I was 14 or 15 when I found a pair of my mom's panties I don't know why but I had the sudden urge to try them on and I was hooked from then on, I think that day I had one of the most euphoric moments, no drug could even compare to the rush that I got from the silk of her panties against my body. Every day that I came home and I was alone the first thing I had to do was change into my mothers clothes her underwear, skirts and her lingerie. I used to watch my parents friends kids sometimes and after the kids were asleep I would sneek into there mothers rooms and try there things on and would get an even bigger rush partly from getting caught, but mainly from the dressing and the variety. As I got older I still dressed never having my own but always borrowing a girlfriends clothes and eventualy my first wife. I would borrow her clothes panties, lingerie that I would buy for her but also secretly for myself and still getting euphoric rush and sexual rush that I could'nt deny and would crave, in 10 years of marriage I never told her about my crossdressing and Im glad because she deffinately was not the person to tell. After my inevetible divorce to my first wife I meet a wonderful woman we started to live together and I still kept my dressing a secret, after a few months she told me she was pregnent and we had a son and shortly after got married. Throughout my whole life I have been a crossdresser and three years ago after two years of marriage I told my wife at first she was a little shocked and I think scared I think her biggest fear is that I was gay and that she was going to lose me, but after some more talking and reassuring she felt better she even bought me my first pair of my very own panties from victorias secret. We have even tried one time to integrate my crossdressing into our sex life she told if she was wearing something sexy I was too, after that experience we both agreed that we did'nt want to bring it into our sex life, but told that whatever she had was mine to use We talk about my crossdressing every now and then and tonight I am hoping to talk to her about how great this site is and she should check it out. I love to dress I have always felt like there was something inside me that was missing and now that I have support and freedom I'm going to try and explore my feme side and have some fun. I love my wife more everyday and the fact that she loves me and knows what I am and is supportive of me and this weekend I will take another step for the first time in 25 years of crossdressing I'm going to order a blue skirt and maybe some stockings and panties for myself and and live the rest of my life happy as a happy crossdresser that I am. I like being a guy but I love being a gurl
Thanks for sharing your story William, and we are glad you like it here. You are very lucky to have an understanding SO and one that you can be so open with. We hope she will join us here and add her thoughts on the subject too.
Thank you I have discussed with her about joining or at least looking at the site under my name so she can see if she likes it, but she is very hesitant. I think that she is afraid of all, she is fine with me dressing but doesn't like to even hear the word crossdresser. I bought some clothes online this past week and she was fine that I did " she freaked out a little at first because she thought that I had bought a wig". I don't want to push her on this and if she is fine with me dressing when I have the time not sure how to go on and try to talk to her I find myself wanting to do little more than dress such as possibly a wig and see if I could actualy be passable I don't really want to go out or anything just feal as though it would be fun and fullfill some sort of a curiousity
Hi William,
It sounds like your wife is really trying to understand this and trying to look through all the stereotypical views on it also..kudos to you both for that.
To use the cliches again..'baby steps' and 'take your time'. It's a lot to take in for your wife, and doesn't happen quickly. About now I imagine she's asking if William has gone? Are you someone else now, or is this just a part of William? That's a big deal really, and in fairness, if its suddenly taken over the conversation, shes no choice but to wonder? I think how fast you go now, and how you handle it will influence her view enormously.
William R wrote: " she freaked out a little at first because she thought that I had bought a wig". I don't want to push her on this and if she is fine with me dressing when I have the time not sure how to go on and try to talk to her I find myself wanting to do little more than dress such as possibly a wig and see if I could actualy be passable I don't really want to go out or anything just feal as though it would be fun and fullfill some sort of a curiousity
The best of intentions!
Curiosity does what?
It's quite easy to say "I don't want to go out, I just want to see if I pass." But what happens if you see you do pass? Likely you'll want to test that theory by going out.
Shortly after we were married, when my wife gave me a wig she had, and told me how good I looked, I wanted to hit the stores right now!
At home, as long as I'm not wearing a wig nor makeup, my wife doesn't mind (too much) what I wear. Thus I can enjoy being dressed when I wish, not just when she's out.
Thankyou Karin I think that it is just going to take time and understanding on both our parts. I understand what you are saying and it makes complete sense about if this is a new me or just a part of the old me and it is deffinately is part of the old William that she met years ago. I guess that her biggest fear is that I'm gay. I'm not gay I like being a guy I like to wear guy clothes and do guy things, but when I want to which is often I want to be girly and dress like a girl, it relaxes me and yes there is a sexual side to it but that isn't always the case. I hope at very least I can relieve her fears and get her to understand over time that there isn't anything different about me I'm just exspressing something that I have always had to supress or hide. I used to feel shame and saddness after I dressed, but not anymore and I now have time where I can dress and I love it and I love the fact that she knows and at the minimum gives me time to do it and is ok with that. What I really want what my dream is to be able to dress and be able to talk to her about it and maybe even to get her advice or her help with makeup or outfits what goes what doesn't etc. we have talked about counseling I at first we decided against it just because we felt ok about it all but now I think it might be a good idea so maybe some one else can tell her that it is ok and it will be ok. only time will tell
That's a very good point Donna and you could very well be right who knows what happens if I was passable, but I find myself not knowing what to do for someone who has done this for almost 25 years I find this all very new. I find myself very nervous and scared to talk to her about it all I don't want to hurt her, but I'm tired of being in the closet if you will to one extent or another.
Well we have talked again actually a couple of time since my last post and I feel that it's well kind of up and down and I'm trying to explain that this isn't something that I do but it is just a part of who I am and that I basicly don't have an option and I have to dress. I think given time and baby steps that things will get better and that eventualy I think that we will both have a better understanding of what we need to do for us to both be happy. We have both agreed that we don't want the kids to know and that neither of us want this to be part of our romantic life, but I hope with time she will to maybe see me in feme and she will even maybe want to help me and give me some tips on makeup or fashion etc. On another note I got my first order of my very own clothes in today from suddenly fem and I love them I quickly tried the skirt on and it fits almost perfectly I was so worried that it wouldn't but I purposely ordered on the side of small as I am working out and dieting and have lost 15lbs in the past moth and half. So things are going well and I feel as though they are going to get better and to make things even better I think she may join the site and we are talking about going and talking to someone
William R wrote:Well we have talked again actually a couple of time since my last post and I feel that it's well kind of up and down and I'm trying to explain that this isn't something that I do but it is just a part of who I am and that I basicly don't have an option and I have to dress.
Yeah, took a while for my wife to understand this concept, but once she did it helped.
Thanks Donna and I hope your right and I know that everything will be fine I above all want both of us to be happy may not get everything that I want, but I am willing to meet in the middle or at least try to meet in the middle, but I feel optimistic, my only concern is finding a good therapist to talk to and keeping this from getting involved with my work.
We talk about my crossdressing every now and then and tonight I am hoping to talk to her about how great this site is and she should check it out. I love to dress I have always felt like there was something inside me that was missing and now that I have support and freedom I'm going to try and explore my feme side and have some fun. I love my wife more everyday and the fact that she loves me and knows what I am and is supportive of me and this weekend I will take another step for the first time in 25 years of crossdressing I'm going to order a blue skirt and maybe some stockings and panties for myself and and live the rest of my life happy as a happy crossdresser that I am. I like being a guy but I love being a gurl 
Karin 
