Crossdressers-Haven.com

This is my story....

Does anyone feel they were born a Cross dresser ?

I can remember feeling content when wearing nappies and plastic pants .
It was the plastic pants that had me hooked , and I probably wore them way past the time I should have.

I can remember neighbours daughters dressing me up as a girl in frilly clothes , I was a pretty boy, and dint resist , perhalps I was enjoying it even at that age ?

Some years later probably around 8, I started to be aware of my mothers clothes in the bathroom closet , and after much consideration , tried on a pair of tights , pantygirdle and white slip. The feeling I can still remember , it was such a thrill , and instant arousal. I used to try her clothes on whnever I could , I'm not sure if she ever knew .

I then used to take my friends Mums knickers and hide them in my bedroom , and wear them whenever I could .

I ventured out in my Mums car once dressed in her underwear, but hidden under my own clothes . I soon whipped my clothes off and drove around , I was nervous about getting caught but equally excited !

I met my wife years later , and confessed my CD to her before we got engaged , initially she encouraged me , and we had fun together both dressed up , but recently , she has said she is happy for me to dress up , but only in private and not in front of her . I loved the feeling of silk rubbing together.

My reason coming to the Forum is to discover who I am ?

I spent years feeling guilty , was I gay ?

My thing is the clothes, not that I want to be a women. I am a man who likes the silky feel of nylon pressed up against my skin , and the noise when it rubs together. I adore tight white pantygirdles , white slips and petticoats, plus nylons of course.

I have not tried shoes yet , but need somewhere to hid them , I am size 12, and my wife size 6, so the boys would know they were mine !!


please let me know your thoughts on whether you feel you were born a CD ?

Betty

BettySmith wrote: My reason coming to the Forum is to discover who I am ?

Sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on it.

BettySmith wrote:please let me know your thoughts on whether you feel you were born a CD ?

I wouldn't put it in those terms, but essentially, yeah.

More to the point, I say I was born with a transgendered nature that found an outlet in crossdressing.

Betty.
I feel more like I was supposed to be born a woman, and something happened along the way that altered my body, but not my brain. But we have to play the cards we are dealt, right?

Welcome to our little corner of the internet

I have always felt I was born this way.Not always knowing what exactly this way was.My earliest clear recollection is from the second grade at age 7 or there abouts.I do have vague memories from a few years earlier when I was just starting school.I am bi gendered,I need to live in both genders(not always at the same time) to be at peace with myself.

Betty great beginnings post. It is great you told your wife before getting married. Yes being a CD with kids can be a challenge. But kids in general are a challenge.

As far as being born this way I feel for me it is a mix of nature and nurture. I have been a male with many feminine traits, characteristics, and physical features as far back as I can remember. I think we are born this way and it is our family, friend, and society in general tells us what male and female are. Somewhere along my path to acceptance I realigned many of the male/female things in society to masculine/feminine.

Thus I am a male person with a mix of masculine and feminine traits, characteristics, and physically features. I like to clothe my mixed self in a mix of masculine and feminine clothes.

kim
joe in a skirt

I say I was born with a transgendered nature that found an outlet in crossdressing.

Donna T; Ditto for me!

WE have to think through this. First it is very, very unlikely that any of us woke up one morning (regardless of our age) and thought, it sure would be cool to put on a dress! The urge, need, necessity for most of us has always been there we just consciously or sub-consciously repressed, suppressed, ignored, whatever "it." Some of us are able to take that to our grave, yet others of us like my sisters here ask the question. "What the hell is going on!?" Then we were curious enough to investigate this "new" emerging aspect of our existence. Some of us eased into it, others panicked others jumped in with both feet.

Yes, I think that eventually, science will bear us out that we were born with this "gift" and how we individually adapted to it ......... well that what this forum eludes to.

Find the balance in your life with your gift and enjoy your "Magical Mystery Tour!"

Virginia

Personally I was born naked.

I learned this when we had our own children. Most babies like being wrapped tightly in blankets. The theory is it reminds them of the womb.

As for the feelings that accompany crossdressing, I was either born with them or got them hardwired into me at an early age. As to whether they were going to express themselves in clothing or in some other way, I don't really know why it turned out as it did.

Children learn an awful lot the first 2 or 3 years of their lives. We don't remember learning these things but they become very hardwired into us. One of the very few ways to separate nature from early nurture is to study identical twins separated at birth. They've discovered a lot of interesting things doing this. There are the expected similaritys like intelligence and artistic similarlities, and also very high correlations of schizophrenia and drug addiction. To my knowledge no one has asked about crossdressing although someone has probably looked at these studies in terms of sexual orientation.

At this point I am where I am. It's fun to try to figure out how I got here, but more important to accept who I am.

Zari

I have obviously stirred up a debate on being born a CD??

I know that from as early as I can remember I have felt content/fulfilled cross dressing, and there is nothing I can do , apart from understand who I am and enjoy it.

I dont follow how the environment/my parents could have affected this trait in my psyche.

Your thoughts

Betty

Based on my interpretation of the posts from my sisters we all seem to feel that we were fortunate enough to have been born with this gift! The challenge comes when we recognize that it is not necessarily an acceptable outlet amongst "the great unwashed." That inturn affects each of us a different way. That is when the socio-economic/religious/aspects of our exisitence come into play and how we each handle this varies from girl to girl!!!! The extremes being supressing it and taking it to the grave with you to (barring the transistions = SRS) the "in your face!" This is who I am and if you can't deal with it - tough!

As for Mom and Dad, some of our sisters have posted just what you would expect. The responses are as varied as we are from both parents totally accepting to threats of death by either of both parents and everything in between.

We have to each deal with this in our own way. The beauty of this forum is if you read enough, you will hopefully find something that will work for you because as has been said, "It's the pioneers that take the arrows" and a lot of us can truthfully say, "been there done that!"

Virginia

We had our bi-year consoling meeting in my Tri-Ess chapter. The console r that ran the meeting told us that the current medical thinking is.

All fetus start out as female.
After a couple of weeks a hormonal wash begins that triggers the various genes to use the DNA pattern to start creating the person/gender your are.
somewhere along the line, the brain of the fetus may not completely switch to either all male or all female.
As result, the child can be born with either a normal gender or as a TransGender person.
Then from that point, outside influences help shape the person and the persons gender.

So the current medical reasoning is TG people are born TG.

Oh most definitely.. I can't speak for others on this forum but my experience has been as long as I can remember
I've felt and longed to be female. I used to play dress up games when I was only 4 or 5 but unlike most boys who would choose the cowboy outfits I chose dresses.
None of this was done on a conscious level..it just happened naturally all of which drove my parents up the bend.
I'm just glad the internet came along and I got to share these feelings with others of a like mind. It's a wonderful experience knowing one is not alone

In the end , I think I agree with everyone who has contributed here.

I think that genetics and the environment work very closely together, and as my lecturer once said whilst I was studying my psychology degree....
once the child's personality has begun to be formed , it is difficult to undo threads that have been created . His example was that a personality is created in a similarway to baking a biscuit , in this case lets say a chocolate chip biscuit . Once you have put together the ingredients > choc chips , flour , sugar etc ( the genetics + early environment experiences etc ) , it is difficult to take out some of the ingredients to then make a gingerbread biscuit !!!

Hope this makes sense , it does to me !!

I therefore had no chance , as early on my mother dressed me in hand me downs from relations , which were all frilly girls clothes !!


Betty

Hi sisters,

I'd suggest that the situation is more complex than just whether I was born a CD-er. It gets into behavior, self-image and various other aspects of gender-crossing besides clothes.

For example (though others differ), I personally have come to feel a very strong inner identity as a woman. How that works out day by day, as I shift among shades of male and female identity, is a whole story in itself. This identity is most strongly connected with my childhood feelings, though it has less in common with my life during my 20s, 30s and early 40s.

Obviously, for many of us, CDing as well as our other transgender feelings and behaviors occur in stages—they aren't one consistent thing from cradle to grave.

So, was I born partly femme and needing to wear the clothes of my favorite gender? Oh yes, you bet. But circumstances later altered this, so it has been a winding path.

As a very young child I couldn't believe I wouldn't grow up to be a girl! It seemed so unfair. It was a source of real heartache. Then when it was impressed on me that I really was a boy and was stuck with that, I smoldered a lot, but adopted the boy persona and later didn't think a whole lot more about it.

I crossdressed early and often. But I also had decades of life as a very happy lover and husband. So, though the male role was never a particularly good fit, it worked out nicely and sexily too. Thus I seem to have transferred my own femme feelings into making a world of love for the woman I love. (If you can't be a woman, make love and intimacy with one!)

In this way or something like it, I think many of us during the courtship / nesting / child-raising years find our transgender impulses submerged by events and the needs of our SOs, kids, etc, which influence what our own needs and identities are.

Once into our 40s or 50s, though, a great many of us seem to come back to CDing stronger than ever, so that people that age or older form a large part of the CDing community.

For some 20 years now (I'm 71) I've felt my inner identity as a woman slowly but steadily increasing. I'm very happily married to a woman who accepts my CDing. Though to the world I maintain my male identity, I now self-identify as a woman. This seems to work happily for me.

So with respect to BettySmith's original question: yes, I do feel I was born transgendered, and wanting to dress in, act like, and be like a woman. But at different stages of my life this has emerged in very different ways. In middle years it went partly (never completely) dormant. In my later life it has come back and become much stronger and more integrated into what I perceive as my true self.

Thanks, BettySmith, for a provocative question. I hadn't thought it through this fully, till now!

Love, Robyn Katie

Robyn

Wow, you have thought that through .

I think we all have different experiences to tell on this topic , and how it progressed in us , and its certainly not simply being born as a CDer and thats all.

I too have grown into CDing in my 50's much more than when I was a teenager , it feels like something I need to resolve in some way , which is why I have joined the Forum . For me its more to do with feeling contentment dressed in womens clothes ,than wanting to be a woman .


Betty