First time fear

[Jamiey]

I had recently bought a pair of woman's swim bottoms at a local store and could not wait to wear them at the beach. I showed them to my wife to get the "all clear" and the next day off we went. I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful it was splashing around and tanning in them. She told me that I had gotten a few looks from some women sitting around us. We both had brought clothes to change into for the ride home.

I went into the bathroom into a stall to get changed. A white v-neck top, pink shorts, and cute white sneakers. I even put on a light colored shade of lipstick just to give me a little more of the look I wanted. As I was getting ready to leave the bathroom, what sounded like 3 or 4 people entered the room. They were loud and doing a lot of cursing. I was scared and I am not afraid to admit it. Even though I was so comfortable in my clothes, I did not know what to expect. I opened the door and you could have heard a pin drop. They all looked a me, and I looked at the exit door. I opened the door and ran into my wife standing there. She said that she had seen the group walk in and wanted to make sure I was ok. We both looked at each other and walked to the car.

Although I had a fantastic day, felt so feminine, so fulfilled, I was really afraid of the unknown. I have never been out in public before, but really loved it. I am wondering now if I maybe over-reacted in my head to the people in the bathroom who did not say or do anything. I know that the more I get out the less fear I will have in my head. Thanks for listening ladies, I appreciate it.

[Sarah Beth]

It sounds like you had a wonderful time and your wife's approval I'm sure made the day sweeter. I'm so glad there wasn't an incident when you left after changing your clothes.

[Eileen (SO)]

Nice that you have a wife's acceptance.
Could you clear up a few questions though? Women do not but buy just bottoms for a swimsuit, maybe in Florida they do.
Wearing what you described, which bathroom to change did you use?

Eileen

[Jamiey]

Hi Eileen. Here in Florida you can buy just bottoms or tops and I was in the mens room to get changed.

[Eileen (SO)]

Oh no, Jamiey! If you want to present as female, use the ladies room. Then again, you went in as male, also not acceptable. No wonder you had a potential problem at hand. Maybe you should change at home, or in a secluded area of the parking lot. Much safer.
We don't know how well you look dressed as a woman, at a beach is much harder to pull off.

You did have a fun outing though, just be careful interacting in public when changing.

Eileen

[Anthony Simon]

If you want to present as female, use the ladies room. Then again, you went in as male, also not acceptable.

No wig, little makeup. Strictly speaking, it seems to me Jamiey presented as someone of mixed gender. No easy answer to where to end up for that one. If you start out male, the place you'd logically start would be the male room.

[Ralitsa]

yeah that's a tough call, where to change.
I find myself in that situation rather a lot actually, wearing clothes that are women's styles while clearly not being a woman. Unless I have on a wig, make-up and am fairly convincing I will use the men's room. My theory being that other men may not be happy about it, but that's their problem and not mine. While it's understandable for women to feel like their privacy is violated by a guy being present, regardless of what he's wearing.
The situation could always be potentially dangerous, and it's a good thing your wife was close by in case there was trouble. That part really irritates me, that some guys think they have the "right" to beat people up for not conforming to whatever idea they have. Well there's been plenty of wars started because of that, so irritating or not I guess it's not going to stop any time soon.

Well I'm glad that everything turned out OK for you. I like Eileen's suggestion of changing at home, and you can just bring a cover-up or something along that you can put on over your swimsuit.

[Jamiey]

Thank you all for your input and ideas. We are going to the beach again next week and I am more confident in how to address the situation. Situation is not the word to place there because I was just being my true me. If only society would just be accepting, if only...

[Janet Bern]

If you are presenting as a woman go the womens changing area
Glad you had a good day

[Paulette]

Please don't fool yourself into thinking that how you feel about yourself will keep the idiots at bay. It won't.

And it's Spring Break, so the idiots are out in force.

Do NOT mix presentations (M/F) in public unless you have developed a fine fashion sense for androgyny and are among many friends. Otherwise, do male or do female - don't mix them. Confusing or taunting the heteronormatives is a sure way to be hurt. Badly.

The rush and glorious feeling of the pink fog does not give you super powers, though it may feel like it.

I'm sorry if this sounds overly prescriptive, but many trans people have been murdered simply for being thought to be trans in public.

[Emily]

I have never been out in public before, but really loved it. I am wondering now if I maybe over-reacted in my head to the people in the bathroom who did not say or do anything.

I don't think you overreacted. One can never be too careful, especially in this type of situation. I probably would have waited for the group to leave, but it really does raise the question about proper change room/washroom etiquette... Best option would be to avoid (if possible).

Sometimes, that is not an option. I suppose the overall consensus is if you are presenting as female, use the ladies room. Hopefully there are no invasion of privacy complaints! Maybe next time, if you decide to use the ladies room, go in with your wife and she can help to give you the "all clear" when entering and exiting.