Crossdressers-Haven.com

I had a great day yesterday. I had the house to myself and took the time to make a new gaff, try on some new dress, take some photos, chit-chat in the chat room. Just had a really nice time. Even when out to do some shopping in a pair of fem jeans that I bought and just love.

But last night my SO came home and started telling me all these things she can't do because we haven't talked about the way we make each other feel. She unloaded a mess of things on me and when she was done I made the mistake of telling her that I felt it wasn't far that I had to hide my CD from her. She replied it was because she was not attracted to woman and didn't want to see me in a way that made her less attracted to her.

We talked a little more and I thought things went well. I felt we had moved on and I was going to get spend more time at home in dress as long as we respected each others boundaries. Sadly this morning she woke me up before she left at work to tell me she doesn't find me attractive at all anymore. Only part art of which is because of my CD. She doesn't want to end it but then again she doesn't know what she wants. We really didn't have time to talk about so I'm sure there is a discussion waiting for me when I get home.

I'm not looking forward to going home tonight. I don't see this going well.

Things do sound rocky but I wish you the best.

Leeza

I'm home. There is a calm. I'm waiting for the storm.

I hope things are OK for you Lily. Sounds like it could be a stressful situation. I would be confused by her comment that she isn't attracted to you at all anymore, and that is only partly because of your CDing. Yet she doesn't want to end it.

Sounds like she is in a state of confusion regarding your relationship. I think that you should ease up on the CDing short term (the often used phrase used here "baby steps" comes to mind). I would also suggest you listen to her completely and resist the urge to argue with her. This may be a case of too much, too fast.

Hopefully you are able to get it back together. Good luck!

Jessica

Your spouse is dropping a bomb on you, Lily, and it hurts to think about.
It sounds like she is trying to be honest with you. By the time you read this you'll probably know more what it is about. To find out what's been going on behind the scenes is sometimes a relief, even if the negotiations themselves hurt a lot in the beginning.

Hope everything turns out ok for you, the worst part is the waiting and not knowing.
Good luck.

Well she is asleep. Things went okay, I can see this is going to be a long drawn out discussion. Thank you all for your support.

Lily,

I agree with Anita on this one. The verbiage she selected sounds to me like the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" kind of chat. It's a bombshell. Of all the times I have ever heard a woman say she was not in love with someone anymore, I have never seen one re-fall in love. I'm sure it happens, but I believe it's rare. I think her reference to not finding you attractive is just a metaphor for that, since obviously you have not changed.

I believe what she is telling you is that she no longer sees you the way she used to. That simply knowing has changed how she feels. I hope this is not the case, but that is what I got out of it. Good luck and keep us posted.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Hi Lily

I'm sorry to hear that things are so stressful right now. I hope they manange to work themselves out.

I'd suggest putting the CD stuff on a back burner for a while with a spouse. It sounds like there is other stuff going on as well. I dson't want to try to interpret what she said here on the forum but it does sound like she is feeling discouraged.

Let us know how it goes.

Zari

I hope things only get better for y'all, Lily. Been there and things did get better.

You might try romancing her like you did when y'all first met.

Do you know of any other CD that has a SO? If so mabey you could get your wife to talk to the SO. It may help with all the confusion and such. I remember when I told my wife I was a CD. She was not compy with it. Then she went to my Tri-Ess meeting and meet some of the other SO/wifes and since then not only has she join my Tri-Ess chapter as a member but we have taken two CDer's under our wings to help them along.

Good Luck to you Lily!!

Erica

Sorry sweetheart but time heals all hurt and I agree with my sisters as it is time to back off a little while until things settle down.

Thanks everyone. We are talking about it a little each night. I wish I did have some CD friends with SO's but I don't.