Dressing To Pass As A Woman.

[BelindaH]

I go out quite a bit, and i always try to dress in a manner appropriate to my age and the circumstances. I dont assume that i always pass, especially when i open my mouth (but i am working on that.). I am almost 100% of the time treated like i was a lady. I think it is important to make the effort to pass, so that those you encounter in public will understand that you are serious about your femulation.

[Virginia]

"Femulation" what an interesting turn of a phrase!

I think it is important for those of us who face "the great unwashed" keep in the back of our mind that not only are we who we are, BUT we are a representative, an ambassador if you will, of all of our sisters out or not! If we are "read" and we still carry our selves with pride we will hopefully leave a positive impression on those with whom we come into contact. It is not always about us! We represent this universe in which we live as well.

[BelindaH]

Virginia, We are ambassadors i agree. The delightfully descriptive phrase alas is not my own, but originates with Stana whose Blog is so titled.

[JanGriffin]

Going out in heels and skirt or dress is not an easy way to pass - but much more enjoyable.



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[Ralitsa]

I'm pretty sure that I do not pass most of the time, and that's OK for me. I do it not so much because I want to be like a woman, or to be seen as a woman, but because I love wearing skirts with cute tops, and dresses and other pretty clothes. For me it is very much about the clothes, the styles, how they look, how it fits, how it feels, and the happiness I get from wearing them.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

So seems quite a few here pass or blend in, okay and doing what ever ,

now heres a test not so much ...a... test more of how far can you go with this maybe for some a nerve wracking mind numbing butterflys in the pit of your well you know pit of your being and by your self .

Standing alone and yeap ....talking to a large group of people,

What do you think about this , would you do it and how would you go about this, now the subject matter something that grabs you or about your self , you come up with the detail .

lets say about an hour , what would you tell me and what you think would be the best way of doing this, the size of the groups oh okay 60-70 to 3 million. so plenty of scope,

So there you are, i,ll comment after you all have had a say, now this includes females as well


...noeleena...

[Requal Jo]

I do not dress to "pass." Like Eileen's husband, I dress to relax and for enjoyment (albeit not to go out).

I am just a male who enjoys the comfort of female apparel.

Why? Probably because my sisters dressed me as a girl in my younger years for a period of about 3 years and took me to the local park to play. Who knows the answer; and I do not care.

I just enjoy the feel of wearing feminine clothing close to my body.

[Eileen (SO)]

Dear, Requal Jo,

I like your attitude, doing what you enjoy and not care why. As long as you do not embarrass friends and family, go for it.

In his youth, my husband did not dress with sisters, he was well hidden in the 'closet'. Not understanding why the need for dressing caused more guilt than was necessary, but at the time, who to talk to?

In adulthood, he dressed privately and wished for more. Without getting too wordy, this is what he does. On occasion, he dresses at home for the of relief of dressing, and good enough to please this accepting wife. When going out, she wants to be perceived as female to avoid unasked for confrontations. Also to please the accepting wife.

Eileen



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[Martha G]

Since I am the one who started this thread, I want to thank you girlfriends for your responses.

I do make a nice looking woman when dressed as well as having a near woman's voice.

I will always try to do the best that I can to pass.

However, my greatest pleasure is the relaxation and stress reduction that dressing as a woman gives me.

So, if I pass, OK. If not I will enjoy the wonderful relaxation that dressing en femme as a mature lady provides.

Oh my it is such a lovely feeling.

[Ms. Erin]

Well girls, and ladies, it is my intention to pass but I understand that I am not there yet, but I am learning every day to get there. I do the best I can, but there are still some items that need improvement. I am paying attention to my outfits, walking, behavior and general female looks. Tonight I had great feedback from the ladies in Rainbow when I was buying yet another shirt.

It is the pleasure of finally being able to express to be who I am. In real life, no longer hidden in my home. And I hereby pledge to do the best I can to be a great ambassador to us.

Nite nite girls/ladies.

[Carol Esme]

Passing depends on the level of attention you attract. Very few of us could survive careful scrutiny by someone whose attention we have attracted by being nervous, talking in a loud deep voice or dressing like a tart. If you can dress and behave to blend into the background most people will not notice or will ignore you. If they do clock you smile and they'll join in the game.

[Ralitsa]

I agree with Anne's philosophy. I don't need to pass to enjoy wearing the clothes I like. It doesn't matter if everyone knows I'm a guy wearing a dress, and maybe people do have more respect for that, than trying to be something I'm not. I totally reject the idea that men can't wear skirts and dresses just as much as the idea that women can't wear pants. Of course I understand that some people feel that who they really are is not consistent with the body they have, and for them it's more a question of being who they really are.
That isn't me though, I'm happy enough with my body (though I could stand to lose an inch or two at the waist, and would prefer an inch or two more at the bust). I just have different taste in fashion than what is currently the trend, and have yet to hear any reasonable argument why I must follow the current trend. So I'm going to wear the clothes I like, and if I need to shop in the women's department, well that's fine with me

[KimberlyS]

Dressing to pass as a woman is always an interesting topic and one that I can seldom comment on an not cause controversy. So Virginia my turn to go to the wood shed.

I will start out by saying I agree very much so with Virginia that:

we are a representative, an ambassador if you will, of all of our sisters out or not! If we are "read" and we still carry our selves with pride we will hopefully leave a positive impression on those with whom we come into contact. It is not always about us! We represent this universe in which we live as well.

I will add to what Virginia says that every time we are out is a chance to educate the general public that we exist and are ok normal people just like they are. And eduction may come as talking to someone in conversation or some type of interaction like presenting your male ID when dressed in full femme getting and getting asked for your ID and not your husbands, followed by a double take when you say no that is my ID. But education is more likely to come from being made as you wander a mall, store, resturant, or some other pulic place and them looking at a decent image of a crossdresser being a decent human being.

I am a true believer of who you are comes from within. If you are and truely believe who you are between your ears then that is the attitude and carriage of yourself you will project to others. Clothes and your looks are your first presentation, but who you are projected to others through your actions, reactions, and interactions with others. Example is if you look great and someone still makes you what do you do. Do you get tense and nervious presenting an image that you do not agree with the way you are dressed. Do you feel you need to run and hide trying to get away from them as fast as possible. Or do say hi with a smile and continue what you are doing. Do you start up a conversation about the clothes or what ever you are looking at. What does your attitude, actions, and interactions say about you went you are out and about enfemme?

I am personally a guy that has a mix of masculine and feminine traits physically, in personally, and what I do and like to do. Most of the time I dress in a mix of masculine and feminine clothes presenting a male image to the world that fits my work or play needs for the day. But some times I need or take some more feminine time either around the house or out of the house. Living and working in a small conservative town out here on the plains of the USA with kids and a hostile ex in town, my out and about presentation in town and in the area is a blending feminine image. My kids know about my CDing but have chosen not to talk with me about it. So to minimize what they need to deal with I CD very little in town and go to area towns still presenting a blending feminine image. My work at times will take me out of my home area and then my masculine and feminine presentations can begin to mingle to a mixed mode look. Usually the first thing to go is the wig and makeup and my attire is more muted feminine often mixed with masculine. I wear alot of denium skirts anyway in femme mode but find for mixed mode they are great also with lightly feminine top or even a guy shirt. For mixed mode I usually stick with bra and smaller cups and forms, for shoes either a smaller heel or flats. What ever I am wearing it is nicely coordinated and an usually less frilly for mixed mode wear. I just want to look like a guy in a nice casual femme outfit not some fetish person. This goes back to what Virginia has said to "carry our selves with pride we will hopefully leave a positive impression on those with whom we come into contact". Yes in mixed mode I do get some more looks, but a friendly smile and a hi usually returns the same. Do I pass as a woman in mixed mode, no. But I do believe I pass a nicely dressed guy in feminine attire or a mix of male and feminine attire. People do not come after me and I have either been luckly or no one has seen a need to beat me up. And actually it has given me some nice converstations with other people or clerks in the stores. IMHO "Passing" has more to do with what is between your ears then what you are wearing. Also it sometimes seems like GG's seem to respect that I am a guy wearing femme clothes and just being myself and not trying to look like a woman.

Back to the subject of the post, do I dress to pass as a woman, no. I dress to pass as me which ever presentation I choose to present to the world. I can present a blending femme image, a good looking guy in feminine clothes, your just your average guy.

An ending comment for you to think about. We as a group whine that we want acceptance. How do we expect people to accept us if they do not know us. TS/TG want to pass because that is who they are and they do not want to be known as a guy (MTF) or gal (FTM). Most MTF CDers seem to try and pass as a woman and do not want to be seen as a guy and hate to get made. But if the general public does not know who we are and know that we are ok and normal people, then all they have to relate us to is the limited information that they have which often is not good information. Or what I have gotten often is that I am a drag queen. Well it is ok if you are a drag queen, but I am not one and I am very different from the look that they present.

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Martha G]

Halloween before last I went to my Halloween party as Mrs. Bates from Psycho.

I was dressed in a very nice old ladies dress with my broach, necklace, granny wig and granny glasses, nice petticoat and having only light makeup and some lipstick along with the slasher knife.

For the most of the evening most of the attendees thought that I was a REAL WOMAN dressed as Mrs. Bates.

One person asked me: "Aren't you a bit unnerved that most think that you are really a woman?"

Not at all. I felt great that I was perceived as a woman even dressed as an old lady.

Wow! What a great feeling that was!

[Ms. Erin]

I hear you Martha, feels great to be "complimented" when perceived as a woman. Today while shopping en Femme with my daughter, some guy called me babe, as I held the door open.