- Kimberlys,
Site Administrator
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hi all,
Ever hear the one about Marvin, the drunken wedding-crasher, who only realized that he'd stumbled into dear ol' departed Widow Garvey's funeral ceremonies when he finally noticed that nearly everyone was wearing black? Or the one about Strip-O-Gram employee, Patrisha, who was halfway through her routine when she realized that little Timmy and his friends looked way too young to belong to the Royal Hall Gentlemen's Club? Or the one about Dr. Howie Felter, the renowned sexologist, who realized, halfway through his conference speech, that... well, you get the picture.
What I want to say is this: to our new friends who are lurking out there, thinking of posting and joining in the Big Conversation that this forum represents, please, please, please, take the time you need to get a feel -- beforehand -- for the tone and for the atmosphere of the forum. Read the Rules and Guidelines. I cannot stress this enough, and yes, they are enforced. Read posts, scan threads, take a gander at the various Announcements and Sticky Posts, look at the Ask Us and Announcements sections of the forum. I promise you, many of your questions will be answered even before you have a chance to formulate them in your mind, and getting yourself familiar with the above will avoid your having to suffer the fate that we can imagine befell Marvin, Patrisha, and the good Doctor.
Yes, we are like a family. But we are a very welcoming one; anyone can join. Still, like all families, we have our "history," our "traditions," and our own way of doing things. Not "better than," nor "worse than." Just "ours." Please try to get a feel for it before you post. It'll help you ease into the Big Conversation and you'll find us to be very good company, indeed. We're very friendly!
I say all this because it often happens that new members don't take the time -- so little is required, really -- to familiarize themselves with the forum's etiquette before launching themselves feet first into the fray. Hell! I'll admit to having done that, m'self, all those years ago! But the forum had just under thirty members back then, not a thousand. And we hadn't fine-tuned any of the guidelines yet. The rules and guidelines are there for a very good reason: simply, we've found that this is what works best for this board. A few examples:
- WRITING IN ALL CAPS is considered shouting... don't shout at people; it's rude. Remember, the shift key is your friend.
- Same goes with writing entire posts in bold text, fancy fonts and colors; while they may make your posts stand out, they won't necessarily make your thoughts and feelings stand out, and it's also harder for someone else to read. Don't be surprised to find that your post has been edited to remove the bold text, large font and/or color for every one's reading pleasure.
- Writing an entire post without proper spacing between punctuation,like this,having sentences that seem to go on,and on,and on with no end in sight,abusing punctuation like excessive exclamation points to attract attention,and running paragraphs together without a space between them is very difficult to read,and makes one not want to read your post,no matter how interesting it might be. . . . So please, don't abuse punctuation, use proper spacing within your sentences, and between your paragraphs (ie, 2 'hard returns' or 2 'hard enters'). Everyone really will thank you for it!
- A good idea would be for you to Preview your post before you click the Submit button. Writing using BBCode software is very much different than writing in Word and the like, especially with regards to spacing and tabs (indents). Therefore, what you think you see when you are typing may look completely different when it gets posted. For example, tabs/indents, as well as 'centering' your text, do not work in BBCode at all, and they show up as a single space; using a double space between your sentences shows also shows up as a single space.
- When responding to a post, there are a couple of things you should do, and the first is to note the date the thread was started, or when the last post was made; the date will be found across the top of the post. Second, please use the Add Reply button found at the very bottom of the topic, as opposed to using the Quote button in the individual post. If you need to quote a certain portion of someone's post, that is fine, but there is usually no need to quote an entire post in every response. The Mods and Admin consider that redundant or excessive quoting, and they will delete it to maintain the forum's classy look and ease of reading . . . and your fellow members will appreciate your thoughtfulness, too.
- We know that not everyone is a great speller, or a wordsmith, but most browsers now include a spell check feature, and if not, they're not hard to find and add to your system; better yet, they're usually free of charge. Reading a post that is full of bad spelling and punctuation is mentally very tiring, as well as a pet peeve of our Mods and Admin, and any requests that they edit your post to fix spelling errors will be denied.
- Successive posts by the same author will be merged into the first post by the Mods or Admin, which is a time-consuming task for them. We prefer that responses to several members within the same topic be combined into one post which makes reading that topic so much easier for everyone. Remember, everyone can edit their post within 6 hours of it being made.
- Although you'll find the occasional swearing or sexual reference, this forum isn't intended to be a venue for explicit or graphic descriptions or language or photos; there are countless sites on the net that thrive on that kind of stuff. This isn't one of them.
- Even when you disagree with someone, bashing their heads in with a baseball bat is unacceptable in the "real world." However figurative the bat may be in a virtual gathering place, it's unacceptable here, as well.
- Photographs and images in posts will be deleted as they take up too much bandwidth in the long run, so very rarely will these ever be permitted.
- Don't re-post or quote an entire article as your post, we would prefer a brief highlight of the article in question with a clickable link to the full article; anyone who is interested in reading it will be able to without any hardship.
- Take the time to find answers to your questions and if you do not find them, then post your question in the appropriate section of the forum. Please do not contact the administrator directly with general 'how to' questions when they should be posted in the Ask Us section.
- Our administrator generally does not provide personal advice in private, so please don't ask her; that defeats the purpose of the forum.
I speak the truth when I say that the Administrator, their hands full here just tending to the mechanics of the forum. When a member (who, admittedly, often doesn't know any better... but should!) forces the Admin to don her "Cop Cap," it diminishes every one's enjoyment of the board. We are, after all, here to enjoy ourselves, to exchange, and to find healing and friendship. Even to joke around and to laugh. And, yes, to cry, too. All this can only be achieved in atmosphere that's both receptive and respectful. If we must, we will fiercely defend that atmosphere.
On a final note, and before anyone brings this up: no, in welcoming new members, we're not looking only for people who already think like we do. Far from it. In fact, quite the opposite is true. It's this forum's greatest strength that the diversity of its membership never overshadows that one thing we all share: the need to be who we are and to be welcomed and accepted -- in a word, loved -- for who we are. Truly, "E Pluribus Unum" -- "Out of the Many, One" -- never so well applied.
If you, as a new member, help to foster an atmosphere where this continues to be possible, then... welcome to the Big Conversation! You're in for a treat!
Love,
CJ
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
We thank you for taking the time to read this Sticky . . . and we look forward to your participation at the Forum!!
Have a wonderful day!
- Kimberlys