Girls Had It Better In Life

[Alex]

I grew up thinking that parents preferred girls. Girls were prettier, smarter, nicer and didn't get into trouble. Boys, well, boys will be boys.

My mother would often tell us the story of our births and how she hoped for a girl with each of us. First she gave birth to my older brother. Three years later she was pregnant again and used positive thinking to prepare for a girl That was when I was born. Six months later she was pregnant again, and once again she prepared for a girl. Then on Christmas morning she gave birth to my sister. It was the happiest day of my mother's life.

My older brother was a sort of bully who enjoyed provoking me, dominating, and tough. I was a sensitive boy who was quiet, introspective, and avoided competition. My sister was my mother's little princess. She was pampered and spoiled, and protected against her older brothers. For as long as I could remember I was envious of my sister. She got all the love and attention from my mother. I believed that my mother was disappointed that I was born a boy. Surely, my mother would have loved me more if I was born a girl. My mother would say that I was very clingy, and insisted on being carried all the time. I remember that when I was 3-4 years old I was raiding my mother's closet and playing dress-up. My mother disapproved because I was damaging her clothes. In questioning me, I remember telling my mother that I was playing "mommy".

During my very early years playing dress up allowed me to enter a better world where I could recreate myself into anything I wanted. I wanted to be a girl because girls got all the good stuff, and they lived in a beautiful world. Now my mother was a good seamstress and one day she decided to make a party dress for a child. She would careful measure the dress against my body. A little while later she had me take off my clothes and put on a petticoat. (This was in the 1950's and that was just the fashion.) The dress was not quite finished but she pulled it over me to make sure it was a good fit. At that moment I was thrilled and started dancing. The dress would twirl and my mother laughed as I spun around causing my skirts to rise. Just then my older brother came in the room. He fell on the floor laughing uncontrollably and pointing at me. In that moment I went from joy to horror. "Take it off, take it off", I was in tears. Just then my father walked in, and there was some loud discussion. I never wore that dress again. My mother gave it to a girl across the street from us. She would wear it to church. This really bothered me because my older brother would point it out to me saying, "look, Linda is wearing your dress." Then he would punch me in the arm. It was a form of aversion therapy.

From that moment I kept my cross-dressing a secret. At first I thought that all boys secretly loved to wear girls clothes, but we had to keep it a secret. As I grew older I began to believe that I was the only person in the world who enjoyed such an activity.

It was not a sexual thing for me until I reached puberty. Testosterone makes this into a sexual fetish. However, I believe that those who believe cross-dressing just sexual fetish, have missed the mark. Its more than that. I believe it was hardwired in my brain through synaptogenesis and neural pruning. Now these neural connections create an involuntary response to cross-dressing where our brain interprets cross-dressing as contact with a female and releases a host of neurotransmitters. Dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are response for the sensations of gratification, well-being, pleasure, and social bonding.

[DonnaT]

Definitely not always a sexual fetish.

[Requal Jo]

Hi Alex. Cross dressing has never been a sexual fetish for me and like yourself mine was conducted in secret for a majority of my early years.

[AnnMarie Sweet]

One thing I have learned, over the years, about crossdressing is it is different things to different people. I realise that I had pigeon-holed all crossdressers as being 'like me'. It was not until the advent of internet communication (i.e. forums such as this one), that I began to understand that the reasons to crossdress are myriad. This dawning has introduced a sensitivity toward other crossdressers; that their experience is not mine and so the needs and desires of each individual are different. Love and lust are, after all, two utterly separate drives.


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

[Robyn]

One thing I have learned, over the years, about crossdressing is it is different things to different people.... that their experience is not mine and so the needs and desires of each individual are different.

Bravo to your realization! Indeed we are all different and who am I to judge. Acceptance of others is the key, and if there are no victims of a person's actions (generally speaking) he/she should be free to be themselves without conviction.

For me personally I dress to fulfill a feminine part of me. Most often I dress often for social outings with my GGs; shopping, dining, etc.

[Pam T.]

I think that is what pushed me further into not wanting to be a boy was that boys were just always boys and girls were treated better and all that and I wanted to be part of the girls club and was tired of how boys are supposed to be rough around the edges and go out and play in the dirt and like it. I was never like that, I wanted to be inside helping my mom cook or cleaning the house and doing things like that.

I never had interest in being out in the garage with my dad or sports or any of that. I just wanted to be a female and be treated like one and I think that is why I am doing what I am doing now and living the life that I am living. We all have to do what makes us happy no matter what.

I also know some people cross dress and they don't want to go further than that and then there are others that want to make the complete transition into something more. We all have our different paths

[Kitty]

Definitely not always a sexual fetish.

The crossdressing wasn't a sexual fetish for me when I used to do it as a child - OBVIOUSLY. But in my 20s it was. I did get aroused wearing women's clothes.

Now in my 40s there is no sexual element, just relaxation.

[Penelope Carol]

It's not a fetish for me either, I just feel happier in feminine clothes. For years I thought there must be something wrong with me but the desire never goes away and now I accept it as an important part of who I am. Dresses are pretty, so is nail polish and I enjoy make up and jewellery, these things just allow me to feel good, and skirts are comfortable. I realize that most people born with the Y Chromosome don't want these things but I do, and why should I let a little thing like that stop me?

[Kitty]

It's not a fetish for me either, I just feel happier in feminine clothes. For years I thought there must be something wrong with me but the desire never goes away and now I accept it as an important part of who I am. Dresses are pretty, so is nail polish and I enjoy make up and jewellery, these things just allow me to feel good, and skirts are comfortable. I realize that most people born with the Y Chromosome don't want these things but I do, and why should I let a little thing like that stop me?

I don't think crossdressing has been clinically identified. If you know what I mean.

I think if truth be known, to me it goes beyond finding women's clothes appealing and wanting to wear them. I think I do have a woman inside me.

Two personalities. Not a split personality. I am in control of it. But I do think I - (I cannot speak for others) is both man and woman.

LOL. A bit like that horror film. Anyone seen it. It's a spoof sort of thing on Jekyll and Hyde, called Dr Jekyll & Sister Hyde (1971).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068502/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


No offence to anyone. I am just talking about MYSELF.

[Angie G]

I kept it a secret for almost 50 years. Untill I let my wife in on it. And that worked out really well. When ever I;m at home im ai womans clothes from the bottom up and the underside out.
Angie