How do you feel about being a man?

[Anne Bonny]

I feel let down. It holds no appeal, I am disappointed. It is just a boring fact about myself. There is nothing exciting about being a man that I like. The clothing while comfortable and muted and drab is monolithic in style, a style which has changed little over the decades. We are 30% stronger than women on average, we are on average taller and bigger with deeper voices. I am just extremely bored sitting here from day to day knowing yeah...the heavy, hot, sweaty, and dirty work is reserved for men...taming the lawn, mowing, edging, bagging, or just blowing in the heat coming in covered with dirt and dust and sweat in wet clothing energy sapped by the heat. Or we are the ones tasked with maintaining the cars, taking out the trash and then the garbage to the curb. We are tasked with MR. Fix-IT tasks too. Is this what they call dysphoria? It is really the boring sameness of it all, so dreary and drab.
We have to shave every morning but already by noon our faces are beginning to feel rough from new stubble because it never stops.

We get the shaft again in that we are the ones tasked with the responsibility for bringing home the bacon, it is expected and if not done we are judged completely worthless or a poor choice as a mate.

If you are not into Pro or college sports, hunting/fishing, you have little to share with other men. Men do not tend to hang out with each other very much anyway. Who gives a manure about any of this anyway? I like to sail...but competition? Auto racing like watching paint dry.

So a man sits around watching an action movie drinking a beer on the couch then goes to bed.

[Angela Newel]

Unfortunately, I feel much the same way. To cope with the sameness of my male existence, I find myself just coasting through life, with so little to be excited about.

I wish I could love being a man. If for nothing other than my wife's sake. She deserves one, a real one. I'm thankful that she is willing to take me, but I wish I could give her more.

[DonnaT]

I feel fine, as a man. No issues other than my weight.

[Rikki]

I lost my "Man License" a long, long time ago when it comes to sports and the typical things a "Man" should be stimulated by. I'd sooner watch Project Runway or Say Yes to the Dress than any pro sports event on TV. I avoid almost any action movie in favor of a warm romance flick.

And like you, Anne, being the pack animal around the house sure gets old at this point in life. But like you refer to a lot, I am pretty fluid. Happy some days in my male-ness, ecstatic on others in femme-mode. Balance, I guess is the key. A balance that provides happiness for me as well as those close to me.

Guess it all goes back to playing little league at 7 years old. Stepped up to the plate and got nailed with a fastball. Hated team sports from that day on and wanted so much to go play with the girls, giggle and dance. Like you, I love sailing, skiing, hiking; those personal sports that pit you only against yourself and nature.

Anyway, time to get frilled up and get to work.

Enjoy the day,
Rikki

[KimberlyS]

For the most part I am ok with being a guy. Sometimes I wish I was more like a guy and more masculine. But once I accepted that I have feminine traits and it is ok to have feminine traits and like feminine things as a guy i am pretty ok with being a guy, a guy in a skirt, a guy in a dress, a guy that can look like a gal. Some people may called me mixed up. But I have come to accept I am just a guy who has a mix of masculine and feminine traits and likes.

[Emily]

Sometimes, Anne... I can totally relate. Other times, I'm quite comfortable being a guy.

I've never really been into cars, racing, sports, fishing or hunting (I'm vegetarian!). A lot of guy conversations revolve around those things, so casual guy talk is definitely not my forte, but I can usually manage just fine most times. I do hate shaving though. Ugh. What a pain...

When I was much younger, I wanted so much to be a girl. Would dream about it... but eventually, at some point, those feelings disappeared, until my mid teens when I discovered CDing even though I didn't understand what it was at the time. But it was something that I was into on occasion (not full on CDing - that didn't really start happening until about ten years ago).

These days, I am OK with being a guy but I really cherish and embrace those times when I can get all dressed up and feel fem.

Oh... and BEER! That's one guy thing that I can appreciate completely, LOL!

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Do you think maybe some of us females are quite happy doing male work slogging it out military ,
working in the heavy building trades farm work light engerning and home DIY and driving heavy trucks and so on. I did ,

I could not see myself when aged 10 doing that inside sitting down writing and office work, school was bad enough its a wonder I got through that ,

and I enjoyed doing what I have done over the years some 50 in the work force , responceabilitys yes I had pleanty and just got on with it, in the main I had a privilege in being able to be born the way I was, and that gave me an insight in to seeing things from maybe how a male saw things , I wont say in all aspects yet a few helped me ,

This male card thing well that was given to me as well , heres the ? do you have to be a male to have it maybe males saw me as different yet never ? ed me yet accepted I could do many things men could do so I was accepted in to that male world was it so bad , in my case ,I was able to move through it because I keeped my mouth shut tight, and I was never asked are you a male or female,

To night I had to laugh I went to our concert Bands concert held in the big building in Hobart Australia and was talking with a guy he then turned to helen who was working with him and said this gentleman needs some help in getting to the upper room to do photography of our bands so we sorted that so a natter with helen and all ready so I went back to the guy and said nicely... oh by the way I'm a female well helen and another woman laughed as the poor guy went red and said

..... oh I'm so sorry. we just laughed and I said oh don't worry I get that a few times, for myself I gain friends very easerly and how I go about talking with people and invite them into my life and it can be heaps of fun as well ,so what maybe an issue I change it to I have gained a friend..... love it .....

Cars trucks and heavy gear yes well worked on them muck and all and welding I may not know all the talk though I can fix them on the farms you had to learn fast and fix any issues that came up and breakdowns ,so then being a female can we , I compliment men , I think so if men give us room to work along side them ,

The only thing to me is look at us not as sexy beings and have to be dressed all nice and proper all the time just give us our space and I think we have more to offer when we are seen as work mates.

...noeleena...

[Jina James]

I like it very much and would not trade, even if I could. I need to lose weight and get in shape, of course!

That's just me.

[Requal Jo]

I am male most of the time, with only short periods of Requal in my life (not enough time as I would enjoy).

Being male to me is my life due to my past Defence Force Service over 20 years) and the hobbies and community groups I belong to. However, now in my mature age I find that I miss being Requal more than being male.

[SarahMicheline]

I am ambivalent about being a man. Unfortunately, Sarah so rarely gets to go out.

I must admit to being jealous of the women in around the city centre at lunchtimes as they wearer their pencil skirts, heels, tights and satin tops, makeup and smell so feminine, as I wonder around in my drab shirt and suit, so boring.

Saying that I have always had a split personality when it comes to Sarah. As a child dreaming and praying that I could click my fingers 10 times and become a woman, but would always want to be able to come back to being the genetic male that is my reality.

[April Rose]

I don't really have so much a problem with being male, as with the current state of male socialization.

[Pam T.]

I don't like being a man at all, I really wish that I wasn't one but I cannot do anything unless I get surgery and start taking hormones, until then I just deal with it. I am very passable and sometimes will dress at work and sometimes I won't. I am very feminine and have very femme manners and attitudes and have been that way for the longest time. I do sometimes get made fun of for wearing the clothes but as time goes on my confidence has been building dressing up and getting thick skin.

I would love to get SRS one of these days and be at least a female in that sense. I hate being a man!

[Paulette]

This question keeps popping up, and I keep answering it the same way.

I am what I am, a man who likes to dress in women's clothing occasionally, and make love to a woman as a woman, occasionally. I don't experience dysphoria, and I've never wanted to be a woman other than in fantasies. I have no idea what it would be like to be a woman, though I'm quite aware of the hypersexualised femininity that most males including myself find attractive in porn. I can't imagine a woman actually feeling that way rather than playing a role.

I plan on taking estrogen in hopes of experiencing a more feminine perception of the world, and a greater sensory experience. But that won't make me a woman, just a man taking hormones. Just as taking a hallucinogen will change my perception and thinking for a time, but it's still just me experiencing that drug.

I've learned to "pass" in a limited fashion, just as I learned to juggle and busk as a street performer - in a limited fashion. That didn't make me Phillipe Petite or The Butterfly Man, just a very low level street performer. I learned each thing because I wanted to see what was possible for me. I wasn't very good at either one, but I could make a very modest living and appear to be a minimally acceptable woman. But in each instance I was simply myself, in costume, doing a carefully rehearsed routine.

Yes, I feel a strong urge periodically to dress in satins and nylons and wear a wig. But then, after a little self-stimulation, it's over. When I was married I enjoyed dressing around the house, but had no urge to go out dressed - I've done that, and the satisfaction was ephemeral.

Maybe I'm too old for this.

[Anne Bonny]

Very interesting...Yes, I agree. We dress up something drives us we identify and want to be and it is also erotic tends to come periodically and has my entire life since about the age of 9? before that?? really do not think so though I do recall some incidents...perhaps those oh...non abusive incidents...added up in my mind...planted ideas which at the age of discovery boom! put me over the top and I became addicted! I was surrounded by two sisters...a strong mother...and a wonderful father who worked long hours and was occasionally gone for long periods (military pilot).
We are all unique but I do believe there are similarities which tend to add up and then .... boom!

I am actually wondering now at age 59....with the wife going to die sooner now rather than later leaving me absolutely alone, being a heterosexual, knowing my best look is as a man...

I feel there is something twisted with half my brain stuck around a corner...Of late...I have been very very successful moving back and into myself as a man, actually thinking properly about women...not wanting to be but wanting which is right. Feeling better about myself as what is correct....I am a man...XY chromosome...genetic reality...wired this way mentally...discovering and moving into my male persona BUT! With the recognition that because I am messed up it is not going to be perfect and I will desire to move to my feminine side, feel in touch with beauty, pretty and wonderful feminine clothing and mindset...it is something that may decrease but it is not something I can really do anything about.

The ever important key is always that if there is a goal...that YOU HAVE TO WANT THAT FOR YOURSELF! I do want to be more conventional and normal because that is the only way I will ever be able to throw open the doors as wide as possible to attract a new woman into my life. Women want a man, they want a man to be a man, that is what they want. They want a man to be everything they expect a man to be...strength, dependable, supportive, faithful, bla bla bla.... Hey I am that...I can be that...and I can and will be that because having a woman and not being alone is more important to me than anything else in life. 90% of the enjoyment of life is being able to share the experiences of life with your other half because without that life is a desolate, barren desert. I need that as much as I do air to breath and without that I may as well no longer be here.

So if I need to work back to full time manhood to get that...well you can do anything you want to do. The key as I said is you have to want that for yourself more than anything else...now I will not purge...it will not be perfect but I do want that.

[Noeleena]

Hi,
Anne,

Your best look is as a man, interesting , do I understand that , do I get what your saying do I see it from your eye,s do I feel it what will puzzle me is can I , I,m not sure I can yet when I understand the Emotional Mental and Psychological then I,m being pushed into a very tight corner.

I'm not sure how I answer your detail , maybe I can not, really it comes down to what makes a man the way he is ya I know how we are born .
From a female how I see it wow , To me a complete change of thinking and my whole being is brought into a state of difference you understand how to think as a male I don't , its in how we are hard wired , I know I lack the understanding to see as you do and even just trying to is quite complex in all its forms as I write I'm going through a lot of issues I see .

you know how I think on quite a few matters , and very hard for this kid to fully comprehend what its like being that male figger that maybe has been imposed on you all , the Emotional side is what I'm looking at yes we have many Emotional factors that seem similer yet are they how many are real and those made up , say like acting as a woman ,

Some thing you said just bounced out at me was do you wont to go back to being a normal male I sense a shift ........ youd like another woman by your side, word this right.......just to have and to hold , I don't mean ,,,just,,,,another . I know what its like not having my ...WOMEN... by myside,

You all know who that is Jos ... of cause.

So my ? more to myself here is you and I are saying the same thing concerning having an other woman to be with us your 59 I,m almost 69 is this about a subject that is very much the same detail , my difference is of cause I,m a female what is then the attraction yet we are quite different from each other on many counts maybe also for different reasons wonting or needing another partner,

Okay I don't know what you see in having another partner only what I know and have been told, well most I was told , okay I,ll stop before I slide off the track here .

Oh by the way I'm back home from Austraila Tasmania, got home sat 16 th July at about 1200 h.

...noeleena...