My story, well sort of but with many-many gaps.

[Satina]

Like many others, my journey into crossdressing started when I was young, about 7 years old, I grew up with two older sisters and no brothers so it was quite easy for me to hide what I was doing. When any of their clothes went missing they would argue like cat and dog and they would never suspect me, and when I reached my teen years some of my mum's stuff used to fit me too.

When I first started crossdressing it was a weird kind of feeling, I saw one of my sister's dresses and the way it was draped on the bed had some kind of appeal to me somehow. I tried on this dress but didn't know why at the time, this happened occasionally but then became an obsession when I got to about 10 or 11 years old. Even at that age I still didn't understand why I was doing it, I knew I wasn't gay but I also didn't know at the time that gay and crossdressing were not linked, I knew I liked girls so it still seemed weird and I felt like I was on my own island whilst doing something so very wrong.

I had my first serious co-habiting relationship with a woman when I was 18 years old. After the first 9 months of being together I would sometimes put on her nightdress and claim that it what just for the giggle of it, but then that quickly turned into me sometimes sleeping in it, she thought it was kind of wierd but she just let me get on with it and it didn't bother her in the least. When we finally parted it wasn't anything to do with the crossdressing, and we are still friends to this day.

During my other relationships with women I never did let on that I was doing the crossdressing thing, except for the last one I was with about 6 years ago, the last woman I lived with is the mother of my son and I never let onto her at the time about crossdressing while I was there. During this relationship I was still feeling like I was on my very own island, and then we got the internet installed. Suddenly there were all these crossdressers on their very own islands, and those island were starting to come together as one, very-very quickly, and I quickly learned that I probably wasn't more than a few doors away from another crossedresser no matter where I was. I was about 26 years old at that time.

From age 22 and onwards I have this friend, he has Klinefelter's Syndrome, has gender dysphoria, and has also been crosssdressing for most of his life. When I got to age 32 I suddenly thought to myself, "ya know what!, I'm gonna crack open a can of worms...", and my crossdressing friend was obviously the logical candidate for me to show what kind of worms spilled from the can.

When I got to age 34 I told my son's mother what I had been up to for all them years, she then proceded onto telling my son, he wasn't bothered with it in the slightest, he himself came out as gay many years later which doesn't bother me in the slightest. One of my stepdaughters needed help to understand, she originally asked if I'm gay or bi-sexual, but I soon helped her to understand and she now realises that a lot of crossdressers are actually as straight as a laser, and that crossdressing doesn't necessarily have anything to do with gender or sexual orientation.

To cut a long story short I went on to tell loads of other friends and cousins, my immediate family are also very open minded and it also doesn't bother them either, with the exception of my dad, he simply would not have accepted it and passed away nearly 5 years ago without ever hearing about it. At the end of the day, letting the cat out of the bag was probably one of the smartest moves I made, I just consider myself so lucky to have so many supportive and open-minded people in my life.

There was only ever one so-called friend that turned funny with me about it, I no longer have anything to do with him for multiple reasons including him pretending to be OK with my crossdressing when he was slating me about it behind my back, let's just say stones and glass houses and all that, but the less said about that closet-job the better.

This is my version of my story and that's what I'm submitting, I know that not everyone gets accepted for who they are, but please accept my sincere appologies if any of what I said above has offended anyone.

[Requal Jo]

Thank you for sharing Satina.

[KimberlyS]

Thanks Satina for telling us your story. It is a nice summary. Look forward to hearing more from you.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Ralitsa]

Hi Satina,
thanks for sharing your story. No need to apologize, I think most elements of your story are shared by many of us: people pretending to be ok while knifing your back, parents who would never accept it, most people genuinely not really giving a hoot one way or another.
It's great that you are so open and accepting of yourself. At 32 I was still very much in denial, and even now, many many many years later I feel like I haven't really and truly come to terms with myself.