Crossdressers-Haven.com

Today I went for it and told my daughter my new orientation. I told her that I am almost sure I am a transgender, and that I am exploring my self. Wow, that's out the way, now my other daughters an son...

Good for you Erwin. Hope everything works out for you.

Great job! Thats what we have to do, slowly come out to the people that matter to us. I have told a couple friends and I told my mom and they have all been very suportive and I will tell the rest when I am ready and I think its a good time. There is no rush on it to be honest. Baby steps are always the best steps in my opinion. Great job Erwin!

Whatever else this is, Erin, it isn't slow. I mean, not if you factor everything else you've done.

You come across as a very serious, honest person (anyway to me) and the way you're being treated in shops when you buy stuff seems to say that's the way you're coming across there too. It's like you've absolutely, decisively made up your mind about some sort of life change and are going for it.

Maybe that's why your woman friend seems to have misgivings - suggesting you go to a therapist - because this is so quick and decisive and she doesn't really know what it amounts to, not being a specialist merely a friend.

Thanks for the kind responses. Yes it does appear to go faster then it seems to me. I must admit this. At the moment i am constantly involved in my progress and i think its partly due by the positive reactions and my excited feelings.

I am also doing a lot of research, i just downloaded two books, one about TG and one about CD.

I really think i am going in the right direction this time, in my identity search.

I think, at this point, "the pink fog" ought to be mentioned. This is when the whole dressing up thing becomes so intoxicating and wonderful that a CD feels she can do...Well it affects one's judgement.

I don't think you've got this, in that you do come across as doing basically the right thing for you. But there might be some elements of it. Like one of the elements of "the pink fog" can be that caution gets thrown to the winds - I've certainly felt that happening with me. And actually when that happened with me, I decided I had to make an appointment to see my analyst because I thought I'm going to get myself in trouble if I go on like this.

The reason I'm saying this is that, while you buying stuff and experimenting to find your female side and maybe go out in due course sounds fine to me, I do have some concerns about the way your need to share might have an impact on your personal relationships.

It often happens that while a CD is absolutely in love with their new understandings about themselves, when they come to share it with those around them there are problems. The whole issue of how and when and why you share is one of the major areas of difficulty for a CD. The trouble is, if you are in a pink-fog state - or one kind of related to it - you are so taken up with your new discoveries that you are simply unaware that these problems exist.

This is actually why it's good to see a specialist (and there are gender-orientated specialists out there), because you get to talk through your new discoveries with someone who both knows the area and can talk to you about the how and why and when of sharing.

Wow those are some good points you mention. I will be reading the eBook I bought tonight and see what they are mentioning, and combine your advise with it.

Thx, Erin.

I don't have any wise advice to give, but I will only say congratulations and I'm glad it went well.
I guess telling the first person about it is the hard part, because once you say it, it becomes real. Before that, you can always pretend it's just in your head and will go away. 'course it never does, just go away...........

Anyway, for my own part, once I admitted it to myself, decided the whole world could know about it and I didn't care, and concluded that I have as much right to wear pretty clothes as anyone else, I was suddenly much more at peace with the world.

Ralitsa wrote:I don't have any wise advice to give.

Naah, I'm not letting you get away with that. Wise or not, it balanced what I said (wise or not) and needed saying.

As of today my kids now. They support me completely and as long as I am happy, they are, so they told me. We had great Mexican dinner as well, and it was my daughters treat.

Great feeling to have told them. My oldest daughter asked me if I know local people or if I am with a local or online group. So I mentioned I am a new member to this wonderful forum where there is lots of advise, help and above all, where you are respected and accepted in your feelings.

Thanks girls for letting me in the Family.

Today I told my hairdresser, who is also a very good friend and knows a lot about me, about my situation. And she took it real great. She thinks that if that's the way I want to life then that's okay.

Now most people close to me know, so I think I have enough "coming out" for a while. Until I feel more "Ms. Erin.".

I have had a great weekend ladies, even though it had a bad start, I did accomplish a lot. People close to me know and some don't agree but do respect me and are happy if I am happy. (my weekends are Sunday and Monday night)

I now life this life as much as I can 24/7 except when dealing with clients and working at night, so I am still absorbing and evaluating my experiences, but I feel pretty good about it.

Time to slow down a bit and keep at the level that I am in for a little while, but I can't wait till the middle of November when I will be going to the club.