I have a new problem

[Rhanda]

I am not sure if this belongs in this category. If not, I would like it to remain forum where it belongs.

My wife of sixty some years has been accepting of my cross dressing for many years but as of late she has been reluctant. This is not because I have been pushing it any more than in the past. She has become upset by the issue made by state legislators on the restroom issue.

Some of the most out spoken on this issue show their ignorance by calling CD's and CG's perverted. This we know is not generally true. Not that a pervert could not be of any gender.

We have a new battle on our hands just when we seemed to be gaining acceptance. I just wanted to start a new conversation on this subject.

Rhanda

[Martina Hall]

Beware tranny rapists!! This election-year pandering to the dense and paranoid is unfortunate, but predictable.

[Janet Bern]

I like Donald's answer
It hasn't been a problem for all these years. Leave it alone.
Makes sense to me

[DonnaT]

There is even more of an issue when it comes to CDs. Transgender, as contemplated by the various governments, is someone transitioning or who has transitioned.

CDs fall under the "men dressing as women" portion of the debate.

If a CD gets arrested by the authorities, and testifies under oath regarding their gender identity they are trans, will they be charged with perjury if they continue to live the life of a man?

So far, the debate hasn't included anything about crossdressers per se. Those bringing up the issue of the "men dressing as women" are calling transwomen men.

[Diana Michelle]

Interesting slant on the subject Donna. I never really thought about it before but you are correct in this one. For those of us who have transitioned and had surgery it is not an issue as much as it to the "Casual" crossdresser for lack of a better term. I have been involved in the LGBT community for years and cannot think of a single girl I have met who I would even consider was dressing for the purpose of gaining entry to the women's restroom. Sadly the misinformed are just clueless on this subject. With all that is going on in this country and world its sad this is the best many of the current crop of politicians can find time to waste government money on.

[Rhanda]

This has taken a different direction than I had in mind. My problem is with my relationship with my wife, who was openly supportive of my dressing and my wearing makeup and is now critical of my efforts to be a beautiful man wearing styles that were created for women, and the wearing of makeup.

I haven't backed off though because it hasn't become an ultimatum.

Have any one else had anything like this happen?

Rhanda

[Martina Hall]

Don't know what to make of this, Rhanda. After all these years, do you now look better than her? Some jealousy there, on her part?

[Anthony Simon]

Well, I don't know. My read would be that she is concerned for your safety. It's difficult to know if that's a legitimate concern at this distance (I'm in the UK), but I would doubt it. That is to say I wouldn't have thought that the fuss about the restrooms would embolden people to be that much more unpleasant to CDs walking about.

I think people need to get themselves really wound up before it translates into making the atmosphere that much worse (in general) - and I don't think they're anywhere near that point. Of course, you could get unlucky, but...(IMO).

[Eileen (SO)]

Most likely, I've shared the restroom with CD's or Trans dozens of times without ever being aware of doing so. If you look and act the part as female, most women will go along and wonder about you privately.
No laws or store policies needed to be changed except to now include how one identifies themselves. I have a big problem with this language. Instead of trying to look like a woman, any man that claims to identify as female can use the Ladies, regardless of how they dress.

I believe this wording change has brought more scrutiny to your community than before. While I love and accept my husband's dressing, if a man dressed as a man comes into the Ladies room when I'm doing business, there's going to be a fight. I have privacy rights as well.

Rhanda, with women on guard more than before, your wife is concerned not only for your safety, but that public knowledge of what you do will reflect on her.

Eileen

[Paulette]

Regarding the law: this is absurd!
There has been no instance of any transwoman or anyone so self-identified ever having entered a ladies room for the purpose of spying on, molesting, or raping anyone there. None!

Regarding your wife: WTF? Has she suddenly changed her mind? Is she a strong conservative who has just been giving you a pass because she's married to you, and only now had second thoughts?

Rather than making assumptions or playing guessing games, you need to talk with her. Why, after all these years has she suddenly changed her attitude? Talk to her.

[Davita]

When I came out to my mom, the only thing she said was that she was worried about the crazies out there wanting to beat me up. Maybe that's what has changed, Rhanda. Maybe she's worried about all the extra scrutiny we are getting from the crazies.

[Anne Bonny]

I suppose I should say Personally...because others here will have an opposite opinion than mine which is perfectly fine but this is how I feel about this and I am as entitled to hold my opinion as any with other opinions are entitled to hold theirs. We are a tiny little minority of people trying to gain acceptance what do some of the more activist leaning among our group do!? So...now yeah people are becoming aware of who we are then this happens. Personally I do not hang out in bars filling my bladder then needing to use the rest room. I go prior to leaving home or wait until I get home. Personally If I were out I would try to find a single serve bathroom or use the male bathroom since I have not and will probably never opt for surgery. Would I be subject to snide remarks possibly some physical assault...yeah this would happen no matter which restroom I would choose...by other testosterone infused immature knuckle dragging red necks in the men's room, but in the Women's restroom do you honestly believe they are not going to make snide remarks and possibly take a swipe at you with their purses? Women when their private area is invaded can be just as angry, hostile and possibly violent as the men would be...so what's the issue? Gender angst!? We are going to pee in our own soup because of gender angst over not being able to invade a space where women have an expectation of privacy!? Granted women have stalls so while we may be hanging our Penis's out over the urinal we are exposed to FTM's entering to use the stalls behind us? I think the entire issue is ridiculous.

If you have transitioned and are now physically constructed as a woman...then go to the women's side, or if you have had a Penis constructed so that you now have one go to the Man's side. Should be simple enough.

What I do not appreciate is because of this small activist minority who believe ridding their selves of their angst is of supreme importance I may now be at risk of inflamed feelings and someone is now more likely to hurl an insult or take a swipe at me because of what they have done. Further People will now have reinforced the idea that we are all perverts.

So I disagree with what these activists and their gender therapists are pushing because it is not that important and they are inflaming passions against us even more than they were previously with the possible result that we are now much more likely to be seen as perverts and subject to heightened attention, the threshold for hurling remarks and insults at us is now lower and more likely as is the possibility that we may be subjected to physical violence because passions have been inflamed. All because some find having any angst is too much to bear...suck it up! Use some common sense. Our teeny tiny fractional practically unknown minority status as a sub set of 99.999% of the rest of society has just waived a red flag in front of a very angry 2000 lb bull practically a suicidal action to take making our lives worse for several years to come.



As far as your wife's change...perhaps you should discuss this with her, what has changed? I am very lucky that except for my severely demented wife who no longer knows who I am let alone say anything intelligible at all anymore if she does make any sound or movement I am alone. I am completely free except when family come from out of town for a visit who do not know all of who I am. I have no plans for another marriage, but any partner I may find will have to enthusiastically embrace all of who I am or forget it. I suppose I will have to just adjust to being a recluse.

[Wesley]

So I disagree with what these activists and their gender therapists are pushing because it is not that important and they are inflaming passions against us even more than they were previously with the possible result that we are now much more likely to be seen as perverts and subject to heightened attention, the threshold for hurling remarks and insults at us is now lower and more likely as is the possibility that we may be subjected to physical violence because passions have been inflamed. All because some find having any angst is too much to bear...suck it up! Use some common sense. Our teeny tiny fractional practically unknown minority status as a sub set of 99.999% of the rest of society has just waived a red flag in front of a very angry 2000 lb bull practically a suicidal action to take making our lives worse for several years to come.

Being a conservative crossdresser, I totally agree with your point here. Whereas before, acceptance was more or less forthcoming. Now anyone who crossdresses is looked at with contempt, scorn and derision. Without a doubt all of us to crossdress to any extent understand that a crossdresser is NOT going to enter a ladies room unless they look the part and Gawd forbid if we did not ACT the part. . Hence crossdressers were not known (or thought of) and certainly not a threat.

For the record, I only underdress and have never attempted to enter a womans room. Nor do I have any desire to.

Once again, the phrase "I am from the Government and I am here to help you" is cause to run!

[Eileen (SO)]

Regarding your wife: WTF? Has she suddenly changed her mind? Is she a strong conservative who has just been giving you a pass because she's married to you, and only now had second thoughts?

Given the number of conservatives on this forum, that is an awfully ignorant statement.

Whatever our political views, Davita, Anne, Wesley, and I seem to be close to agreement. Public scrutiny has changed. The liberal agenda has pushed many past their limit of acceptance.

Rhanda's wife's views didn't suddenly change. Public awareness did.

Eileen

[Ralitsa]

I also agree with Eileen.

The whole subject became a question of political correctness as soon as the government (whether state or feds, doesn't matter) decided to legislate something. Before it was a question of common decency, consideration, and understanding. A person was considerate to others because it was the decent thing to do.
So if it's a matter of law and political correctness, now a whole lot of red blooded americans are going to stand up and say "the government has no business telling us what to do" and will rush right out and do the complete opposite. (I've been guilty of that, a time or two......)
It's perfectly admirable to rebel against laws, but it's pretty cowardly to harass a subset of people who are merely trying to live their lives in a way that makes them happy. So the whole situation is turned on it's head now. I hope that nobody will go to any crazy extremes, but there is no guarantee that they won't.