I did it!

[Nicole Rose]

so happy and proud of you lexi, it does get easier each time as long as your in the proper mood set. You are an amazing girl lexi, you can dress really nice and still blend in whatever you are doing, you are100% correct lexi, you are such a great girl here at the haven, so nice to have positive attitude mixed with smart and funny. Yes the voice is another obstacle, the less we say the better, and that's hard for some of us here ,right LEXI , you little chatter box you! Hope your journey continues with all these great outings lexi, great post girls nicole

[Estefania]

Yeah, all of what Nicole said!

Voices can be trained, but in general, people will read you as a man or a woman before they hear you talk. If they read you as a woman, unless your voice is very deep, they will likely assume you are a woman with a kind of husky voice, or fighting a cold or something.
However, if they are kind of doubting about your gender, a deep voice will tip the scale to "guy". Not the best, but hey, not the end of the world either.

Hugs,
Gaby

[Hanna]

Deanna,
I and I'm sure most of the other girls here feel or have felt exactly the same as you do.
Yes, voice is a big problem for me, and even though I think I disguise it,---- I listen to my voice on a recording and it leaves a lot to be desired. So I smile more and say less.
I really want to get the nerve up and get some help with make up and hair- like have a mini makeover somewhere.I don't think they can help with height(6'2") unfortunately.
And shoe size --13-14 women's. I love to ware heels too.
But to go out , not to be read, and or people smile at you, or say "hi"-- that certainly is an exhilarating high for me also.
Twice I had girls come to me and say something nice about my clothes, (I think they really read me) , but they were pleasant enough and sincere, I think they wanted to make me feel good. And they did.
Deanna, keep practicing with your makeup, etc.- so far it has only gotten better.for me. And I think as long as you try, you start to care less about what a few people may say or think.
"Keep on strutting"

[Deanna]

Thank you, Lexi!

Yes, voices can be trained but I think it comes down to just finding the right level and practicing. I do some radio work and I've learned many different tips to help my voice. One thing that can be applied to us is to not force anything as it should just come natural. I found my initial "voice" by talking to myself in the mirror and have now tried filming myself. When I watched it I noticed a few things I needed to correct. I think with time I can build confidence through repetition. Makeup is the other thing. In just the last month I finally used mascara for the first time (I've always been complimented on my long lashes) along with an eyelash curler as well as lip liner, and have watched and read many tutorials on applying all of it. However, there is no substitute for experience. With that experience comes confidence. The best part is the practice since I really love transitioning (at least for a few hours) and standing back and saying "wow" to myself. So, I guess all of these things (shopping, makeup, voice) are all about practice which leads to confidence.

Thanks again, Lexi, for being an inspiration!

[Emily]

Thanks again, Lexi, for being an inspiration!

Wow! Thank you, Deanna. This really means a lot. I have found so much inspiration from all the great girls here... and if I can be an inspiration too, then it just goes to show just how much support there is here at the Haven. Thanks again, girl! BTW... I know what you mean about the transitioning... going from drab to fab! It really is amazing and OMG... What. A. Feeling!!!!

so happy and proud of you lexi, you are such a great girl here at the haven, so nice to have positive attitude mixed with smart and funny.

Double wow, Nicole! Thank you so, much girl - you are a sweetie! And I honestly would have never been able to do it without your support and encouragement. Those chats were just what I needed and I can't stress enough just how much it meant to have such an awesome friend to talk to. Thanks again, girl!! HUGS! I could go on about just how awesome you are, but I'm sure all the ladies here know that already... and if they don't... then they will!



To the other girls... Gaby, Hanna - yes, the voice can be an obstacle, but a small one. It won't stop Lexi from going out. There is an MTF voice app available that I had considered getting, but just can't imagine what would happen if my girlfriend found out. So... in the meantime, I'll steal Hanna's solution... just smile more and say less. Perfect!!!

[Requal Jo]

Congratulations Lexi. Going out is not something Requal is comfortable with. She lacks confidence and courage to face the big world.

Now you have achieved this milestone in your life, all other events will become easier and more enjoyable.

[Emily]

Thank you, Requal!

I know what you mean, girl. Been there too. Only through this board and support of others here was I able to find that confidence... plus maybe just had to say to myself "screw it"! I am doing this for me and nobody else. This is what I want to do!

It gets easier each time. I find I'm beginning to make a habit out of it!

[PhylissH]

Good for you Lexi,

You found out what myself and others have been telling people for years. Most people are too busy with their own life to worry about us.
But like you I was once very afraid of going out until I did it and realized what people had been telling me was true.
Of course now the Genie is out of the bottle so to speak, and you won't be able to Her back in.
Glad you had a good outing, now you can get out and really enjoy being the woman you want to be.

[Stephanie M]

Congratulations Lexi. Going out is not something Requal is comfortable with. She lacks confidence and courage to face the big world.

Now you have achieved this milestone in your life, all other events will become easier and more enjoyable.

I've only ever done it once, and let me tell you, in a safe environment it is amazing. We went to a production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show dressed in costumes.

[Emily]

Glad you had a good outing, now you can get out and really enjoy being the woman you want to be.

Thank you, Phyliss! You are absolutely right!

And yes... now I'm wondering what the big fuss was all about in the first place!?!?

[Stephanie M]

Glad you had a good outing, now you can get out and really enjoy being the woman you want to be.

Thank you, Phyliss! You are absolutely right!

And yes... now I'm wondering what the big fuss was all about in the first place!?!?

I would imagine once you get used to being in public in fem mode that it would become second nature.

[Emily]

Quick update - had an amazing time out shopping en femme this past Friday!

Drove about half an hour to an out of town mall - I just know too many people who work and shop at my local mall, and didn't want to take the chance to be recognized. So I took the drive and I was there for almost two hours!

I can proudly say that another milestone event in Lexi's life was reached! Up to this point, I've never been to a store where there is a lot of SA interaction; and I've never been to an exclusively women's store - but I finally did it, and what an experience it was! I know that to many here, it might not be such a big deal, but when they asked me if they could start me a room... well... I just couldn't believe it! WOW! I said no because I'm still too nervous to do that, but in time, maybe...

I got a nice compliment on my top too! And all of the SA's were super friendly. Now, a note to self: Lexi, you need to loosen up a bit! Have fun, girl!

While the SA's were super helpful, not too pushy - it did seem like they wanted to engage a bit in conversation, but because I'm still a little shy and have concerns about my voice, I didn't say too much and tried my best to be invisible.

I perceive Lexi to be a fun, outgoing girl - friendly and engaging, but I guess the reality is that I have yet to work on these particular traits. Fine with me! I can do that! Practicing is half the fun! Looking forward to more outings! Next time, I will try to loose some of these inhibitions.

[KimberlyS]

While the SA's were super helpful, not too pushy - it did seem like they wanted to engage a bit in conversation, but because I'm still a little shy and have concerns about my voice, I didn't say too much and tried my best to be invisible.

Lexi, my experience is that SA's just want to help and do not care if you are TG/CD. In fact some SA's seem more helpful when they know I am a CDer. I do not go out of my way to tell them I am a CDer, but some just know. Of course some stores I have been to enough times that they know me both in male mode and enfemme.

Relax, enjoy, and have fun.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Stephanie M]

I think sometimes we can make a SA's day, at the very least we give them an interesting story to tell their friends.

[Estefania]

Lexi,

Congratulations!! I'm happy for you. I have to say that after a while, going out without interacting with people feels like just an extension of the proverbial closet... like a portable closet so to speak!

But when you actually interact, talk, listen to others, in particular those who are not known to you and they just accept you either as any other woman or as a cd/tg person, well, that's even better!


Gaby