a little about Scottie's beginnings

[Scottie]

Hi, I have been into crossdressing since I was about 12. I remember when it started getting more serious though. This girl friend of mine asked me to store some of her clothes at my house while she was away with her mom. I took the clothes and began trying them on. They fit and I felt so good dressed as a girl. I'd go outside and walk around a bit and would get totally turned on. Later I took care of a girl's apartment for her and did the same. I went to the park and some guy honked at me. Another guy threw me a kiss as he passed. I dressed in my girlfriend's(she is now now my wife) clothing when we were first living together. I know she caught my once with one of her bras on, but never said anything about it. I went out recently and bought some more cute clothes, I've been secretly buying stuff for when I get brave enough to go out. It's so exciting to shop in the women's department. I'm not very good at makeup yet, so any tips would be appreciated. I have always had long hair in the past, but it's short now. I bought a pretty good wig a little while ago. I think it looks good, but I will need a second opinion.

[Paulette]

The secrecy and almost being caught and maybe even the almost passing as a girl is a turn-on. I fully understand how exciting it can be, having done exactly that before and during my first and second marriages (I'm in my third one now).

But you're married. And you're hiding your CD from your wife, the person you've decided to share your life with.

You can do that until you're caught or until you decide to tell her. Maybe.

But it really is like having an affair with someone else while you're married. That the someone is yourself makes it no different. If you can live with that and its consequences, and you choose to do so, that's your decision to make. But if you owned up to yourself that that's what you've chosen to do it might be easier on you. Denial is a major element in mental illness, and that's what it sounds like you are doing: denying what you are and what you want and just allowing yourself to be dragged along by the pink fog without making any decisions or even admitting that there are choices you might make.

So, I wish you luck and I feel sad for you at the same time. I've gone down the road you're considering and found it very lonely. I'm not the only one here who's done that.

Talk to the others here - you'll find plenty of opportunity to do so. No one will slam you, but some of us will try to show you their experiences and hope they will be useful to you, just as I've done.

[Karin]

Hi Scottie,

For makeup tips you can find great help on YouTube actually. Search trans makeup or MTF makeup. There's loads of good tutorials and step by step guides. You can also ask people here in the chatroom too?

As for a second opinion on the wig? Heehee. We're always happy to help there!..oh and we have a gallery . hint hint!

Oh yeah... the serious bit?
I think that how we get here isn't as important as how we move forward? I know its not easy to face outing ourselves but can you imagine if it were the other way around? I mean that you were your wife, and you discovered this in your partner?. A sense of betrayal is inevitable, and that betrayal is often a bigger issue than the dressing itself? The more advanced that you are in this if found out? -The deeper the sense of betrayal I'm afraid... You're gonna have to come clean at some point methinks

[Scottie]

Yes... I agree. The only way to really enjoy myself is to include her. At least have her approval.

[Dalva]

Yes... I agree. The only way to really enjoy myself is to include her. At least have her approval.

Hi Scottie,

I would suggest feeling your way around your wife's opinions on cross dressers. If you spring your CDing on her all of a sudden she might freak out and then there is a lot of damage control to consider.

Take your time and slowly try to determine her position on this matter. My ex wife just couldn't get her head around the fact that I cross dressed and called me all sorts of things-pervert, faggot, deranged, etc. So make sure you don't put yourself into the position of having to deal with that sort of reaction.

Best of luck Scottie.

[Scottie]

Thanks Dalva, good advice...Actually all of you have given good advice and given me alot to think about.
In the meantime, however, I'll just enjoy the turn-on of even just thinking about it. I'll tell you a little secret, it's
fairly common I hear, but my wife has been menopausal or something for about four years now, and has not had sex
with me for that entire four years. She claims to have no desire at all. She will let me snuggle up next to her and masturbate. She has always been into mutual masturbation, and other kinky and fun stuff. Sometimes I fantasize
about her, but sometimes I fantasize about crossdressing. I have just started a new job and will need some time
to become financially able to get some more crossdressing accessories anyway. So there's time I guess. Lately all I've
been doing is my face and hair. Hopefully I'll meet someone who can relate to me and my situation.

[Morgan]

I recall finding a pair panties under a bed in my house. I was really excited to wear them all day as my own secret. It was a thrilling, confusing, joyful experience. It then just escalated into clothing stores and trying on my own girly outfits. I love my figure when putting on new outfits because I already have a lot of feminine traits. It still feels new to this day