Feeling Like A Woman

[Davita]

What's a woman feel like anyway? Soft? What about the construction workers? Motherly? What about those women that never want children? My sister in law -- wife of my brother never wanted kids, but she was a teacher so that's understandable (I digress). Loves to dress in soft pretty things? My mommy-in-law is rather utilitarian.

I feel like a woman dressed or not. What clothes do for me is allow me to fit the societal mold better. Like I fit anyone's molds... Clothes just happen to be part of my personality -- I like pretty, soft things. I like dressing for me and for other woman. Do I feel more feminine when I do things other women do? I guess so -- it's an affirmation of who I am. Do I feel lacking when I have to dress drab? Sure -- that uniform isn't who I am and drab doesn't have a lot of ways to express ME they way I want.

Since I'm mainstream and so many folks know both of me, I don't really have to present a visual to them to confirm ME. I am just have to be myself in what I do, say and feel.

[Ralitsa]

I agree with that. I don't have any idea what it means to "feel like a woman" nor to "feel like a man". I only know what it feels like to be me, I suppose everyone else in the world have some things in common with me, and some things different.
I know how I feel when I wear guy clothes and when I wear girl clothes, and if there is any difference it is really because of the circumstances. It is more like how I feel and what I'm doing determines what I will wear, rather than what I'm wearing affecting my behavior. I believe that is true for everyone.
I know some women that I believe think and feel much as I do, and men that don't have much in common with me at all. And also the opposite.
So yeah, I don't ever expect to feel like someone other than me, but I do intend to be as satisfied with myself as I can possibly be.

[Diana Michelle]

When I hear things it confuses me. If anyone should understand the difference between sex and gender, it should the transgenders. I think you are confusing man and woman wit mal and female. With that said as calmly as I can let me go into my rant.

Just what does one mean when they say they will "never feel like a woman"? What does a woman feel like? If you mean be pregnant or give a birth, well of course not. I know many GG's who have never had children, does that mean they can't feel like a woman? I sensed very young I was different from the other boys and after a couple of years of therapy understood why and took the necessary steps to correct nature's mistakes. Does that mean I can now feel like a woman?

To me all this nonsense about feeling like a woman is a bit over done. You are what you are and how you feel. It is not that but rather what you make of it that makes you a total person. I am female, always have been and always will be. I think some of the transgendered crowd gets too deeply into all of this without a true understand of what the are or want. Females and males are "wired" differently and we see things differently because. That is not "feeling like a woman" it is nature. I know I can be as feminine in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt as I can be in a dress. Is that what feeling like a woman means?

Let go of this "feel like a woman" drivel and enjoy life. Let go of those inner thoughts and concentrate on what you do enjoy and what you want. Be the person you are best at and don't worry who or what you feel like.

[Kelly]

Nice rant Diana. Well said. And exactly how I (for one) view the consideration.

BUT, ah her comes the but.....

But let's not forget the rest of Jessie's post.

best I can ever hope to feel is..
"I feel comfortable and happy and what I perceive to be feminine and in touch with my innermost feelings and thoughts and totally engaged with being who I am without regret"

It was just a random musing she happened to express at a keyboard.

The post put sent me into a philosophical thought experiment. Much like Paulette's "How does it feel to be a bat", I decided that the only thing you know what it feels like to be is (drum role) yourself. And you are incapable of describing it to anyone else, because there is nothing you know in common with the world to compare it to.

OK, what does that mean. It means that there are something's we can feel that nobody else feels. And it means that there are feelings others have that we can never fully appreciate.

I suppose, because of the nature of this forum, that there are some some exposed nerve ending, buttons that can be pushed. For a lot of various reasons.

Consider instead the statement: "I'll never know what it is like to be a multi-billionaire. I am happy, though, with what I have accomplished and the life style I have obtained". The chorus would then say, 'Good for you, girl, I'm with ya at that' with maybe a light hearted 'but I'd like to try the multi-billionaire thing for a while' kicker.

I don't know, but that's how I look at it.

Kelly.

[Deidre Taylor]

Knowing Diana as I do I am sure she was trying to say "Be happy with who and what you are if you can shift the circumstances of your life. She and I talked at length many times before I made my decision to transition. In a nutshell she told me "Either accept what you have and look for the bright spots or make the changes you feel you need to go to tat next level of happiness". Well I decided I wanted and needed to make those changes. However that is not for everybody and I understand and respect that.

To me the root of her rant and I guess mine as well is the expression "I don't feel like a woman." She and I discussed this several times s I waited for my HT to show effects and as I moved from part time girl to full time woman. She explained and taught me to take what I had and make the best of it and enjoy it.

Consider instead the statement: "I'll never know what it is like to be a multi-billionaire. I am happy, though, with what I have accomplished and the life style I have obtained". The chorus would then say, 'Good for you, girl, I'm with ya at that' with maybe a light hearted 'but I'd like to try the multi-billionaire thing for a while' kicker.

I don't know, but that's how I look at it.

Kelly.

This is perfectly put Kelly. It says exactly what I am and I believe Diana is trying to say.

[Anthony Simon]

This is such a dumb thing to do...

There is something that happens to me when I get dressed up where I feel quite literally that I'm getting taken over by another person. This person has quite a different sensibility to the one I adopt in the ordinary, everyday run of events. To me it feels thoroughly female and I don't really have any doubt that is what it is.

If you think that's just unreal, there are examples in acting and religion where a person gets taken over by another identity. There are also examples of female impersonators (e.g. Jim Bailey, Danny La Rue, Lavern Cummings etc..) of performers psyching themselves up so that they become the character they want to portray on stage.

Nevertheless I find this a thoroughly scary thing, in that unlike the performers it is not happening in a really controlled way with me. It might be construed as quite close to schizophrenia. Except that, inside me, I feel somewhere between a man and a woman. I mean, if there's an "authentic" me, that's it.

My whole life I've been less than delighted to have some uncontrolled bit in me that seems to periodically want to be female. It's like I have this preferred image of me that is a man and that is it - and, even though I know that, inside me I feel somewhere between a man and a woman, I keep trying to mentally push myself towards this preferred self-image.

So, is it a surprise, with that sort of repression effectively, that suddenly whatever is female inside me bursts out and takes me over?

[Jenny M.]

Yes, thanks Eileen! I've said this before, but . . .

We, us CDs, have an image in our heads of what a woman is. How that image matches up to reality will never be known. We also have an image of what it is to be a male. It's just an image, an idealization. What is a woman? What is it like to be a woman? We, none of us, Eileen included, will ever really know.

(Google "what is it like to be a bat.")

We know what it's like to be ourselves. Good. That's us. Now add in all the feelings and emotions that we feel when en femme . . . it's still just us, whatever that is.

Best thing we can do is to just accept it. That's us!

Well put!

[Jenny M.]

Hard to explain, When I dress I act different. I walk different.,sit different, my hand placement is different. I feel different. sey! for me it is the close. shaving my legs. Perfume, High-heels, pantyhose.Tight fitting ,short dresses.

But I do some time ware shorts and a tank top. but they are both tight and short. something most men don't ware.

[Alexandria]

I am not as deep as many of you. I know that often there is logic where I think and about something and make conclusions. Yet there are something's that are just deep inside us with no logic. When I was in 12th grade I went to a state student council convention and saw this young man and all of a sudden I could not take my eyes off of him. I have never sexually acted out with another man and I didn't even think about him sexually. Yet that day I could not take my eyes off him, and just wanted to look at him and the clothes he had on. In 63 years I never have had that experience again. I admit I often fantasize many sexual things mainly with women, but when en femme sometimes men and effeminate men. I probably will never act on those feelings, they are not who I really am because I want a woman with curves and blonde hair like Marilyn way more than men. Yet from that time in student council I knew that I was no John Wayne anymore. Just like last night laying in bed with my cotton purple panties. I felt more at peace and warm not enough that I had to relieve myself but at peace with my inside woman self. In the same way just putting on lipstick takes me to that other place, not totally but a release like when I shaved a lot of my chest hair off and the smoothness that made me feel less stressful. You folks have effected me, I now wear secret deodorant because it feels good. I wish I would stop, because of many of my values but yet I beautiful, pretty, relaxed etc. when I am en femme. Sadly I think I could force myself to not do these things as often but I starting to see they are really there and as Paulette said one time it is my decision how far I will act on them. Yet I know there will always be Alexandria inside me just like that young man in student council stirred something in me so deep I didn't even know it was there until then. I apologize for being so long winded. Hugs Alexandria

[JessiEM]

Basically, all I said was "I can't feel like a woman, I'm not one" I can, however feel how I feel and wear what I think is appropriate and hope I come somewhere near getting it right. Truth is, I'm a guy who dresses funny(according to societal dictates), and that's pretty much who I'll always be lol I try not to analyse my feelings to much on this, but just go with how I feel at any given time, try to get into the "why" too deeply and you'll just go spare.
But hey, I love it!!

[Sandy]

I think feeling like a woman is how you feel inside your soul. The first time I put on my sisters panties I felt like I was a girl and I loved that feeling, that might be the closest moment of being a female wearing something feminine and so amazing but it was great and I still feel that way to this day. I know that I am a woman inside and that is obvious, if it wasn't that way I wouldn't be here with you girls spilling out my soul like this. I know that I feel better as a person when I am dressed up and the thoughts that I could possibly be a woman but taking hormones and perhaps getting surgery someday gives me hope that I can fullfill who I really am and that is a genuine female. Yeah I might have to live as a man for a good while but that is okay because I know that I can also be a woman when I get home when I slip into a nightie or gown or whatever.

Then if I ever decide to live as a woman full time I have that choice as well and just have to get over the reactions of soceity and I will be fine. I think its all how we perceive our selves and what we really want. I love feeling like a woman because that is who and what I really am. Its the best feeling in the world to me.

[Belinda]

I feel the same way as you do Sandy. I have been dressing since I was twelve years old when I wore a pair of my Mother's tights, it made me feel so girly. Everytime I have dressed up as Belinda I always feel Womanly. During most dressing sessions I spend a lot of time in the mirror singing along to songs by Women singers in a female voice that I have perfected. I cannot help but feel feminine in this situation.

[Noeleena]

Hi.

Sandy a ? or two for you.

Feeling like a woman. so if there are no clothes no heels makeup or any thing related to what women wear, How do you feel then , whats going on in your mind , how do you see things then,

How do you think as a person and what makes you ...you... what do you see in your self that makes you the person you are, so what is there that makes you ..feel like a woman .

Note , this is not about what you wear because you are standing alone with nothing on. is any thing different,

What makes a woman a woman how does one become one

...noeleena...

[Sandy]

I am not an expert like the rest of the girls here, I have only been around for 40 years and I have acted more manly than womanly and I just have come to the conclusion in the last 6 months that I am a woman trapped inside a mans body. I have repressed my feelings for so long ever since I was 13 and I wanted so badly back then to be a girl but I had no clue that there were transgender woman or men or etc, there was no internet for the masses or etc, I just felt like it was a lost cause so I repressed it for ever, along with doing that I also repressed my sexual feelings for the same sex and that didn't come out fully until I was 22 years old and had just served 3 years in the US Army playing soldier in the worse state in the union OK (lol, sorry to those that live there, not trying to offend) and then South Korea.

It took a lot of guts on my part to do so because everyone thought that I was crazy and that I just wanted the attention but I was really gay and dated guys. I also had feelings about dressing up that surfaced at this time and I did some, but then just recently it all came out. I dated a girl for like 3 weeks thinking that perhaps I was straight and then we broke up cause I just wasn't that person and I had sex with a guy a bit later and realized that is what I am still after all those years of not being active sexually with anyone. Then I realized that I am really a woman trapped in a womans body and that everything I read on these forums and the videos that I watched I realized this is who and what I am.

I think that you can feel like a woman without dressing up or acting a certain way initially, I mean it took me 40 years to get to this point and why do I have to hurry to make choices about the rest of my life, can I wait 6 months or a year until I dress fully, can i wait another 6 months until I start hormones, can I wait a year to 5 years until I have surgery? I mean whats the rush and why do you have to act a certain way because you are transgender? It just doesn't make any sense to me and I am not going to get hung up on that anymore. I think you can be feminine without dressing by shopping online for clothes that you like, you can be feminine by seeing a woman and telling her that you seriously like her dress or whatever she is wearing without hitting on her.

I mean I think there are ways than you can be womanly without actually the artifical part of it by dressing up. I guess you can techically say that by just dressing up doesn't make you a woman until you actually have REAL breasts or you get surgery to remove your penis and turn it into a vagina. I mean so many points either way can be argued and one side will think they will be right and so on. I think its all about how you feel inside and the confidence that you have to accept that. I used to be so hung up by people telling me what I am and what I am not and its like why am I wasting my energy to care. I can take what they have to say in but I don't have to agree or think what they are saying is right. I am sure people will say that I am not transgender because I still have a beard and do not want to shave it off but that doesn't bother me or change who I am and that doesn't change how I feel about being a woman trapped in a mans body. I am making baby steps as they seem to promote so much in the transgender community.

[KimberlyS]

Ok here it goes. I have been debating on how to answer this post but since I already have my helmet on from a previous post here it goes.

I do not know what it feels like to be a woman as I am a man. I like being a man. But I have come to realize I am a man that has both masculine and feminine feelings. No I am not a girly guy, but can look like one . No I am not one of those guys, but I am a guy that like to wear feminine clothes at times, well all the time just mixed and matched with masuline clothes.

My my masculine and feminine feelings come and go like the wind and can change as fast as the weather in South Dakota. I have been shingling a roof and suddenly felt so feminine, or was it heat stroke from working in the hot sun. I have been all femmed up in some of my finest out and about shopping for femme clothes and just felt masculine and headed for the hardware store to do some shopping enfemme. Which is actually alot of fun as you get alot of attention from the guy SA's. But normally I am just a guy with a mix of masculine and feminine feelings going about my day in a mix of masculine and feminine clothes to match my mood, and functional needs for the day.

I say be who you feel you are, wear what you want to wear, and be what you want to be. Enjoy life it is too short.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt