so that people can let stuff out that otherwise burns a hole in their heads. The whole CDing thing is pretty isolating - both for CDs and their loved ones.

[Estefania]

The whole CDing thing is pretty isolating - both for CDs and their loved ones.

That is so true. I know it has always been for my wife. I have told her that I am ok with her sharing it with one of her friends (mutual friend). I know she wouldn't tell anybody, and even if she did, it wouldn't be anybody who may know my wife or me. But she said that she will not share it with anybody. I have suggested it joining the site, but she doesn't want to do so. Maybe some day she will, I don't know. But... it is her call, not mine.

[Anthony Simon]

I don't know...If she just talked to you, that would be a start.

http://www.heidiphox.com/wife.html

As an icebreaker?

[LouiseK (F)]

So pleased this morning, the first real breakthrough in him letting me be a part of this side of him. Typical that it is the last day of holidays though.
We had a text conversation last night and he asked if would be ok if he spent time dressed around the house, I told him that its his home and he should feel safe and comfy and he can dress whenever he likes.

He came down for breakfast and is still in the family room watching tv in skinny jeans and a cold shoulder top, hair in a messy bun and light make up.

Sounds silly I know but I have really mixed emotions right now so happy that this wall between us has started to weaken but slightly shocked at seeing him like this. Trying not to mention anything and just carrying on as usual but I think its going to take longer than I thought to get used to this. I have to push through my emotions and support him there is no no way I can make a negative move now after our history dealing with this I think I would never gain his trust again if I get this wrong.

Thought I would find it easier but its early days i guess maybe as the day wears on it will feel different. His sister will be home this afternoon that may help.

[Anthony Simon]

Baby steps, Louise. Baby steps.

[DonnaT]

I agree, baby steps.

You might bond a little by helping with her hair.

[Martina Hall]

Yes, what Donna just said. Also, think how your son herself feels. Probably terrified. Keep that in mind.