Comments from cashiers or sales people.

[Anne Bonny]

Wow! That was very nice! It is an amazing thing to be confronted with someone caring about us personally, and providing encouragement to us and at the same time opening the door welcoming us back. I would frequent that place anytime, they would have my business too!

I am a boy with a girl inside, this is who I am and have always been and will always be and there is absolutely no shame in being who I am, absolutely right we should stop being shy about who we are inside and we simply have to learn how to step up and assert ourselves matter of fact after all we have our unique contribution to make in this world I believe the world cannot achieve it's optimum because it is lacking our input!

[Bernice]

Many years ago, I was at a Salvation Army Thrift store, in drab, and found some dresses/skirts I wanted. The clerk asked if they were for someone else, ... "because we cannot sell to crossdressers". I just said "don't be ridiculous". She sold me the items, but I didn't go back there for several years.

The last time I actually bought dresses in a store was 12 years ago. In Drab, I found three really nice dresses at a Goodwill store, and the clerk was male. Some how it came up that I was in the big city for job interviews, and he said " probably shouldn't wear one of these to an interview". I just agreed.

The only time I ever shopped en femme was in 1984, at a huge factory shoe store, with over 100,000 pairs for sale. I walked right in, smiled at the cashier, walked to the distant corner where the tall girls shoes would be, saw instantly that the only shoe larger than an 11 was a single pair of hip wading boots. Not my cup of tea, so I walked right back out.

I remember the good old days when I could find size 13/14 pumps on e-bay with sensible height (<= 3 inches). Now all they sell are 7 " stillettoes, and boots.

Hugs,

Bernice

[KimberlyS]

Well again the Sales Associates seem to show their acceptance. I have been shopping this Catherine's store for years, but it has been a bit more frequent the last couple of years. A few of the SAs in this store have gotten to know me. Well at least they have gotten to know my male side, as I have not gotten in there enfemme for a while. Last week I was in on a cold Thursday night, in male mode, and I was the only one in the store. They came out and said hi and asked if I needed help and let me know the specials. They know me and know I look around. They said they were cleaning in the back since it was slow, so they would be in and out and to howler if I needed anything. I said ok and continued looking around. Some early spring/late winter new items about and lots of winter clearance going on. I did not see anything new that hit me, but some of the clearance things I have been eyeing, so was seeing if anything I had been watching. The SA's would pop out and chat and bit and then would go back and clean some more. I had a few items and one skirt I was debating on. One of the times they came out I asked about the skirt fit and sizing. She was not sure but said it rang up under ten dollars. I then asked if I could try it on. She said of course and opened a room for me. It was not long and she was back asking how it fit, and got me a different size. Well I liked how it fit and was putting the one that did not fit back on the rack. She thanked be for putting it back and said I did not have to do that. I told her I worked retail and understood the pain of putting things back from customers. She said that was their job and we chatted some about retail. Then she paused and came up closer to me and said, "I do not want to offend.... But you can try on any thing you want in the store. We even do bra fittings". I said I was not offended and was not shy about asking to try on if I wanted to. I told her I would always be courteous of the other customers, but I was not shy about asking for help or to try on. She said that was good, and that they would always make it work some how. She went on to say I was not the only guy that came in to shop and we chatted a bit about that. I finished up my shopping, paid, and came out with quite the haul for just over $50. Gotta love clearance.

Now I am not saying this to brag or anything, but maybe to help some of you wanting to do some femme shopping in the stores, but too afraid to do it. I would say my experience is to act like a serious shopper, you will be treated like a serious shopper. The SA's are your friends and want to help you so do not be so afraid of them. The SA's are a lot more accepting than you think they are. Yes it helps to build a relationship with a store and the SA's. But I have been in stores for the first time and been treated just as well. I will say that a lot of my femme shopping is in full service stores, and not your big box type of stores. IMHO the full service stores seem to train their staff better and I think they may be getting some type of TG customer service type of training. Because even the SA's I have encountered that have seemed nervous helping a guy/CDer, they still treat me professionally. And that is all I ask. And if I am their firest guy/CDer/TG person they have helped, I hope I have left them with a good impression that I was just another customer wanting to buy some femme clothes.

I challenge those of you that want to do some femme shopping to:
- First pick a place away from home and those you know. It is hard at first to shop when you are afraid that someone you know may walk in the store when you are.
- Second pick a full service type of store. Nothing wrong with the bigbox stores, but IMHO many of their SA's are not trained like the full service stores.
- Third go in and ask for help. As an example, say you want to find an outfit like ________. Then give the type of styles you like. Then be ready for some questions, like size, color, material, who is it for....? Do not freak out here. Let me say that again, DO NOT FREAK OUT HERE. At least outwardly. You can freak out all you want inside, but on the outside, just say it is for me, and go on saying more about what you are looking for. Again do not, DO NOT FREAK OUT AND RUN. At the point the SA may or many not pause. The pause is ok as they are just aligning who they are looking at with the clothes that they have just asked for. I have yet to be thrown out of a store, or had a CODE CDER in woman's fashions announced over the PA. I have always been helped professionally, and most of the time I seem to get the normal or even sometimes get the better than normal service. Sometimes I seem to get some SA's that go above and beyond.

Go forth, shop, and have fun,

kimberlys - cd
joe in a skirt

[Annie]

I don't have extensive experience shopping for my feminine things as I have have done most of it online, but I have been been out a few times and find it is not the Sales Associates but the other customers in the store. No one has been outwardly rude but looks and whispers can be uncomfortable at times. I just ignore it but still makes me a bit self conscious.

[KimberlyS]

.... it is not the Sales Associates but the other customers in the store. No one has been outwardly rude but looks and whispers can be uncomfortable at times. I just ignore it but still makes me a bit self conscious.

Yea I get some looks some times, more so when shopping in male mode, and more so when shopping in the bras and lingerie areas. Some other customers actually chat with me.

[Ralitsa]

My experiences have been much like Kimberly's. In recent years I've not had an uncomfortable experience at any place I've been. I think they must be doing some training on that subject, especially in the larger retail brands.
Last week I was stressed over something and decided I needed to stop in at Dress Barn. I used to shop at the one in Billings all the time when I lived out there, but after I moved here I've only been to this one a few times. So we went through the whole routine: "do you need help with anything?" "not yet, want to look around a little first" "let us know if we can help"....... all that.
I wanted a few tops, was hoping maybe some of the winter styles would be on sale. Because according to the calendar we are a couple weeks away from spring, but according to the weather North Dakota is still in the depths of winter. I didn't want or need any more dresses, and yet that was the first thing I picked up So after I had a few things in hand she come by and asks if she can start me a dressing room and I say yes please.

After I'd collected about a dozen things I went to try them on. One of the tops I was skeptical of so asked her if she would give me an opinion on it. So I came out and she and the other SA looked it over. And she said she had a different top that would go better, so she got that one and a few other things for me to try on. I ended up getting a few of the things she'd picked out and a few of the things I'd picked out. 2 dresses, a few tops, and a pant for $80, not bad!

I think the last time I'd been to that store was a year ago probably, so none of us knew each other. But they were both completely casual and matter-of-fact like it's the most common thing in the world. And really, it's not a big deal so who knows why some people want to get all jacked up about it. Dress Barn in general, for a long time has been an easy place for me to shop, so I think they must have been making some efforts to be inclusive earlier than everyone else.