passing or just ignored

[Wendae]

I belong to 2 TG support groups where attendance can be 50 or more at one. You would hard pressed to identify them as male. A few but 98 % pass. I have seen many of them in drab and at the time didn't realize who they were. Even male voices are not really a tell if the person dressed and self assured. Many women have rough voices more so as they age. If you don't want to attract attention dress appropriately and not like a hooker. Keep that for the "closet or mistress".

[Emily]

Even male voices are not really a tell if the person dressed and self assured. Many women have rough voices more so as they age.

You bring up a good point, Wendae. Sure we can look the part, dress the part, and even act the part, but when it comes to speaking the part...

I agree that most people out there are probably too preoccupied to notice a CD doing her best to blend in. But what of that moment when you order your lunch, are making small talk with the cashier at the grocery store, or discussing your fashion choices with a helpful SA?

Other than that, if there are no obvious stares, comments, etc... then I think that you can rest assured that you have succeeded in blending in, passing and being accepted!

[Martha G]

My voice is close to a woman's voice. So I try to feminize it and sort of speak low.

Also can say I have laryngitis!

So far I have been accepted as a woman. Which is my goal!

It's great being out and passing as a woman. Great!

Oh my!

[Kelly]

It it comes right down to it, you never know. It kind of like 'if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does it make a sound?'

Metaphysics aside, in reality there are four distinct possibilities.

A. We're passing because were good at it.
B. We're passing because everyone else is focused on what they are doing in the moment and we are just another person.
C. We're clocked, but making a big (or even little) deal about is either considered to be impolite, or not worth the drama and thus we are just ignored.
D. We're clocked and the worse possible outcome that we fear is about to unfold.

Now, D is really quite rare (just don't go into a restroom in the current climate). The rest of the time there is some mixture of A, B, and C. Their relative concentration is different each day and the amounts near impossible to gauge.

Life goes on.

Kelly.

[Angie G]

The jackoffs the would make a bid deal of seing one of us is just that a jackoff and not worth caring about.
Angie

[Martha G]

I make a very passable woman both in looks and action. I have been accepted as one also.

Just have to watch the voic.e But it has become very effeminate.

I'm sure that I would have no problem with the bathroom issue.

But in the world today, It is worth be careful.

I will now skip sitting down and fixing my makeup. I do have my compact and lipstick with me and can handle that anywhere.

I have developed walking like a woman to the tee!

I just love when I can dress as and act like a woman!

[Kitty]

Going back to Janet's original comment I have wondered the same thing. I'm 5'10" and even though I don't look too bad in my opinion there is no way anyone is going to mistake me for a beautiful woman, maybe a tall, fat, ugly old woman but not much more. In a way the fact people ignore me tell me that there is maybe at least tolerance for girls like us. Not sure it is acceptance but just an attitude of it is OK for me to live my life as I want as long as I don't involve them. I do try to dress appropriately for the situation, sure I am more apt to wear a skirt than slacks but I do dress and act age appropriate, I'm 67.

Don't try to over analyze the situation Janet and enjoy!

That's how I see. I can apparently pass as a woman because I am on social media as a woman, with photos and I get a lot of straight guys saying to me on Facebook, 'hello sweetie.'

It could be that they do think I am a crossdresser and are kinky themselves. But it might be that I pass. I have never stated I ama crossdresser and never have mentioned it at all.

For me, the wig is crucial. I have invested a lot in the wigs I have. £800. Make up too must be natural although I do like to slap it on. If that makes sense. I

[Wendae]

Lexi...I have been sired by servers at restaurants and by S/As and it hurts. One time while conducting business at an antique dealer I finally asked the male S/A to call me ma'am or Wendae and got an apology.

[Emily]

Ouch, Wendae. But good on you for getting that apology, girl! Sounds like you really handled the situation perfectly, just as any strong woman would.

[Eileen (SO)]

Wendea, a good server realizes that tips depend on pleasing the customer. Even for the gals that can't pass very well, a server should at least play along and call you madam.

Eileen

[Tasi]

Kim is right. I'm 75 and do dress appropriately but I"m an overweight, older woman and frankly who cares. Actually if you look at the Advanced Style blog http://www.advanced.style/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; we older women can get away with some pretty outrageous outfits and not worry if we are meeting some arbitrary standard of beauty. Women really do dress for other women and yes, you are likely noticed but it's more of a passing look to be thought about later. I doubt many even think about you being trans, unless of course you have dressed in something slutty because you want the attention.

Of course if you really want to be amused or maybe just appalled, check out my Pinterest page on Crossdressers at Walmart https://www.pinterest.com/tasidevil/cro ... t-walmart/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Cathey]

Tasi,

I took a look at your pintrest site . you got to be kidding me. people go out dressed like that ?? are they for real ? I know that most of us dress with style and class.

[Melissa Mac]

I think most girls have been made at one time or another. The true issue at least for me is not passing but fitting in. I'm 5'8" and comfortably fit into generally a size 14 so while I'm not a tiny thing I probably am close to size for my height. I have been out for years and have had virtually no problems. IMO the biggest reason for this is I think about where I'm going to go and do when selecting my outfit.

I lean to the "soccer mom" look. If I'm going to the store in the middle of the day it is jeans or leggings, this time of the year usually with boots. Yes I have worn skirts or dresses at times but casual ones paired with flats or riding boots. Another dead give away is hosiery. Look around and while you see tights everyday you almost never see sheer hose, no one wears then anymore except old ladies! Don't get me wrong I love pantyhose and stockings as much as most of you but let's be honest here no one wears them anymore.

Three more points need to be mentioned when it comes to "passing." First is skirt length . I love short skirts but generally leave them for clubbing and should I wear one to a more casual setting I pair tights with it. Next is shoes, particularly too high a heel. Look around and while you may see an occasional high heel at the grocery store as some woman stops in on her at home from work or an event most wear low heels or flats. Finally we need to talk about boobs. Not very many women are "stacked!" I have both C and D forms and if in doubt go smaller.

These are just my thoughts on passing. Remember if passing is your goal the object is to not draw attention. Obviously if your goal is to draw attention wear your micro mini skirt, 5" stilettos, and G cup forms.

[Linda S]

Good, sensible points Melissa!

Bust size is definitely a place where you don't want to go overboard. The most important thing of course is to keep the body measurements within female proportions. Since men generally have broader chests and narrower hips than women, we have to be careful about further emphasizing upper-body size. My "male" chest is 34", and I find that a 38B bra size, with or without light padding depending on the outfit, looks very realistic and fits well into my jacket/blazer size. Anything bigger is just too much. To further help with the proportions, I wear a panty with hip and butt padding.

As for skirt length: my legs are kinda short, so I try to show as much of them as I can. For a classy, sexy-but-conservative look, black opaque tights are a great way to wear a miniskirt or even short shorts without actually showing skin. Also, full coverage on the top helps balance the exposure below.

Another fun option with a really short skirt or dress is leggings. This works best with a casual style. I have a cute tiered denim mini that's a little too short to safely wear with hose - it barely overs my butt cheeks - but I can wear it confidently with leggings. Adding a black turtleneck, a denim vest matching the skirt, riding boots and statement jewelry makes a great outfit.

I do wear sheer pantyhose, either nude or some shade of black, simply because they make my legs look better - smoother and a more even color. And a lot of guys seem to like seeing women in hosiery, which is a nice bonus. Things may be changing (for the better IMO); I read somewhere that a survey found younger women are the fastest-growing segment of pantyhose buyers!

[BettyAnn]

Lots of great stuff here from all the girls that posted on this topic. In the short time I've been a member here I have learned so much from what other girls like me do. We ALL want to pass!!!

In my first ventures out I was terrified that someone would look at me and figure it out. I'm sure plenty did but they didn't seem to stare or even say something to me. I just tried to blend in. No short skirts or tight tops or too busty. Since my first outing as a woman, I have watched hundreds of women just to see what they do and how they act. I even checked out their makeup, hairstyles and what they were wearing for the time of day and where they were. I wanted to be them. The one thing in common that they all did...They wanted to be noticed by men or other women!!!

Well, I decided that if I was to present myself out and about as a woman, then I should be noticed and checked out too. The more comfortable I got, the more daring I got. Skirts above the knee. Stockings and daytime heels. A nice top and all the trimmings. NOT trashy, but classy. I smiled back when someone smiled at me. I found that confidence was the key and just looking good.

I had been starting to use the ladies restroom at the mall. I always tried to use it when no one was in there or the mall wasn't crowded, but it happened. I was primping in the mirror when another woman walked in and started doing the same thing right next to me. OMG !!! Then she said it "love your outfit Honey. It's nice to see that some women still know how to dress". I walked out of that ladies restroom that day a woman !!!