Debbies early days.

[Debbie G.]

I can't realy remeber what age i was but it was young. Some where between age 4 and 7 at a guess.
It started more out of curiousity i guess and the wondering what was the differance between grils clothes and boy clothes and why can't boys wear them.
I started with my mums tights/pantyhose. I still shared a room with my brother ( 2 years younger than me) and i'd wait until i thought he was asleep then get changed into the tights. Or iether that get changed in the privacy of the bathroom as i got ready for bed.
Fast forward to the age of 16 and now Left high school and into college. No longer having to get changed for sport infront of 30 other guys started shaving all over and building a small collection of mostly underware at the time, stuff i could underdress in basicaly.
Came out to my parents about the same time too.
Fast forward again to 2008 and i've been made redundant from my job of 11 years. I went full time and went back to college as the new me.
That's my life ina nut shell. Once i've gotten more familiar with the forums i'll maybe start a blog and go into a little more detail?

[Robin H]

Hi Debbie to the forum,you will find alot of wonderful people here that are very supportive and helpful. Hope to see you in the chatroom and look forward to seeing more postings from you


Robin H

[AJ West]

Hi Debbie

[AJ West]

Debbie, you look familiar, have you been on other sites?

[Paula G]

Hi Debbie and , very brave of you going back to college.

[Debbie G.]

Hi AJ West. Yes i can be found in a few other place around cyberspace. I use some variation of "Debbie Gizmo" or another on most places. That was the name i chose way back when i first started hanging around the internet and didn't want to reveal an real details.

@Paula G. It was a bit brave to go back to college and do it as the new me but on the whole everybody was great about it. :D
The tutors struggled a bit with the whole him/her/male/female kinnda thing but it was great.
took a while for me to get used to people calling me by my chosen though. I'd hear somebody call out Debbie but because i wasn't used to it would often ignore it initialy.
I dropped out of college at the start of 2010 as i just couldn't cope with the work load and the traveling.

[Rebekah]

i am a new member but dressing for years came out to my wife she is all for it i wish i could do what u do but cant have kids cant embarsse them

[Debbie G.]

Hi Rebekah,

If it is something you REALY, REALY want to do an dyou wish long enough and hard enough you will find a way to make it happen. hugs. dreams can come true but only if you want them to. hugs.


Hello everybody.
I don't log in very often as (1) things seem to happen fairly slow around here so only the occasional look in enough?
and (2) i've kindda lost interest in the internet in general of late. can't realy be bothered with just the occasional bit of something interesting in amoungst piles of irrelevant rubbish. I'll log in to a few places and have a look then just walk away for the day.

So a quick update on what's going on in my little world.
Nothing much realy. Still jobless still no friends within easy traveling distance i can call on to do things with. probably just as well as no money to do anything with.
My computer crashed the other week and after asking for a 2nd opinion from an expert decided it was probably un-economical to repair it so i had to get a new one. I'm not gonna complain too much as this new PC is a speed demon compared to my old one and much, much better at multitasking.

But i did get around to starting HRT. Been on a low dose patch for about 7 weeks now and go back for a review on the 2nd October. :D As expected to physical changes yet but i'm not so sure about the mind?
It could just be the few job interviews i've had latetly and being turned down that's getting to me or the slighest chance that the hormones can be acting in some way as pull my mood down?
I don't realy know?

[Karin]

Debs,
You said...

I don't log in very often as (1) things seem to happen fairly slow around here so only the occasional look in enough?and (2) i've kindda lost interest in the internet in general of late. can't realy be bothered with just the occasional bit of something interesting in amoungst piles of irrelevant rubbish. I'll log in to a few places and have a look then just walk away for the day

Well 1). Quality NOT quantity... duuuuuur
And 2) I think we all get that. I know I do anyway. Its cyclic and depends on my progress and RL stuff too. Perfectly normal so don't stress it

It could just be the few job interviews i've had latetly and being turned down that's getting to me or the slighest chance that the hormones can be acting in some way as pull my mood down?I don't realy know?

I have a few theories on hrt tho. The physical changes take longer than seven weeks and don't really really get going till the doses get cranked up later? But the moods definitely do alter. More emotional for sure - so my thoughts process differently, and so my responses change too. I get more thoughtful than he ever did. Little things get in my head even more than before.
Then there's a sort of placebo effect too. The feeling of actually doing something to fix ourselves makes a moodshift too? Its true I swear!
And then on the flip side of that there's an element also of 'now what?'. Pre HRT we can stake all sorts of hopes on the hrt like its some holy grail. But then when we have it what's next? I still don't look like a super model dammit. It doesn't fix everything so how do we go about the unfixed stuff? That realisation alters moods too.

I can only speak for myself.. but its there ain't it?

I'd also say I know you've had a slow road and that sucks but look over your shoulder Debbie. You've come a long way haven't you? Time to relax and find that job and you'll be good XXX

Have a bow..

[Debbie G.]

Thanks Karin. You're right. with all of the above. hugs.


Today i had planned on visiting a friend in Newcastle for the week, going via friends in Tweedbank for a cup of tea on route.
I haven't mentioned it here but i've mentioned it in other places such as Facebook and other sites i hang around.
I suffer from something called "Meniere's disease". Basical bad dizzy spells. I haven't had a bad turn for ages and ages and even stopped taking the medication sometime ago too.

Well just 15minutes into the drive and i had to get off the road ina hurry with a dizzy spell. Timming was lucky as i was only seconds froma juntion to an industrial estate.

Timed it nice to come off the M90 at Inverkeithing and park up for a bit in an industrial estate.
Crawled back along the coast road but by the time i got to Kirkcalday had to stop and call for help as i was totaly exhausted.
luckely my dad is day off and my aunti carol was free. so i got help quick enough.

So again as that was the first bad turn in such a long time i can't help but wonder just how much 7 ( nearly 8 ) weeks of HRT played a part in that bad turn?????

So deeply gutted too as i was so looking forward to the week with my friend.

but self impossed driving ban now for next 2-3 days until i see what happens. not even the shortest of drives to the shops and back.

[Karin]

Newcastle huh?

When you do finally get there? Please - be sure to give that 'friend in Newcastle ' a slap and a hug from me!

At first I was like naaah. Don't blame the hrt for everything now. But the more I think about it.. maybe its possible. Can you get the bloodwork done and check your hormone levels? Then you'll be able to judge better.

When I started mine I started to feel crap too.. when I checked, I found I had a pretty serious dose of diabetes. Looking back I'd had signs of that since I was a teenager but never serious enough to realise. But I am totally sure that the changes in me (due to hrt), exhasberated things to the point of no return? Now I Will be type one at some point, and on needles till I die. Not the best, but its not all bad and it may have happened anyway? Now I take my meds and I don't get sick. My HRT is medicine too of course so I just take my girl meds AND my diabetic meds. I'm Fixed!

Maybe you'll have to take ALL of yours too and not just the girl ones Deb?

[Debbie G.]

It may well be time to see the doc as i don't beleive in coincedances, not this close together anyway. First a loss of emotional control last week then the out of the blue dizzy spell today. Gotta be something going on???

Already started taking the meds too, to help with the dizzyness. they don't stop it but certainly help ease it. Not many left though so could do with seeing a doc to get more.

And Re: your blog post about the cahts we used to have and the name that tune and stuff. I remember. hugs.

[Karin]

Loss of emotional control.

Yep That's part of the terrain. Some days I just cry. I'm perfectly fine and then boom. Serious bawling and I don't even know why. I'm quite good at hiding it here at home and at work now actually. Then on other days I sometimes collapse hysterically laughing at work with tears running down my face. Some things just tickle me. Like the Noel Edmonds reference to 'Shatners bassoon' in the first episode of brass eye. Last week I watched that at work on my break and was crying - doubled up on the floor? My coworkers just looking on ever so slightly amused. Ah well it just happens.
Between you and me? I sorta like it

[Carol Esme]

Hi Debbie
Great to see you here. I've been a bit off and on in my posting here but I think I'm entering an on phase at the moment. I hope to put more of a story up after my trip to Sydney on Wednesday to see a mutual friend and get my hormone levels checked.
Carol