A huge day ... Acceptance

How are you dealing with or handling this aspect of your life?

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Anne Bonny
Miss Diamond Goddess
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Location: The Gulf Coast

A huge day ... Acceptance

Post by Anne Bonny »

Took some photos this morning after changing back once my son was gone...full make up, hair fixed, jewelry, forms clothes... I have been living really the closest to full time I have ever been. GIII, my oldest son the married fireman with my first grandson on the way on the 19th, was over ...helped him pick out and made the cut of some finished 3/4" plywood for him, he is making a baby changing table/base and I gave him a few tips, he has inherited my building skills...was over this morning and had a good conversation before he left in which ranging from his mother...the past 8 years...and my expansive gender and he let me understand it does not matter understands what I am enduring has been very difficult...that this is all ...these years are preventing me from having a normal life...my son J has in his way told me this too..I am glad we had a talk and a hug before he drove back to Ole Miss... I am accepted and free to live my life be who I am. I was fully male out of consideration for him as I do he gives me a call or an email to let me know...and will but he has no problem with who I am have always been.

It is very good to have that besides my poor wife who is no more mentally, these are the closest people to me...our children of course. My wife well...it is harder on a wife but she understood tolerated knowing it was just something I could not help.

Internally ....there is a rightness in how I feel, a peace how can I describe the thrill and the joy and relief?...I can be who I am.

It should be no other way in life...would that I could have lived as freely over the course of preceding years in my life before my parents and sisters too bad but different times very hard understanding acceptance were not would never have been there for me. The one sister I told the one closest to me basically fine do what you need but finally let me know she really no longer wanted to know or to discuss it anymore...sad. My half sister I talk too all the time too traditional, conservative, religious so that is also sad for people like us who feel we cannot find any basic and true acceptance of who we really are in life by our own families...sad again.
But this is life for us.

Friend: I think it is very sad when people choose to shut out people when they don't relate to their lifestyle.
Neglect
It's a form of abuse
More mental than physical sometimes.
I hate this response in humans... It just furthers disorder and pain. It is sad that some bit of our normal is to put up with pot hole... Usually abusive pot hole.

Me: Gee... when my hair gets longer...it will help me to look better. Will be looking for the fine balance to go both ways. We are an abused group...by everyone...with absolutely no reason for it at all because we are no different than anyone else, their religious and cultural/social standards are all arbitrary. Gender does vary and for some more than others yet we are as intelligent as productive and successful in life in every way as upstanding one day people will realize what an outrage it has all been through all generations perhaps one day it will end. I hope.

I hope so too
Is as it is. There is change we deal with it adjust as we must and live our lives and move on.

Friend: Sadly, as long as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam survive... The stigma will exist. The Bible, Koran, and Torah all have scripture that people use as a basis for discrimination.
I hope people will get it right and quit being ignorant.. But I meet stupid people that care only for themselves and their lifestyles everyday... It seems like some of the discrimination will always be
There.

Me: People of faith...I am agnostic, not atheist or theist, have nothing against either but they believe their standards are absolute coming from a God...A god who they believe in like children believe in Santa Clause but they have no definitive proof that God exists in reality and there will never be any.
Go with the flow
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DonnaT
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Location: No. Virginia

Re: A huge day ... Acceptance

Post by DonnaT »

congrats on being accepted!
DonnaT
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Anne Bonny
Miss Diamond Goddess
Posts: 2577
Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
Location: The Gulf Coast

Re: A huge day ... Acceptance

Post by Anne Bonny »

Thanks. Yes it is wonderful.
Go with the flow
Ralitsa
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Location: center of North Dakota

Re: A huge day ... Acceptance

Post by Ralitsa »

I'm glad to hear this Anne.

This is major progress. For the last however many years the threat, or maybe stigma of being "not one of them" has been hanging over you. And I know this has tormented you. And as much as I've said that you should tell them all to stuff it, that's not the sort of person you are. So I'm very happy to see that now those who are important in your life are accepting you, and have come to the point of acknowledging that a person is their soul and their personality - not just gender, or clothes, or role playing, or a paycheck.
This is such a struggle for so many people. Women often complain that they feel objectified, and viewed as nothing more than a sexual object. And men usually feel, though rarely express it, that they are nothing more than a meal ticket, working like crazy to pay everyone else's bills.
So I feel like the breakdown of gender roles is really a necessary step to really accepting a person, as who that person IS. And not just as what that person can do to satisfy some need of mine.

I'd say that we do have a definite responsibility towards a spouse and children, but nobody else. If the rest of one's family doesn't like it, well too bad. I don't know about you, but I was never consulted in the matter of who my parents and siblings would be, and so I take no responsibility for their opinions.
So I'm glad that your sons are understanding about it. At this point, nobody else is really relevant to the subject.

This is a big turning point for you, I think it marks a brighter and happier future.
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Anne Bonny
Miss Diamond Goddess
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Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
Location: The Gulf Coast

Re: A huge day ... Acceptance

Post by Anne Bonny »

Yes it is. The final hurdle once the love of my life also leaves me...succumbs to the ravages of Alzheimer's...will be to find a companion. I simply find living without one extremely difficult. I do not do alone very well at all, but this time around, my wife understood and tolerated and loved but was not able to fully embrace all of who I am and that was missing, next time I will not settle unless I can find it. We simply have to be able to be who we are rather than who others want or expect for us to be...No one has the right to force us to pretend to be something we are not and have never been so that they are happy, so that they are comfortable, so that they can define who we are to meet their need. We need to find someone who loves us just the way that we are, for all of who we are inside and out otherwise it is not love that is completely free unbounded and unrestrained loving us fully for all of who we are...just the way that we are. Find that and you will have found love.
Go with the flow
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